You are hereСубтитры - сезон 1, серия 7

Субтитры - сезон 1, серия 7


1
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Ladies and gentlemen Todd Carr...

2
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Who took my precious little
novel, wiped his ass,

3
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and transformed it into
this Crazy little thing called love.

4
00:00:13,894 --> 00:00:16,522
- Holy fucknuts!
- Shit!

5
00:00:17,022 --> 00:00:18,889
What, don't you fucking knock?

6
00:00:19,149 --> 00:00:22,327
You used to be all about morning sex.
What's going on with you?

7
00:00:22,611 --> 00:00:24,603
- Anybody home?
- Hey, baby!

8
00:00:24,863 --> 00:00:26,747
Good afternoon, Mrs. Runkle.

9
00:00:27,115 --> 00:00:29,315
- What do you want me to do?
- Maybe you want me

10
00:00:29,455 --> 00:00:31,985
to make you wear a ball gag
in your mouth.

11
00:00:32,245 --> 00:00:34,905
- You have to come get me.
- I'm a little busy right now.

12
00:00:35,165 --> 00:00:38,408
My teacher is coked out,
he's trying to get me into a threesome.

13
00:00:38,668 --> 00:00:40,381
You wannna go to the movies with us?

14
00:00:40,528 --> 00:00:43,122
It turns out that was
bald old uncle Charlie,

15
00:00:43,382 --> 00:00:44,957
and he's going through a rough patch.

16
00:00:45,217 --> 00:00:47,751
- You cried wolf.
- Maybe I just wanted to see you.

17
00:00:48,011 --> 00:00:49,482
You're not in love with me, Hank.

18
00:00:49,622 --> 00:00:52,503
You're in love with the idea of love.

19
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You're running for the hills.

20
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Subtitles: swsub.com

21
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Okay, this is exciting.
I'm ready. I'm all ears.

22
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"Nothing gold can stay."

23
00:01:13,906 --> 00:01:17,817
- "Nature's first green... "
- I just threw up in my mouth a little.

24
00:01:17,957 --> 00:01:20,551
You had 20 centuries of halfway
decent verse to choose from

25
00:01:20,691 --> 00:01:22,992
and you're going with some minor Frosty?

26
00:01:23,249 --> 00:01:24,386
I like it.

27
00:01:25,194 --> 00:01:27,324
- It's short.
- And?

28
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Bleak.

29
00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:31,445
And?

30
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I saw it in a movie once.

31
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Well, then, it must be good. continue.

32
00:01:37,147 --> 00:01:39,851
Well, basically it's about
how nothing good ever lasts,

33
00:01:39,991 --> 00:01:43,223
How, no matter what you do,
it all just turns to shit in the end...

34
00:01:43,607 --> 00:01:45,774
You know, like you and mom.

35
00:01:46,941 --> 00:01:50,251
Trenchant if profane literary criticism.
It's an interesting take.

36
00:01:50,391 --> 00:01:52,485
I will put that one on your tab,
by the way.

37
00:01:52,625 --> 00:01:55,813
But don't ever think that, honey.
Just because something is bleak

38
00:01:56,057 --> 00:01:58,947
- doesn't necessarily make it true.
- Hair.

39
00:02:00,176 --> 00:02:03,246
Happy endings may get a bad rap,
but they do happen.

40
00:02:03,424 --> 00:02:06,788
And when they do, they're just
as true as the unhappy ones.

41
00:02:07,079 --> 00:02:10,876
So you're saying it's possible one day
you and mom could get back together?

42
00:02:11,151 --> 00:02:14,842
- Of course. Anything's possible.
- Yes, but is it realistic?

43
00:02:17,591 --> 00:02:19,841
Who says we have to be realistic?

44
00:02:20,173 --> 00:02:21,091
Mom.

45
00:02:23,998 --> 00:02:28,035
Not to contradictyour dear old mom,
who's both wicked smart and wonderful,

46
00:02:28,195 --> 00:02:30,516
but, no, we don't have to be...
realistic, that is.

47
00:02:30,807 --> 00:02:32,717
Not when it comes to love.

48
00:02:33,584 --> 00:02:35,462
Jeez. Is that Yusuf?

49
00:02:37,551 --> 00:02:38,904
Guess that's her.

50
00:02:39,458 --> 00:02:42,391
Got to change
what I'm feeding that dog... Or you.

51
00:02:45,824 --> 00:02:47,118
Hello, sunshine.

52
00:02:47,258 --> 00:02:49,218
I'm double-parked,
so I just got to grab her.

53
00:02:49,358 --> 00:02:52,072
Then, skip the pleasantries.
But do me a favor and stop

54
00:02:52,236 --> 00:02:54,901
telling our daughter not to believe
in happy endings.

55
00:02:55,064 --> 00:02:56,784
What's next... no Santa Claus?

56
00:02:56,924 --> 00:02:58,997
You gonna shit all over
the Easter bunny, too?

57
00:02:59,144 --> 00:03:01,717
I think she figured out
the Santa Claus thing already,

58
00:03:01,857 --> 00:03:03,817
and I do believe in happy endings,

59
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just not when it comes
to the ballad of Hank and Karen.

