You are hereСубтитры - сезон 1, серия 9

Субтитры - сезон 1, серия 9


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Previously on Californication...

2
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I was talking to Dani
about our sexual problem.

3
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She's totally in.

4
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- I've got to get my camera. This is...
- Motherfucker!

5
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Most recently, I gave man birth
to a tome called "God hates us all."

6
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Which was turned into a movie called
"A crazy little thing called love."

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You drink too much, write too little,
and only take exercise in the bedroom.

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Some folks have compared
the wait for your new novel

9
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to the decade-plus wait
for the new Guns n' Roses album.

10
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- How's the new book coming?
- Now, that's a hostile question.

11
00:00:34,163 --> 00:00:35,488
I got you a ticket.

12
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I hope that's fully refundable
because I ain't going.

13
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You're not going to your dad's funeral?

14
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He was a fucking asshole.

15
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You're not your father.

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Subtitles: swsub.com

17
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The white zone is for the immediate
loading and unloading of passengers.

18
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Holy shit!

19
00:01:02,681 --> 00:01:05,178
I was just about
to call the super shuttle.

20
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How are you? How was it?

21
00:01:10,868 --> 00:01:12,498
Too much, right? With the pelvis?

22
00:01:12,809 --> 00:01:16,404
I thought maybe I could get a little
half a grind there, but maybe not.

23
00:01:16,657 --> 00:01:18,741
I'm not here to pick you up,
but Bill.

24
00:01:18,914 --> 00:01:21,423
You don't think I saw
Bilbo Baggins in 1st class?

25
00:01:21,563 --> 00:01:23,478
He doesn't travel very light...

26
00:01:24,105 --> 00:01:27,354
Give the guy a break.
He's been away for a month.

27
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- A lot can happen in a month. A lot did.
- You shut up. Don't say a word.

28
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Don't hold back on my account, guys.

29
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- I'm not.
- Really?

30
00:01:44,981 --> 00:01:49,263
'cause if it was me, I would grab that
ass. I would grab it like I owned it.

31
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Especially after
such a prolonged absence.

32
00:01:51,656 --> 00:01:55,960
Would now be the appropriate time, Hank,
to say how sorry I am for your loss?

33
00:01:56,447 --> 00:02:00,716
It would have been more appropriate
3 h ago with a free drink and a sundae.

34
00:02:00,925 --> 00:02:02,851
What were you doing
with those hot towels?

35
00:02:03,039 --> 00:02:06,413
- You got a bad case of swamp ass?
- It must have been a very long flight.

36
00:02:06,673 --> 00:02:08,873
I think this is where
we should part company.

37
00:02:09,133 --> 00:02:11,915
- I see a cab with my name on it.
- Don't be ridiculous.

38
00:02:12,142 --> 00:02:15,834
- Bill, it's just a figure of speech.
- We'll give you a ride home.

39
00:02:16,027 --> 00:02:18,403
Really? That's mighty white of you.

40
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No, he loves cabs.
It reminds him of the big apple.

41
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There's no need to punish
the environment unnecessarily.

42
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- That, you will put out, of course.
- This, yeah. Of course, yeah.

43
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And... here.

44
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I got shotgun.

45
00:03:20,992 --> 00:03:22,231
No way, man.

46
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What the fuck is so great
about that $30 salad, anyway?

47
00:03:28,281 --> 00:03:30,939
Yeah, shit. Okay, yeah. Fine, whatever.

48
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That's fine. 8:00.

49
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You weren't cooking tonight?

50
00:03:35,642 --> 00:03:38,338
I've got to go to Koi
for the 400th fucking time.

51
00:03:39,609 --> 00:03:42,895
Sometimes, I'm surprised
I don't shit crispy rice with spicy tuna.

52
00:03:44,216 --> 00:03:47,582
I bring you something home?
Maybe some baked crab roll?

53
00:03:47,751 --> 00:03:51,142
We could eat it in bed while we watch
all those CSI Miamis I saved up.

54
00:03:51,402 --> 00:03:54,641
A little late-night snack
with your snack daddy?

55
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I'm good.

56
00:03:56,312 --> 00:03:59,471
I actually think
I might have a thing tonight.

57
00:04:01,980 --> 00:04:02,985
A thing?

58
00:04:03,385 --> 00:04:05,532
I'm thinking about going to book club.

