Top Ten Worst Online Dating Profiles


Part of learning how to write a good online dating profile is learning what not to write. This will make or break your game. Their profiles are full of rookie mistakes: At first glance, he seems like a good guy. There are two serious problems with a self-description like this: The best way to stand out is to give girls specific information about your personality and interests.

WHY do you do it? He tells me specifically WHAT he does to stay active, so I can easily see what we might talk about. Make top ten worst online dating profiles easy for girls to talk to you with these prompts for going deeper with your self-description. Too often, I get psyched reading about a guy who seems great…only to be ambushed by his super depressing account of all the ways women have broken his heart and done him wrong. The bummer effect in action: Maybe therapy would be better right now.

First, I feel bad for the guy: But then I get uneasy. If I want to talk-out a disagreement, will he freak out and accuse me of starting drama? Some guys use their online dating profiles as a list of requirements for their future girlfriends. This is the fast track to Douche City: I've been using one of the major dating sites, OkCupid, on and off for about five years now. While it has its perks, being a woman on a dating site means immersing yourself in a disgusting cesspool top ten worst online dating profiles exposed nerves, unfiltered testosterone, and daily propositions to engage in sex acts so horrifying, I hadn't even heard of them before, and I'm from the Internet.

I got the feeling that a lot of men on that site would message literally any woman who had a profile, but the top ten worst online dating profiles in me wanted to believe that there was a limit. Maybe there was a woman so awful, so toxic, so irredeemably top ten worst online dating profiles that no one would message her, or if they did, at least they would realize they never, ever wanted to meet her. So I made the OkCupid profile of the Worst Woman on Earth, hoping to prove that there exists an online dating profile so loathsome that no man would message it.

I did not accomplish my goal. Advertisement The Profile In making this profile, I made sure my creation touched on every major facet of being truly horrible: I maintain that there is not a human on this planet who would read this profile and think, "Yes, I'd like to spend any amount of the fleeting time I'm given on my journey around the sun getting to know this person.

Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair: Only that last bit is relevant here, I guess. The Messages I figured any profile with photos of a beautiful woman would get a few messages from men whose boners were willing to overlook her personality. The captions on her photos were just as draped in red flags as her profile was, so there's no way they were totally clueless as to how awful she is, but sure, I figured, maybe she'd get a top ten worst online dating profiles of messages a day black guy dating white girl jokes people with especially low reading comprehension.

She got messages in 24 hours. OK, I thought, pouring myself a stiff drink as I prepared to sift through these messages from actual, living men with functioning central nervous systems. Maybe none of them read her profile, or maybe they thought that she was fun-crazy instead of actually-ruin-your-life crazy. I just had to convince them that she was the latter. My new goal was to get these men to stop messaging her back. I was going to make AaronCarterFan come across as so abhorrent that not even the kinds of dudes who comment on YouPorn videos would respond to her.

Want to guess how well that worked? I'll give you a hint: I'm confiscating everyone's penis until further notice. Be Unforgivably Awful In trying to convince these men that they're better than this, my first strategy was to just say horrible shit. These messages are natural extensions of her profile, confirmation that you do not, I repeat, do not want to know this woman. She Will Ruin Your Life OK, I get it.

These men don't care about her personality; there is no lower limit top ten worst online dating profiles how deeply repulsive she can be on the inside, as long as she's hot. It's a bitter pill to swallow, sure, but I guess that's how it is. But what if meeting her would have clear, lasting consequences? What if there was no such thing as a one-night stand with her? What if the effects of coming into contact with this woman were devastating and permanent?


Woman Creates 'Worst Online Dating Profile Ever,' Gets Tons of Replies


Are these the WORST dating profiles ever? From fancy dress to thinly-veiled innuendos, it's no wonder these singletons are still looking for love

PARAGRAPH. A Crying Child In A Cat's Anus Are you the cat or the child crying out of its anus. Whatever This Is This makes my brain hurt. Not only should this not be your profile picture, it should be you. If you can't, 1. PARAGRAPH. This Nope, everything here is bad. Especially your actual dick. Lot of bad things happening here. It might be too late! Also, get over it. It might be too late. Get a new non-juggling promotion profile pic. Creepy Pictures Of Someone Else If you don't want to use a picture of yourself, much worse. Not only should this not be your profile picture, 1. PARAGRAPH. It's too late, that's fine?