60
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Bullshit. We practically made out last
week. That's nothing if not progress.

61
00:03:10,449 --> 00:03:13,762
- I hope to get to 2sd base this week.
- Please. that was an accident.

62
00:03:13,925 --> 00:03:15,523
- An accident?
- Your tongue

63
00:03:15,759 --> 00:03:17,943
- slipped into my mouth?
- No, other way around.

64
00:03:18,458 --> 00:03:21,113
The fact that you're making
these lame excuses up

65
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can only mean one thing...
you're totally into me still.

66
00:03:24,732 --> 00:03:25,742
Oh, really?

67
00:03:26,006 --> 00:03:26,805
Totally.

68
00:03:29,928 --> 00:03:32,075
- Come on, honey.
- Goodbye, sweetie.

69
00:03:36,228 --> 00:03:38,434
Hey. Stay gold, ponyboy.

70
00:04:28,786 --> 00:04:30,807
There is no fucking soy milk!

71
00:04:32,085 --> 00:04:34,308
Will you nut up
and learn to digest dairy?

72
00:04:34,725 --> 00:04:36,351
What the fuck is wrong with you?

73
00:04:36,491 --> 00:04:39,107
Nothing a brand-new
gastrointestinal tract wouldn't fix.

74
00:04:39,377 --> 00:04:40,941
Bullshit. Here.

75
00:04:41,128 --> 00:04:43,711
It's not vanilla, but you
can punish me for that later.

76
00:04:43,870 --> 00:04:45,984
I'll dust off the whips and chains.

77
00:04:46,599 --> 00:04:47,750
Very funny.

78
00:04:47,890 --> 00:04:50,617
Seriously. I've been
a very naughty hausfrau.

79
00:04:50,757 --> 00:04:52,543
You almost died from malnutrition.

80
00:04:52,747 --> 00:04:55,251
These jokes are never
gonna get old, are they?

81
00:04:55,391 --> 00:04:57,318
What is a marriage,
if not an opportunity

82
00:04:57,458 --> 00:05:01,585
to mock someone through thick and thin
while simultaneously exploring

83
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your deepest, darkest sexual desires?

84
00:05:03,890 --> 00:05:08,053
What say one day soon we lay off mine
and start discussing yours?

85
00:05:08,658 --> 00:05:11,473
- Like you could handle that.
- You want to try me?

86
00:05:12,374 --> 00:05:13,961
I want to do it with a girl.

87
00:05:18,330 --> 00:05:19,541
So, what,

88
00:05:19,996 --> 00:05:23,374
this is something you
feel you might enjoy?

89
00:05:24,014 --> 00:05:26,318
Yeah, sure. I hear it's nice, you know?

90
00:05:26,458 --> 00:05:29,407
Getting a little work done by someone
who owns her own set of tools.

91
00:05:29,768 --> 00:05:33,118
But I wouldn't want to leave you out.
It seems more...

92
00:05:33,274 --> 00:05:35,461
I don't know, honest that way.

93
00:05:36,291 --> 00:05:38,158
Honest... Right.

94
00:05:40,016 --> 00:05:41,951
Don't you see what this means?

95
00:05:42,091 --> 00:05:44,141
This is a gift from on high.

96
00:05:44,424 --> 00:05:46,800
This is a cosmic
"get out of jail free" card.

97
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The whole thing was her idea.

98
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I'm trying to mentally
masturbate about it,

99
00:05:51,524 --> 00:05:54,349
but an image of you keeps popping.
That's a problem.

100
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No, see, if I do this...
if we do this thing,

101
00:05:57,324 --> 00:05:59,793
then all this guilt I've been
carrying around for weeks...

102
00:05:59,958 --> 00:06:03,098
The massive, crushing guilt...
poof, that is gone.

103
00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:04,567
I am absolved.

104
00:06:05,572 --> 00:06:07,987
I know you Hebrews do things
a little differently,

105
00:06:08,255 --> 00:06:10,375
but last I checked,
a mйnage а trois

106
00:06:10,516 --> 00:06:12,700
was not a pit stop
on the road to redemption.

107
00:06:13,224 --> 00:06:14,911
This could save the marriage.

108
00:06:15,352 --> 00:06:17,218
So can buying a beach house.

109
00:06:17,358 --> 00:06:20,184
Or you could try adopting
an incredibly good-looking African baby.

110
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- I hear good things about that.
- Speaking of...

111
00:06:24,690 --> 00:06:27,084
You got to be fucking kidding me.
That cocksucker?

112
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That cocksucker has the taste
to want to option your blog

113
00:06:29,902 --> 00:06:33,312
- for a nice chunk of change.
- How the fuck do you option a blog?

114
00:06:33,458 --> 00:06:35,682
What is there to option?
The title? The font?

115
00:06:36,052 --> 00:06:38,351
Todd! Good to see you, man.

116
00:06:38,491 --> 00:06:40,084
Glad you could make it.

117
00:06:42,008 --> 00:06:45,485
I would stand, but that would expose
my nether-regions to attack.