59
00:04:06,925 --> 00:04:08,680
Well, you'll be home early, then.

60
00:04:09,224 --> 00:04:10,924
Earlyish, I guess.

61
00:04:11,778 --> 00:04:14,833
Why so curious all of a sudden?
You said you were going out tonight.

62
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I'm not. I'm not curious
all of a sudden.

63
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I happen to know
you fucking hate book club.

64
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When you commit to something,
you're supposed to stick with it.

65
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Sure.

66
00:04:29,325 --> 00:04:32,361
I guess I'll leave you to it, then.
See you later.

67
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Later.

68
00:05:32,262 --> 00:05:34,989
- Dad!
- That's my name. Don't wear it out.

69
00:05:37,639 --> 00:05:40,229
You guys. My God.
That was incredible.

70
00:05:40,491 --> 00:05:42,451
I want you to play that song
at the wedding.

71
00:05:42,658 --> 00:05:45,869
- Let's not get carried away.
- What? What do you mean?

72
00:05:46,141 --> 00:05:47,509
You're very, very good.

73
00:05:48,279 --> 00:05:52,347
I think if you give them some time,
they could bone up on some Supertramp.

74
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I don't get it.
You don't want them to play that song?

75
00:05:56,951 --> 00:06:00,146
No, I don't mean anything. I thought
we decided on the string quartet.

76
00:06:00,406 --> 00:06:01,356
Bill, what?

77
00:06:01,625 --> 00:06:02,867
Dan Fogelberg.

78
00:06:03,212 --> 00:06:05,173
And I think, perhaps...

79
00:06:05,579 --> 00:06:07,029
- Hey, Bec.
- Yes, posh.

80
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Our guests could use a beverage.

81
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Agreed.

82
00:06:11,792 --> 00:06:14,035
I don't want to get your hopes up, guys.

83
00:06:14,295 --> 00:06:16,305
But you keep rolling
with the marital discord,

84
00:06:16,445 --> 00:06:19,072
and I see you across from Oprah
on a big yellow couch.

85
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Fingers crossed.

86
00:06:25,208 --> 00:06:27,924
Okay, great.
Thank you. Are you coming up?

87
00:06:28,212 --> 00:06:29,541
No. Why?

88
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- For make up the sex.
- Are you fucking insane, Hank?

89
00:06:33,612 --> 00:06:35,902
Do the seats on this recline?

90
00:06:36,870 --> 00:06:39,659
Whatever sex we're gonna have,
we've had, okay?

91
00:06:40,011 --> 00:06:42,063
It's little late to play hard to get.

92
00:06:42,323 --> 00:06:44,807
We need to start acting
like we split up already.

93
00:06:44,996 --> 00:06:46,427
Let's just forget about it.

94
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Who could forget
such a knee-rattling orgasm?

95
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You were grieving.
I was co-grieving. It was a slip.

96
00:06:52,458 --> 00:06:55,076
I think you knocked something
loose down there, tiger.

97
00:06:56,026 --> 00:06:57,444
I wrote something.

98
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That's great, Hank.

99
00:07:01,962 --> 00:07:04,253
I don't think you heard me.
I wrote something.

100
00:07:04,417 --> 00:07:07,672
Not that blog shit. That's why
I was in New York for so long.

101
00:07:07,812 --> 00:07:10,153
I just sat down
at my mother's Old Smith Corona.

102
00:07:10,342 --> 00:07:14,679
I didn't get up for two weeks.
I got pages here, honey. Many pages.

103
00:07:14,939 --> 00:07:18,558
- It's rough, but it's something.
- Great. I wish you a lot of luck.

104
00:07:18,818 --> 00:07:21,811
You fucked it out of me, and now
you don't want to take responsibility?

105
00:07:22,071 --> 00:07:25,239
You know, fuck you.
I'm not that person anymore, okay.

106
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I'm not your fucking
sounding-board-Cum-security blanket.

107
00:07:29,078 --> 00:07:31,137
You're not in the least bit interested?

108
00:07:31,306 --> 00:07:34,240
- Yes, of course.
- Fine, then it's settled. There it is.

109
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I'm not taking no for an answer.

110
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I'm sure it's very good.
I'm sure it's excellent.

111
00:07:39,797 --> 00:07:43,182
Most likely, it's a piece of crap.
I won't know until you tell me.