118
00:06:46,475 --> 00:06:49,123
I got no beef with you, Moody.
I'm here on business.

119
00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:51,725
So I'm told
by the Fredo Corleone of agents.

120
00:06:51,905 --> 00:06:54,880
Although I can't imagine
what that business might be,

121
00:06:55,077 --> 00:06:57,787
unless it's to discuss custody
of our retarded love child.

122
00:06:58,052 --> 00:06:59,706
Let the man talk, will you?

123
00:06:59,950 --> 00:07:02,084
Todd has a three-picture
deal at Paramount.

124
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He's looking to get his sack back
with some seriously edgy material.

125
00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:08,655
I'm sorry, but my testicles
are not available for time-share.

126
00:07:08,950 --> 00:07:11,301
I told you
this was a waste of my fucking time.

127
00:07:11,568 --> 00:07:15,471
Do you know how much shit I had to take
for directing a frothy little rom com?

128
00:07:15,783 --> 00:07:18,252
You think Antoine Fuqua
returns my calls?

129
00:07:18,506 --> 00:07:19,661
But I did it.

130
00:07:19,829 --> 00:07:22,015
I knocked that motherfucker
into the cheap seats.

131
00:07:22,253 --> 00:07:24,351
And I'm glad I did it. Do you know why?

132
00:07:24,491 --> 00:07:27,066
Because it keeps the baby mamas
in juicy couture?

133
00:07:28,005 --> 00:07:30,069
No, hey, I'm not hating.

134
00:07:30,351 --> 00:07:32,851
I'm not judging.
I got a little baby mama all my own.

135
00:07:32,991 --> 00:07:36,266
It's true. He does.
I'm sensing some common ground here.

136
00:07:36,408 --> 00:07:37,667
Do you remember Karen?

137
00:07:37,814 --> 00:07:40,163
Yeah, she was way
too fucking hot for this mope.

138
00:07:40,377 --> 00:07:41,414
Ttrue. She is.

139
00:07:41,593 --> 00:07:44,918
She also happens to be one
fan-fucking-tastic architect.

140
00:07:45,190 --> 00:07:48,087
Is someone looking to pimp out
the McMansion in Baldwin Wills?

141
00:07:48,359 --> 00:07:50,131
I own a Ray fucking Kappe house.

142
00:07:51,531 --> 00:07:54,710
No shit. Guy has a hard-on for
architecture bigger than Brad Pitt's.

143
00:07:54,890 --> 00:07:57,596
- Oh, Color Me Impressed.
- What, a brother can't love modernism?

144
00:07:58,258 --> 00:08:01,092
I like this.
We're free-associating here.

145
00:08:01,242 --> 00:08:04,577
Nice. The lines of communication...
wide open. Excellent.

146
00:08:04,908 --> 00:08:06,968
Do you know why I wanted to
work with you again?

147
00:08:07,229 --> 00:08:09,817
When you're not wallowing
in narcissistic despair,

148
00:08:10,144 --> 00:08:12,684
you're the rarest thing
this town has to offer...

149
00:08:12,824 --> 00:08:14,530
Someone with some goddamn vision.

150
00:08:15,065 --> 00:08:18,479
I thought it was 'cause you liked
the feel of my balls on your knuckles.

151
00:08:19,324 --> 00:08:20,641
Later, Runkle.

152
00:08:26,785 --> 00:08:28,208
Well done, my friend.

153
00:08:29,057 --> 00:08:31,307
I don't know. I feel like we bonded.

154
00:08:37,716 --> 00:08:40,726
Who the fuck is answering
my fucking phones if there's...

155
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:47,107
Baby, where have you been?
I had a burst of inspiration.

156
00:08:47,416 --> 00:08:49,074
- Come here, you.
- Hello.

157
00:08:50,091 --> 00:08:53,341
So I was talking to Dani here
about our sexual problem.

158
00:08:53,685 --> 00:08:56,174
- Our what?
- She's totally in.

159
00:08:57,081 --> 00:09:00,189
- Excuse me?
- Her, me, you.

160
00:09:00,547 --> 00:09:02,885
We had a little girl-to-girl
chat on the subject,

161
00:09:03,025 --> 00:09:05,776
and she agrees with me
about the toolbox thing.

162
00:09:06,502 --> 00:09:07,523
Oh, shit.

163
00:09:08,672 --> 00:09:10,033
I said "tool."

164
00:09:10,601 --> 00:09:11,671
and "box."

165
00:09:13,270 --> 00:09:15,351
Could you give us just a second, please?

166
00:09:15,491 --> 00:09:18,184
I believe my wife forgot to take
her Librium this morning.

167
00:09:18,324 --> 00:09:19,859
No problem, Sir.

168
00:09:20,103 --> 00:09:22,779
So, hold all your calls?

169
00:09:22,957 --> 00:09:25,501
- Yes, Dani, hold all my calls.
- Very good, sir.

170
00:09:31,253 --> 00:09:33,808
Wife, have you lost
your fucking mind?

171
00:09:34,244 --> 00:09:37,084
This is perfect.
It's exactly what we talked about.

172
00:09:37,235 --> 00:09:39,865
Yeah, talked... as in
hypothetical conversation.

173
00:09:40,161 --> 00:09:41,909
That's my fucking secretary!

174
00:09:42,423 --> 00:09:43,223
So?

175
00:09:43,775 --> 00:09:46,151
So, if it goes badly,
I'll have to fire her.

176
00:09:46,291 --> 00:09:48,415
Shit, if it goes well,
I'd have to fire her.

177
00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:51,767
Either way, I'm out one fucking
secretary and up a giant lawsuit.

178
00:09:51,908 --> 00:09:53,712
I thought you said she was god-awful?

179
00:09:55,186 --> 00:09:58,842
They're all god-awful
until you train them. Then they improve.

180
00:09:59,122 --> 00:10:00,808
What, like dogs?

181
00:10:00,991 --> 00:10:03,389
Come on. You're not
gonna do this for me?

182
00:10:03,696 --> 00:10:06,684
- I helped you out with your fantasy.
- Yeah, badly.

183
00:10:08,655 --> 00:10:10,688
Just pick someone else, that's all.

184
00:10:10,966 --> 00:10:13,817
- Like who?
- I don't know... somebody, anybody.

185
00:10:14,005 --> 00:10:17,828
Someone from the salon or I...
What about Karen?

186
00:10:19,485 --> 00:10:21,043
The prim reaper?

187
00:10:21,489 --> 00:10:24,448
She's so tall... and Presbyterian.

188
00:10:24,709 --> 00:10:28,223
- The woman's a goddess. She's gorgeous.
- I don't wanna go where Hank has been.

189
00:10:28,372 --> 00:10:31,494
He probably left booby traps
up there like the Vietcong.

190
00:10:32,545 --> 00:10:34,981
Come on, baby... Please?

191
00:10:35,625 --> 00:10:38,966
I want the little one.
She looks like she knows things.

192
00:10:45,032 --> 00:10:47,014
- Oh, my god.
- You like?

193
00:10:47,156 --> 00:10:49,750
Well, yeah, of course I like.
It's a Ray Kappe house.

194
00:10:49,890 --> 00:10:51,019
Ray fucking Kappe.

195
00:10:51,276 --> 00:10:53,633
That's one of those guys
from architecture school

196
00:10:53,888 --> 00:10:55,468
who got you all juiced up.

197
00:10:55,615 --> 00:10:58,617
I thought you'd like to see one
all up close and personal.

198
00:10:58,757 --> 00:11:00,656
Can you get back in the car?

199
00:11:00,819 --> 00:11:03,473
We're gonna get tasered
by the Bel-Air patrol.

200
00:11:03,891 --> 00:11:04,933
My lady.

201
00:11:06,881 --> 00:11:08,073
What are you doing?

202
00:11:08,524 --> 00:11:11,674
Just made a little deal
with the caramel-coated devil.

203
00:11:12,037 --> 00:11:14,028
Tasering... you like that?

204
00:11:14,184 --> 00:11:16,086
Is that something you're into now?

205
00:11:16,521 --> 00:11:18,041
My God.

206
00:11:18,441 --> 00:11:21,842
- It's fucking gorgeous, huh?
- Not a lot of closet space, though.

207
00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:24,884
Hank never really got
architecture as an art form.

208
00:11:25,024 --> 00:11:27,806
Too much compromise involved,
too many practicalities.

209
00:11:28,098 --> 00:11:31,348
Dude would rather hang out all alone
in his ivory tower, right?

210
00:11:31,540 --> 00:11:33,850
Massaging those precious
little words of his.

211
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:36,638
Like anyone gives a fuck if it's
an "and" instead of "or."

212
00:11:36,825 --> 00:11:40,418
You got me all wrong.
I try to live in an ivory tower,

213
00:11:40,558 --> 00:11:43,259
but a tide of shit is
constantly beating at its walls.

214
00:11:43,407 --> 00:11:45,416
Don't be impressed.
He stole it from Flaubert.

215
00:11:45,558 --> 00:11:49,219
Carr, if you don't mind my asking,
how much a place like this set you back?

216
00:11:49,423 --> 00:11:52,586
The feeling of real architecture...
You can't put a price tag on that.

217
00:11:52,782 --> 00:11:56,418
- So you do mind.
- Makes your heart soar, lifts your soul.

218
00:11:56,558 --> 00:11:58,086
you know what I mean.

219
00:11:58,358 --> 00:12:00,198
It's just incredible.

220
00:12:01,004 --> 00:12:04,211
- I think it was Ruskin who once said...
- "It was Ruskin..."

221
00:12:04,456 --> 00:12:05,502
Shut up.

222
00:12:05,679 --> 00:12:08,883
"Without architecture,
there would be no remembering."

223
00:12:09,809 --> 00:12:12,191
- I like that. That's nice.
- Yeah, it's cool.

224
00:12:12,333 --> 00:12:13,841
About 4, 5 mill?

225
00:12:14,893 --> 00:12:16,528
- More?
- I'm so sorry.