112
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'cause that's the way it goes.
I give it to you, and you tell me.

113
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I don't see the difference between
the ridiculous and the sublime

114
00:07:49,549 --> 00:07:51,961
until you tell me.
Now, be careful with that.

115
00:07:52,310 --> 00:07:53,926
You've got my life there in your hands.

116
00:07:54,186 --> 00:07:57,346
This is just words, you know.
It's words, okay. Take it.

117
00:07:57,906 --> 00:08:00,141
Well, words is all I have left
to play with.

118
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So be gentle.

119
00:08:02,278 --> 00:08:05,215
Please tell Becca
to expect a gentleman caller.

120
00:08:05,489 --> 00:08:07,106
Hank, please, take this.

121
00:08:07,371 --> 00:08:10,147
Honestly, thank you. Smell you later.

122
00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:12,405
Fuck.

123
00:08:41,616 --> 00:08:43,823
Say it! Say it! Say it! Say it!

124
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- Okay, you're a good agent.
- That's right, motherfucker!

125
00:08:47,406 --> 00:08:50,871
If it hadn't been for me putting
that little clause in your contract,

126
00:08:51,011 --> 00:08:53,402
then you wouldn't be holding
that big, fat wad of cash.

127
00:08:53,662 --> 00:08:55,960
Yeah, fucking blood money is what it is.

128
00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:57,907
Who the fuck cares what it is?

129
00:08:58,167 --> 00:09:00,131
Thanks to
the aggressively mediocre taste

130
00:09:00,271 --> 00:09:03,412
of the American movie going public,
you now get to reap the benefits.

131
00:09:03,746 --> 00:09:05,967
Bonus time, baby. Treat yourself.

132
00:09:06,312 --> 00:09:07,779
Treat myself?

133
00:09:08,254 --> 00:09:10,711
- Get yourself a new car.
- I don't want a new car.

134
00:09:10,971 --> 00:09:12,713
I like my old one. It's got character.

135
00:09:12,973 --> 00:09:16,972
If by that, you mean lady juice in every
nook and cranny of the upholstery,

136
00:09:17,112 --> 00:09:18,803
then, yes, you're totally right.

137
00:09:19,063 --> 00:09:21,472
- That explains a lot, actually.
- Get it washed then.

138
00:09:21,732 --> 00:09:23,771
Now you could probably
even get yourself

139
00:09:23,911 --> 00:09:26,185
one of those little
prepaid coupon booklets.

140
00:09:26,445 --> 00:09:28,891
You put it in the glove compartment.
That's how I roll.

141
00:09:29,148 --> 00:09:31,639
- That's how you roll?
- That's how I roll, baby.

142
00:09:31,779 --> 00:09:34,207
I did purchase
what is commonly referred to

143
00:09:34,414 --> 00:09:37,100
by the kids as a big-ticket item.

144
00:09:37,964 --> 00:09:39,297
What'd be that?

145
00:09:42,894 --> 00:09:45,547
OK. I'm getting a bad feeling here.

146
00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:48,541
- Why is that?
- I'm thinking you intend to give that

147
00:09:48,801 --> 00:09:51,127
to someone who might already be engaged.

148
00:09:51,387 --> 00:09:54,410
- That's the plan, motherfucker.
- Don't do this to yourself, Hank.

149
00:09:54,950 --> 00:09:57,133
Come on, Charlie.
Don't do what to myself?

150
00:09:57,393 --> 00:09:59,427
Give up what I want?
I've done the research.

151
00:09:59,687 --> 00:10:01,920
Karen and I belong together.
And I feel good.

152
00:10:02,090 --> 00:10:05,505
Lately... just the past little while,
things are looking up for me.

153
00:10:05,645 --> 00:10:07,476
I feel a change. I wrote something.

154
00:10:07,812 --> 00:10:08,818
Wait.

155
00:10:09,383 --> 00:10:10,390
You what?

156
00:10:12,984 --> 00:10:14,835
You wrote something? Okay.

157
00:10:16,376 --> 00:10:18,693
I've dreamed
about this moment, alright,

158
00:10:18,919 --> 00:10:21,236
the one where you come to me,
pages in hand.

159
00:10:21,443 --> 00:10:24,202
You say, "please read this."
I do, and it's fucking genius.

160
00:10:24,492 --> 00:10:28,919
I sell it, we both get back on track,
and we live happily ever fucking after.