226
00:12:18,168 --> 00:12:20,032
Can I just say thank you so much?

227
00:12:20,335 --> 00:12:23,251
It's always been a dream of mine
to see inside this house.

228
00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:27,089
- I really appreciate your time.
- It's gonna be even more slick

229
00:12:27,269 --> 00:12:29,820
when I have a pool out here,
a little guest house,

230
00:12:29,983 --> 00:12:33,795
maybe a screening room.
And I want it all to be eco-friendly.

231
00:12:33,937 --> 00:12:36,054
Hank says you're some kind
of genius at that.

232
00:12:36,201 --> 00:12:38,973
- No, I...
- I was hoping you would take the job.

233
00:12:39,591 --> 00:12:41,873
- What job?
- Did I forget to mention

234
00:12:42,020 --> 00:12:44,586
that Carr here
is looking for an architect?

235
00:12:45,030 --> 00:12:47,188
- I think my work here is done.
- Me?

236
00:12:48,090 --> 00:12:49,382
What do you think?

237
00:12:49,886 --> 00:12:50,991
My God!

238
00:12:52,584 --> 00:12:53,810
Oh. I like that.

239
00:12:56,115 --> 00:12:58,318
Want to jump my bones now or hold out

240
00:12:58,458 --> 00:13:01,485
for a situation
with a little more back support?

241
00:13:02,531 --> 00:13:04,693
- I did good, didn't I?
- You did!

242
00:13:04,857 --> 00:13:08,082
- Thank you so much. I'm so excited.
- You're welcome.

243
00:13:08,450 --> 00:13:10,439
Will you take me home
so I can celebrate?

244
00:13:10,592 --> 00:13:12,823
I'm up for that.
Let's hit El pollo loco.

245
00:13:13,018 --> 00:13:14,748
- I mean with Becca.
- Her too.

246
00:13:14,911 --> 00:13:17,180
The "crazy chicken"
does not discriminate.

247
00:13:17,322 --> 00:13:19,184
Oh, it's Wednesday night, I forgot.

248
00:13:19,324 --> 00:13:21,501
Okay, I can celebrate
some other time.

249
00:13:21,681 --> 00:13:24,547
You will not stay home alone
on the night of your big victory.

250
00:13:24,689 --> 00:13:26,972
- No, unacceptable.
- You'd swap nights with me?

251
00:13:27,131 --> 00:13:29,499
Sadly, no, but I will repeat
my original offer

252
00:13:29,679 --> 00:13:32,184
that all three of us
throw down the carbs together...

253
00:13:32,348 --> 00:13:35,438
Man, woman, and child.
You wanted to celebrate, come on!

254
00:13:36,052 --> 00:13:38,701
- Not with you.
- I want to celebrate with you.

255
00:13:38,848 --> 00:13:40,513
- Invite me over.
- No.

256
00:13:40,670 --> 00:13:43,874
Invite me over!
I will cook for you.

257
00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:47,362
- Cook? You?
- Yes.

258
00:13:47,636 --> 00:13:50,506
- I have my one dish.
- Not the "cheese sensation".

259
00:13:50,768 --> 00:13:52,959
Yes, five different kinds
of cheeses,

260
00:13:53,149 --> 00:13:55,844
including cream cheese,
the people's cheese.

261
00:13:57,577 --> 00:14:00,242
Don't knock the haute cuisine
of Long Island.

262
00:14:00,422 --> 00:14:02,842
- It'll be like old times.
- Yeah, but which ones?

263
00:14:02,989 --> 00:14:04,262
The good ones, like

264
00:14:04,409 --> 00:14:06,682
when we lived on Charles Street,
among the gays.

265
00:14:06,823 --> 00:14:08,980
- You hated that place.
- But you loved it.

266
00:14:09,128 --> 00:14:11,531
Just like you love
fucked-up architecture like this

267
00:14:11,678 --> 00:14:13,936
David Hockney, gigantic fucking earrings

268
00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:18,541
and the complete and utter clichй
of driving west on Mulholland at sunset.

269
00:14:19,402 --> 00:14:21,897
You think I don't know
these things, but I do.

270
00:14:25,614 --> 00:14:26,987
I'm in, aren't I?

271
00:14:28,753 --> 00:14:29,816
I'm in.

272
00:14:44,013 --> 00:14:45,256
How do I look?

273
00:14:46,296 --> 00:14:48,045
You look good.

274
00:14:51,790 --> 00:14:53,457
You think she likes nuts?

275
00:14:53,621 --> 00:14:55,684
Maybe we should offer her
some mixed nuts.

276
00:14:55,824 --> 00:14:56,864
I don't know.

277
00:14:57,658 --> 00:14:59,695
What? You think she's allergic?

278
00:14:59,837 --> 00:15:03,177
How the fuck should I know
something like that? I don't know.

279
00:15:03,324 --> 00:15:06,904
You work with people, these things
come up in casual conversation.

280
00:15:07,051 --> 00:15:09,369
"None for me, thanks.
I have a nut allergy."