161
00:10:29,345 --> 00:10:31,195
Fuck me. No pressure there.

162
00:10:31,335 --> 00:10:33,794
What is it? A screenplay?
A short story? What?

163
00:10:34,054 --> 00:10:36,255
No more screenplays for me.
It's a novel.

164
00:10:37,412 --> 00:10:41,214
It's a short novel. It's a modern-day
answer to "Lolita," really.

165
00:10:41,421 --> 00:10:44,982
You know, an older man
unwittingly beds an underage girl.

166
00:10:45,274 --> 00:10:48,072
It unravels his life completely.
High jinks ensue.

167
00:10:48,212 --> 00:10:50,849
Broner. You gave me a broner.

168
00:10:51,245 --> 00:10:53,095
Where is it? Let me read it!

169
00:10:53,365 --> 00:10:55,066
Dani, cancel my lunch!

170
00:10:55,326 --> 00:10:57,777
I gave it to Karen.
She reads all my stuff first.

171
00:10:58,037 --> 00:11:01,800
So? Slip me a copy. I promise
I won't read it till after she's done.

172
00:11:01,988 --> 00:11:04,639
That's the only one.
I went old-school this time.

173
00:11:04,779 --> 00:11:06,702
I hunted and pecked
like a motherfucker.

174
00:11:06,962 --> 00:11:08,906
Whatever.
This is great fucking news!

175
00:11:09,075 --> 00:11:12,867
I'm not so sure, Charlie.
I mean, you know, most likely, it sucks.

176
00:11:13,017 --> 00:11:16,238
Well, that's where I come in.
I'll sell the shit out of it.

177
00:11:16,548 --> 00:11:19,224
By the time I get through spinning,
nobody will be able to tell

178
00:11:19,642 --> 00:11:22,551
if it's a piece of shit or the work
of staggering genius.

179
00:11:22,878 --> 00:11:24,428
There's a difference?

180
00:11:53,842 --> 00:11:54,842
Hi.

181
00:11:55,830 --> 00:11:57,314
Leave me alone.

182
00:11:58,084 --> 00:12:00,100
- A hostile...
- No, I'm browsing.

183
00:12:00,326 --> 00:12:03,926
If I have any questions, I'll ask you.
Now, shoo, you little parasite, you.

184
00:12:05,896 --> 00:12:07,930
- She's still coming...
- What do you do?

185
00:12:08,658 --> 00:12:11,362
- I'm a writer.
- Oh, yeah? Movies? TV?

186
00:12:12,094 --> 00:12:15,146
Books. Novels. The occasional haiku.

187
00:12:16,379 --> 00:12:19,013
Alright, well, let me know
if you have any questions.

188
00:12:19,285 --> 00:12:20,651
What the fuck was that?

189
00:12:21,405 --> 00:12:23,703
- What?
- You think I can't afford

190
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:26,490
this penile implant on wheels,
so you're done with me.

191
00:12:26,764 --> 00:12:28,836
- I didn't say that.
- You didn't have to.

192
00:12:29,024 --> 00:12:30,286
Guy's got feelings.

193
00:12:33,117 --> 00:12:35,166
This one. I want to drive this one.

194
00:12:39,271 --> 00:12:41,476
- Let me get the keys.
- Please.

195
00:12:43,089 --> 00:12:45,259
- I love L.A.
- So, what do you think?

196
00:12:45,957 --> 00:12:48,185
- It's really clean.
- That's it?

197
00:12:48,731 --> 00:12:51,672
This is one of the finest automobiles
the world has to offer.

198
00:12:51,812 --> 00:12:53,100
I'm not a big car guy.

199
00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:56,630
I think if I got to open it up
past, like, 7 mph,

200
00:12:56,812 --> 00:12:58,796
I might really fall in love with it.

201
00:12:59,065 --> 00:13:02,105
Will you get off that fucking phone
before I stuff it up your ass?

202
00:13:02,245 --> 00:13:05,519
- Hey, buddy!
- What, are you kidding me?

203
00:13:06,145 --> 00:13:08,115
I kid you not, sir. Shame on you.

204
00:13:08,394 --> 00:13:10,444
Mind your own fucking business.

205
00:13:10,672 --> 00:13:12,593
You don't wanna be that guy.
Look at her!