281
00:15:09,511 --> 00:15:11,901
Sorry. We don't have
that kind of relationship.

282
00:15:12,048 --> 00:15:14,386
Really, I don't know very much
about this girl.

283
00:15:14,617 --> 00:15:16,963
Other than you think
that she's fucking hot.

284
00:15:17,111 --> 00:15:19,220
How am I supposed to respond to that?

285
00:15:19,367 --> 00:15:22,437
What do you want me to say?
You want me to say, "I love you,

286
00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:24,742
"this is fucking crazy.
let's not do this"?

287
00:15:24,902 --> 00:15:27,608
Don't yell at me, asswipe!
I am nervous enough as it is!

288
00:15:27,762 --> 00:15:30,362
- Yeah, and isn't that a sign?
- A sign of what?

289
00:15:30,526 --> 00:15:34,221
That we shouldn't go through with this!
I mean, look what we have here.

290
00:15:34,368 --> 00:15:36,141
This is pretty great, right?

291
00:15:36,305 --> 00:15:38,675
How do we know we're gonna
be the same afterwards?

292
00:15:38,870 --> 00:15:39,870
The same?

293
00:15:40,012 --> 00:15:41,944
I thought the same was the problem.

294
00:15:42,105 --> 00:15:44,595
What problem? there's no problem.

295
00:15:51,574 --> 00:15:53,740
Do you want to get that, or should I?

296
00:16:20,761 --> 00:16:23,084
Yeah. I'm gonna be there in like five...

297
00:16:24,861 --> 00:16:26,228
Hello, Mia? Yes.

298
00:16:28,854 --> 00:16:32,298
No, I'm sure you're in trouble.
That just... It sounds...

299
00:16:32,462 --> 00:16:36,430
It sounds pretty tragic, actually.
Quite a story. Very familiar, too.

300
00:16:36,578 --> 00:16:39,011
Oh, that's right. I heard it last week.

301
00:17:03,788 --> 00:17:06,263
Where did you get that bra?
That is so cute!

302
00:17:09,188 --> 00:17:11,553
Sorry. My bad. Mood killer.

303
00:17:37,289 --> 00:17:39,562
You're not gonna fist me or anything,
are you?

304
00:17:39,722 --> 00:17:42,309
- Cause I'm not sure I'm ready for that.
- Marce!

305
00:17:43,358 --> 00:17:46,456
- What?
- A little less talk might be nice.

306
00:17:46,947 --> 00:17:48,769
Everybody's a fucking critic.

307
00:17:49,999 --> 00:17:52,240
Put me in, coach.
I'll bring it home for you.

308
00:17:57,078 --> 00:17:59,538
Do you think we should...
I don't know...

309
00:17:59,729 --> 00:18:01,273
Include him somehow?

310
00:18:02,041 --> 00:18:03,476
It's your fantasy.

311
00:18:08,461 --> 00:18:09,461
Hello?

312
00:18:10,189 --> 00:18:11,282
I'm thinking.

313
00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:15,154
I mean, shit, I can sleep
with you any night of the week.

314
00:18:15,318 --> 00:18:18,632
- It's not how this is supposed to be.
- It's a fantasy.

315
00:18:19,069 --> 00:18:21,147
it's not supposed to be at all.

316
00:18:32,508 --> 00:18:34,824
Hey. Thank god you're here.
Okay, sweetie.

317
00:18:35,078 --> 00:18:36,864
- I gotta go.
- Where you going?

318
00:18:37,257 --> 00:18:39,731
Mia's in some fucked-up situation
with her teacher.

319
00:18:39,897 --> 00:18:42,046
She's kind of drunk or drugs,
I don't know.

320
00:18:42,214 --> 00:18:45,720
- I'm gonna come with you.
- Not your problem. Stay with Becca.

321
00:18:46,540 --> 00:18:50,009
You don't know this guy.
He's a sex crime waiting to happen.

322
00:18:50,186 --> 00:18:52,883
25 minutes at 300, okay?
Throw that in the oven.

323
00:18:53,054 --> 00:18:54,967
- Why are you going?
- Because I have to.

324
00:18:55,107 --> 00:18:56,984
No, you don't. It's just Mia.

325
00:18:57,135 --> 00:18:59,631
- You guys aren't blood-related.
- Right.

326
00:18:59,810 --> 00:19:02,654
- Your mother needs backup.
- No, I don't!

327
00:19:02,915 --> 00:19:05,324
Can you stay with Becca?
She's been waiting for you.

328
00:19:05,476 --> 00:19:07,306
You can't handle this guy alone!

329
00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:10,571
He doesn't look it, but he's dangerous.

330
00:19:10,725 --> 00:19:12,653
I think he's dan... Just let me drive.

331
00:19:12,826 --> 00:19:15,625
I'll drive you there.
We'll go. We'll go together.

332
00:19:49,491 --> 00:19:50,491
Here.

333
00:19:50,878 --> 00:19:52,634
Do with it what you will.

334
00:19:52,930 --> 00:19:54,057
Or maybe...

335
00:19:55,063 --> 00:19:57,714
... you can dish it out
but can't take it.