206
00:13:12,801 --> 00:13:15,956
She's perfect. She's drop-dead.
She's firecrackers on the 4th!

207
00:13:16,263 --> 00:13:18,584
You'll never do better, but she can.
You see?

208
00:13:23,059 --> 00:13:24,547
So, tell me something.

209
00:13:25,834 --> 00:13:29,075
What do I have to do
to get you into this car?

210
00:13:30,891 --> 00:13:32,982
Well, let's talk about the extras.

211
00:13:48,853 --> 00:13:52,076
I like the BMW, too, though.
No, I like it. It's roomy.

212
00:13:52,675 --> 00:13:54,860
It's leather! Leather!

213
00:14:03,412 --> 00:14:05,262
Hey, honey, your dad's here!

214
00:14:08,178 --> 00:14:11,019
- What the fuck is that?
- Just ignore that.

215
00:14:11,328 --> 00:14:13,178
It's hard. It's very shiny.

216
00:14:13,565 --> 00:14:14,938
- What about that?
- What?

217
00:14:15,125 --> 00:14:18,394
Any thoughts? Notes?
Did the kool-aid still taste as sweet?

218
00:14:18,654 --> 00:14:22,203
Shall I turn around so you can
blow smoke up my ass more easily?

219
00:14:22,397 --> 00:14:25,947
- You wanna fuck me 'cause I'm a genius?
- I didn't have time, sorry.

220
00:14:26,479 --> 00:14:29,039
- I really am.
- No, don't be sorry. I mean...

221
00:14:30,707 --> 00:14:32,908
I just thought you'd be more intrigued.

222
00:14:33,221 --> 00:14:34,985
No, I am intrigued.

223
00:14:35,155 --> 00:14:37,328
- I'm also kind of...
- Horny?

224
00:14:39,617 --> 00:14:43,912
No, what? Like you? Like 23 hours a day?
Like some rutting moose, no.

225
00:14:44,596 --> 00:14:47,339
The Billdo is back in black,
and you're not warm for his form.

226
00:14:47,599 --> 00:14:49,467
That shit tells me something.

227
00:14:49,727 --> 00:14:52,810
I'll just grab the Becca.
You have things to read.

228
00:14:53,129 --> 00:14:55,223
It's even more phallic
than the last one.

229
00:14:55,524 --> 00:14:58,016
- You like?
- I liked the old one better.

230
00:14:58,534 --> 00:15:01,760
It had character...
And a funky smell.

231
00:15:02,547 --> 00:15:04,974
- Where are we going?
- It's a surprise.

232
00:15:05,935 --> 00:15:08,297
I suggest you brew
one of your special teas,

233
00:15:08,504 --> 00:15:11,388
settle into a backbreaking piece
of modern furniture,

234
00:15:11,528 --> 00:15:13,776
and curl up with your favorite author.

235
00:15:14,042 --> 00:15:16,785
A Martin Amis, or a Virginia Woolf
or a Charles Bukowksi?

236
00:15:17,056 --> 00:15:18,394
Imposters, all.

237
00:15:30,140 --> 00:15:31,450
Whatever I want?

238
00:15:32,366 --> 00:15:33,779
Whatever you want.

239
00:15:34,482 --> 00:15:36,347
The possibilities are endless.

240
00:15:36,517 --> 00:15:39,316
Go with something classic and timeless,

241
00:15:39,579 --> 00:15:43,335
something that looks like Keith Richards
might have throw up on it at some point,

242
00:15:44,017 --> 00:15:48,350
something that would make Jon Bon Jovi
quake in his acid-washed jeans.

243
00:15:49,495 --> 00:15:50,663
Like that one?

244
00:15:51,077 --> 00:15:52,565
This blue one? Yeah.

245
00:15:53,255 --> 00:15:57,305
- Hey, man. Is Dave around, man?
- No, he's on vacation.

246
00:15:59,296 --> 00:16:02,298
- You need some help?
- No, he's an old friend of mine.

247
00:16:02,505 --> 00:16:05,167
I just figured he could help me
with some cash.

248
00:16:06,557 --> 00:16:07,419
Bummer.

249
00:16:10,974 --> 00:16:12,466
Come on, pretty girl.

250
00:16:14,812 --> 00:16:15,776
Father?

251
00:16:16,551 --> 00:16:17,551
Offspring?

252
00:16:18,632 --> 00:16:20,327
That was a nice guitar.

253
00:16:20,533 --> 00:16:24,283
Yes. Sometimes, it's best not to get
involved in the affairs of others.

254
00:16:24,751 --> 00:16:26,201
That's interesting,

255
00:16:26,415 --> 00:16:28,732
coming from
the most intrusive man I know.

256
00:16:32,447 --> 00:16:33,691
Hey, excuse me!

257
00:16:35,374 --> 00:16:37,782
That's a beautiful fiddle
you've got there.

258
00:16:38,059 --> 00:16:40,161
- Yeah?
- Yeah, how much you want for it?

259
00:16:40,381 --> 00:16:42,653
- It's worth a lot, man.
- Yeah, I'll bet.

260
00:16:42,911 --> 00:16:45,291
I can put it on EBay
and get over 10 grand, easy.

261
00:16:45,551 --> 00:16:47,713
Yeah, how much you want for it?

262
00:16:48,312 --> 00:16:51,545
- I'd take a grand.
- You said it's worth 10 at least, no?

263
00:16:51,765 --> 00:16:54,883
Yeah, well... you gotta do
what you gotta do, man.

264
00:16:55,194 --> 00:16:56,510
Yeah, I hear that.

265
00:17:00,557 --> 00:17:01,807
How about 13.5?

266
00:17:02,067 --> 00:17:05,653
- Come on, man. Don't fuck with me.
- I'm a couple hundred short.

267
00:17:05,879 --> 00:17:08,780
If you give me your address,
I can send you a check.

268
00:17:15,195 --> 00:17:17,300
Don't worry about it.
Just play it in good health.

269
00:17:17,541 --> 00:17:18,768
Thank you.

270
00:17:21,003 --> 00:17:23,132
My lady, your ax awaits.

271
00:17:24,132 --> 00:17:25,963
- You're a good daughter.
- My hair.

272
00:17:26,205 --> 00:17:27,562
Sorry. Come on.

273
00:17:36,204 --> 00:17:37,760
I have a confession to make.

274
00:17:38,899 --> 00:17:41,262
- Yes?
- You know what you said earlier

275
00:17:41,534 --> 00:17:44,475
about not wanting Becca
to play at the wedding?

276
00:17:45,778 --> 00:17:47,794
Bill, that really bothered me.

277
00:17:48,086 --> 00:17:50,294
Sorry. I didn't mean anything by it.

278
00:17:50,502 --> 00:17:53,192
I just don't want our wedding
to be some big joke.

279
00:17:53,456 --> 00:17:56,662
I don't want it to be
some kind of adults-only affair,

280
00:17:56,850 --> 00:18:00,034
you know, all stuffy.
I want it to be fun and whimsical

281
00:18:00,241 --> 00:18:02,954
and something
we're gonna remember forever.

282
00:18:03,253 --> 00:18:07,593
Alright, I hear you.
Maybe Becca can learn some...

283
00:18:08,691 --> 00:18:11,640
Van Morrison.
There's nothing that makes this man cry

284
00:18:11,929 --> 00:18:13,754
like a little "Brown eyed girl."

285
00:18:14,061 --> 00:18:15,964
That's definitely a compromise.

286
00:18:18,991 --> 00:18:20,803
There's something else
I want to tell...

287
00:18:21,206 --> 00:18:23,327
One second! One second...

288
00:18:26,171 --> 00:18:28,639
- Hi, Bill.
- "Dad" or "daddy," please.

289
00:18:29,219 --> 00:18:30,744
- Hey.
- Hey.

290
00:18:30,911 --> 00:18:34,226
- What's this?
- It's Hank's new book.

291
00:18:34,649 --> 00:18:37,670
Hank wrote a new book?
Well, fuck me running!

292
00:18:38,637 --> 00:18:40,469
Sorry. Can I read it?

293
00:18:42,085 --> 00:18:44,279
I don't think that's appropriate.

294
00:18:44,582 --> 00:18:45,648
Well, is it good?

295
00:18:46,721 --> 00:18:48,998
- I haven't read it yet.
- Why not?

296
00:18:50,801 --> 00:18:51,959
What is this?

297
00:18:58,936 --> 00:19:02,094
- Oh, my god. How did you even
- Well, I remembered you saying

298
00:19:02,354 --> 00:19:04,826
how much you liked
the view from your dorm room so...