336
00:19:58,506 --> 00:20:01,826
Is this gonna hurt?
'Cause this looks like it might hurt.

337
00:20:02,174 --> 00:20:04,251
That's kind of the point, isn't it?

338
00:20:05,417 --> 00:20:07,904
I mean, he's done
some pretty bad things, this guy.

339
00:20:08,369 --> 00:20:10,505
He deserves to be punished for them.

340
00:20:12,246 --> 00:20:13,695
Things like what?

341
00:20:13,941 --> 00:20:15,444
You know, the usual.

342
00:20:20,644 --> 00:20:23,295
Oh, man. I got to get my camera.

343
00:20:24,877 --> 00:20:27,733
Motherfucker! Cocksucker! Shit! Fuck!

344
00:20:27,966 --> 00:20:30,207
You're attached to the fucking chain!

345
00:20:30,491 --> 00:20:33,224
Just don't move!
Get it off your underwear!

346
00:20:38,633 --> 00:20:42,268
Finally. You guys gotta get this fucking
jailbait out of my house.

347
00:20:42,583 --> 00:20:44,486
Honey, it's me. It's Karen.

348
00:20:44,628 --> 00:20:46,036
Hey, hey, wake up.

349
00:20:46,184 --> 00:20:48,958
You know, this isn't just alcohol.
She's taken something.

350
00:20:49,436 --> 00:20:51,651
Hey, Mia. Wake up!

351
00:20:52,535 --> 00:20:54,543
Hank, you came.

352
00:20:54,948 --> 00:20:56,779
What the fuck's she talking about?

353
00:20:56,977 --> 00:20:57,977
"You came"?

354
00:20:58,119 --> 00:21:00,688
I don't know. She's confused.
keep your eyes open.

355
00:21:00,998 --> 00:21:02,688
Look at me. Keep your eyes open.

356
00:21:02,830 --> 00:21:04,365
Animal, what'd you give her?

357
00:21:04,529 --> 00:21:06,561
You think I set a fucking date-rape drug?

358
00:21:06,795 --> 00:21:10,132
Valium, for Christ's sakes. The girl's
got a goddamn rite aid in her purse.

359
00:21:10,290 --> 00:21:12,110
How many did you take?

360
00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:15,155
What? 5, 4?

361
00:21:15,346 --> 00:21:17,109
45? 4 or 5.

362
00:21:17,491 --> 00:21:19,815
See? Nobody's gonna off themselves
with 4.

363
00:21:19,992 --> 00:21:21,220
It's all an act.

364
00:21:21,362 --> 00:21:24,855
You know how fucking popular
this shit is with the young ladies?

365
00:21:24,997 --> 00:21:26,344
Do you think it's funny?

366
00:21:26,815 --> 00:21:29,447
This is someone's child here,
you asshole!

367
00:21:29,631 --> 00:21:30,851
They trusted you!

368
00:21:31,333 --> 00:21:33,379
You are meant to be her teacher!

369
00:21:33,672 --> 00:21:35,986
You think I wanted Sylvia Plath
to come here

370
00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:39,281
and go all fucking Bell Jar on me?
I'm the one getting manipulated here.

371
00:21:39,482 --> 00:21:42,025
She comes up to me
after fucking debate practice...

372
00:21:42,244 --> 00:21:43,857
Do you want me to smack you?

373
00:21:45,199 --> 00:21:46,199
Oh, shit.

374
00:21:46,415 --> 00:21:49,962
- I bet she feels a lot better now.
- Oh, no, she did not just fucking...

375
00:21:50,104 --> 00:21:51,799
- I see two.
- Two what?

376
00:21:52,004 --> 00:21:53,736
2 pills. Is that a 3rd one there?

377
00:21:53,914 --> 00:21:56,289
Look, I assume that's sushi.
Is that a pill?

378
00:21:57,376 --> 00:21:59,426
Let's get the fuck out of here.

379
00:21:59,700 --> 00:22:01,025
Ah, shit, Moody!

380
00:22:02,135 --> 00:22:04,062
Now I'm gonna fucking hurl.

381
00:22:06,350 --> 00:22:07,350
Fuck!

382
00:22:10,776 --> 00:22:13,245
Who's your primary care guy again?

383
00:22:13,387 --> 00:22:15,076
How should I fucking know?

384
00:22:15,218 --> 00:22:18,163
You think these people are ever
gonna get around to sewing me up?

385
00:22:18,305 --> 00:22:20,642
I'm in considerable fucking pain here!

386
00:22:20,909 --> 00:22:23,599
I'm sorry, okay?
I said it a thousand times.

387
00:22:23,741 --> 00:22:25,729
You know I'm bad with mechanical things.

388
00:22:25,879 --> 00:22:29,817
Tell that to my missing nipple.
You took off like 12 layers of skin.

389
00:22:31,105 --> 00:22:32,403
I'm sorry, nipple.

390
00:22:34,270 --> 00:22:37,373
Now that I've maimed you,
where am I gonna rest my head?

391
00:22:37,537 --> 00:22:39,618
That was like my favorite spot.