299
00:19:05,372 --> 00:19:08,074
I convinced these
lovely little N.Y.U co-eds

300
00:19:08,214 --> 00:19:10,208
to let me take
a picture from their dorm room,

301
00:19:10,348 --> 00:19:12,813
which, once upon a time,
was your dorm room.

302
00:19:14,181 --> 00:19:15,288
You're just adorable.

303
00:19:15,575 --> 00:19:16,817
Well, I try.

304
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:22,310
Now, what was it you wanted to tell me?

305
00:19:24,028 --> 00:19:25,180
Oh, nothing.

306
00:19:25,735 --> 00:19:27,798
No, nothing.
Come here. Come here.

307
00:19:35,410 --> 00:19:38,218
Get that sweet, little hairless
ass of yours downstairs!

308
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:42,837
- We've got some celebrating to do!
- Hey, I thought you had a dinner.

309
00:19:42,977 --> 00:19:45,193
I did. I bailed at the last second.

310
00:19:45,651 --> 00:19:47,701
I wanted to see you.

311
00:19:48,333 --> 00:19:49,223
Why?

312
00:19:50,027 --> 00:19:52,019
I need an excuse to see my wife
all of a sudden?

313
00:19:52,291 --> 00:19:55,271
No, it's just --
What is there to celebrate?

314
00:19:55,587 --> 00:19:57,428
Hank wrote something.

315
00:19:58,821 --> 00:20:01,158
Well, kudos to Hank. He's a writer.

316
00:20:01,538 --> 00:20:02,847
This is a big deal, sweetie.

317
00:20:02,987 --> 00:20:05,372
This is like the return of old Hank.

318
00:20:05,528 --> 00:20:07,868
Or I don't know.
Maybe it's the new Hank.

319
00:20:08,531 --> 00:20:11,654
But the guy,
he came into my office today

320
00:20:11,848 --> 00:20:15,484
with a giant engagement ring
he bought for Karen.

321
00:20:15,761 --> 00:20:17,628
What? What are you talking about?

322
00:20:17,888 --> 00:20:20,197
The only thing I could think
when I saw it was, "hope".

323
00:20:20,438 --> 00:20:21,441
Baby, hope.

324
00:20:22,147 --> 00:20:26,180
Things have been just really fucked-up
around here. You know it, too, right?

325
00:20:26,358 --> 00:20:28,388
Ever since, well, the nipple incident.

326
00:20:29,223 --> 00:20:30,863
Or, actually, before then.

327
00:20:31,109 --> 00:20:33,349
But the thing I realize now is

328
00:20:33,581 --> 00:20:36,456
that I was
just really depressed, you know.

329
00:20:36,654 --> 00:20:38,846
If Hank can get his shit together,
so can I.

330
00:20:39,035 --> 00:20:42,195
- and that's exactly what I'm gonna do.
- Good for you, Charlie.

331
00:20:43,524 --> 00:20:45,916
And I want you to know, baby,
that I'm sorry.

332
00:20:47,611 --> 00:20:48,664
For what?

333
00:20:49,499 --> 00:20:51,590
For letting us get
to a place in our lives

334
00:20:51,798 --> 00:20:55,165
where we thought we needed a threesome
to get ourselves back on track.

335
00:20:55,505 --> 00:20:57,249
You don't have to apologize for that.

336
00:20:57,391 --> 00:20:59,536
Yes, I do, because it is just not right.

337
00:20:59,736 --> 00:21:01,305
I want you to know...

338
00:21:01,746 --> 00:21:03,482
That you are all I need, baby.

339
00:21:04,766 --> 00:21:06,299
You're right, Charlie.

340
00:21:06,545 --> 00:21:08,950
Things have changed since nipple-gate.

341
00:21:09,507 --> 00:21:12,266
Yes, and I want to go right back
where we were before.

342
00:21:13,698 --> 00:21:15,994
Yeah, I don't think that's possible.

343
00:21:16,279 --> 00:21:17,392
Good. Me, too.

344
00:21:18,212 --> 00:21:20,357
Or -- wait. What?
You -- what? You don't?

345
00:21:22,335 --> 00:21:23,879
The thing with your teat

346
00:21:24,134 --> 00:21:25,925
made things very clear to me.

347
00:21:26,206 --> 00:21:28,448
The morning after
our ill-fated threesome,

348
00:21:28,714 --> 00:21:29,715
I woke up,

349
00:21:29,883 --> 00:21:32,870
and the only thing
I wanted to do was call Dani.