392
00:22:43,909 --> 00:22:45,139
Some fantasy?

393
00:22:46,123 --> 00:22:48,487
How the fuck did we end up here?

394
00:22:49,622 --> 00:22:51,932
On some level,
I think you wanted to punish me.

395
00:22:52,098 --> 00:22:55,149
- I think you both wanted to punish me.
- For what?

396
00:22:55,291 --> 00:22:57,896
Shit, you know... Everything.
Husband stuff.

397
00:22:58,038 --> 00:22:59,475
Not me, dickwad. Her!

398
00:22:59,616 --> 00:23:01,601
Why the fuck
would she wanna punish you?

399
00:23:01,743 --> 00:23:03,687
She barely knows you.
What does she care?

400
00:23:03,831 --> 00:23:04,910
I'm her boss!

401
00:23:05,061 --> 00:23:07,124
I make her do
humiliating things all day.

402
00:23:07,266 --> 00:23:08,751
You think she likes that?

403
00:23:09,631 --> 00:23:10,631
What?

404
00:23:14,024 --> 00:23:15,412
You leaned wrong.

405
00:23:16,284 --> 00:23:17,284
I'm sorry.

406
00:23:19,772 --> 00:23:22,533
She's an interesting girl,
though, that one.

407
00:23:23,940 --> 00:23:25,403
Fantastic ass.

408
00:23:29,508 --> 00:23:30,725
How is she?

409
00:23:31,572 --> 00:23:32,980
Even if she's fine,

410
00:23:33,595 --> 00:23:37,355
she's gonna feel like
seven different kinds of shit tomorrow.

411
00:23:37,614 --> 00:23:38,995
You gonna tell Bill?

412
00:23:39,596 --> 00:23:41,915
Well, yeah. I mean, I have to, right?

413
00:23:42,135 --> 00:23:44,760
Wouldn't you want to know?
if your 16-year-old daughter

414
00:23:44,924 --> 00:23:48,099
was hanging out with some creepy perv
who's like twice her age?

415
00:23:48,255 --> 00:23:51,343
The situation may not be
exactly as it seems.

416
00:23:51,544 --> 00:23:52,980
You've got to be kidding.

417
00:23:53,122 --> 00:23:55,408
- You're on the side of the perv, right?
- Always.

418
00:23:55,555 --> 00:23:58,036
Somebody's gotta stand up
for the creepy common man.

419
00:23:58,269 --> 00:24:01,024
You know, that should be
a lesson to you, Hank Moody.

420
00:24:01,166 --> 00:24:04,076
To me? A lesson to me? Why?

421
00:24:05,194 --> 00:24:09,147
- Why did you point your finger at me?
- I'm just kidding, it's okay.

422
00:24:09,757 --> 00:24:12,846
You're a great dad.
You have nothing to worry about.

423
00:24:13,365 --> 00:24:16,037
I mean, that's the sexiest
thing about you.

424
00:24:18,259 --> 00:24:20,145
You want to say good night to Becca?

425
00:24:20,742 --> 00:24:21,742
Please.

426
00:24:22,117 --> 00:24:23,117
Go, then.

427
00:24:24,358 --> 00:24:26,451
You know, you did need
my backup tonight.

428
00:24:26,642 --> 00:24:30,005
You might have killed that guy
if I wasn't there.

429
00:24:45,173 --> 00:24:45,973
Dad?

430
00:24:46,603 --> 00:24:47,603
Hey.

431
00:24:48,489 --> 00:24:51,885
What are you listening to, there?
A little falling-asleep music?

432
00:24:52,396 --> 00:24:55,171
Little Joni Mitchell,
Blood on the tracks?

433
00:24:56,455 --> 00:24:57,918
Death cab for cutie.

434
00:24:58,519 --> 00:25:00,740
You really know how to hurt a guy.

435
00:25:04,102 --> 00:25:06,516
I know tonight...

436
00:25:07,378 --> 00:25:09,346
kind of got a little ruined.

437
00:25:10,344 --> 00:25:12,749
It's okay. I'm used to it.

438
00:25:13,159 --> 00:25:16,412
Yeah, well, I'll make it up to you,
I swear.

439
00:25:17,224 --> 00:25:19,085
- I know.
- Do you?

440
00:25:21,038 --> 00:25:23,823
Sure. You never mean to let me down.

441
00:25:25,793 --> 00:25:27,125
But you do.

442
00:25:29,633 --> 00:25:31,096
Yeah, I guess I do.

443
00:25:33,399 --> 00:25:37,068
You know, it's all well and good
to talk about happy endings.

444
00:25:37,792 --> 00:25:39,706
But if a person can't deliver,

445
00:25:40,642 --> 00:25:42,378
if he keeps screwing up,

446
00:25:44,414 --> 00:25:46,068
well, eventually, I guess

447
00:25:46,210 --> 00:25:48,670
you kind of just have to say,
"fuck you,"

448
00:25:52,683 --> 00:25:54,432
or words to that effect.

449
00:26:06,944 --> 00:26:08,612
You can keep the change.


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