350
00:21:33,130 --> 00:21:35,914
Now, I don't know if that
makes me a fucking rug-muncher.

351
00:21:37,628 --> 00:21:39,719
But that sweet, little Goth nutjob

352
00:21:39,911 --> 00:21:42,942
makes this girl want to
put her finger in the dike.

353
00:21:44,426 --> 00:21:45,615
What are you saying?

354
00:21:50,105 --> 00:21:51,763
What the fuck?

355
00:21:52,495 --> 00:21:54,709
Oh, we were watching Bound just now.

356
00:21:54,921 --> 00:21:56,810
You're right. That shit is hot.

357
00:21:57,070 --> 00:21:58,979
You do have quite a movie collection.

358
00:21:59,243 --> 00:22:00,350
And quite a wife.

359
00:22:03,913 --> 00:22:05,239
You're fired, missy.

360
00:22:05,481 --> 00:22:06,793
Too late, boss.

361
00:22:07,011 --> 00:22:09,291
I think it's time I moved on
to a new desk.

362
00:22:10,775 --> 00:22:13,827
- Maybe I'll even be an agent someday.
- I know about everything.

363
00:22:14,087 --> 00:22:17,122
I know about the "s" and "m"
and the light "b" and "d".

364
00:22:17,539 --> 00:22:19,917
And I'm not mad. I'm just kind of sad.

365
00:22:20,346 --> 00:22:23,278
And sexually awakened.
I think we should go out there

366
00:22:23,418 --> 00:22:25,505
and fuck all the people we never fucked.

367
00:22:25,970 --> 00:22:28,562
Let's just rock out with our cocks out!

368
00:22:28,921 --> 00:22:31,841
Carpe motherfucking diem, baby!

369
00:22:35,183 --> 00:22:36,953
What if I don't want to...

370
00:22:37,903 --> 00:22:39,679
rock out with my cock out?

371
00:22:50,598 --> 00:22:51,800
What is that?

372
00:22:52,541 --> 00:22:54,618
What about the guitar Bill got you?

373
00:22:54,934 --> 00:22:56,423
This one's special.

374
00:22:57,203 --> 00:22:58,992
Timeless. Classic.

375
00:22:59,953 --> 00:23:02,946
It looks like Keith Richards
threw up on it back in the '70s.

376
00:23:03,133 --> 00:23:04,514
"Back in the '70s."

377
00:23:04,804 --> 00:23:06,046
Thanks, dad.

378
00:23:06,306 --> 00:23:08,172
You're welcome. Now go practice.

379
00:23:08,312 --> 00:23:11,139
Extra loud so you
annoy the neighbors and Bill.

380
00:23:11,331 --> 00:23:13,136
I've got to talk to your mom.

381
00:23:20,306 --> 00:23:22,189
A chill just ran up my sack.

382
00:23:22,558 --> 00:23:25,370
Hold on a second.
I've got to prepare myself.

383
00:23:26,088 --> 00:23:27,126
Yeah, me too.

384
00:23:30,419 --> 00:23:32,374
Okay, just like old times.

385
00:23:32,666 --> 00:23:35,083
Give it to me straight. I want it all.

386
00:23:35,329 --> 00:23:36,343
Here we go.

387
00:23:38,435 --> 00:23:39,514
Lay it on me.

388
00:23:39,745 --> 00:23:40,907
Brutal truth.

389
00:23:42,594 --> 00:23:43,600
I can't.

390
00:23:43,900 --> 00:23:45,612
You love ripping me to shreds.

391
00:23:45,819 --> 00:23:48,626
It's not as much fun
when I give you permission?

392
00:23:50,002 --> 00:23:51,336
Look at me.

393
00:23:55,474 --> 00:23:57,018
You didn't read it.

394
00:23:58,519 --> 00:23:59,808
You didn't fucking read it.

395
00:24:00,335 --> 00:24:01,893
I can't read it, Hank.

396
00:24:06,798 --> 00:24:07,798
Why not?

397
00:24:08,379 --> 00:24:11,298
Because... I can't go back.

398
00:24:12,569 --> 00:24:14,797
That part of my life is over now.

399
00:24:17,336 --> 00:24:21,363
There are a number of things going
through my mind to say to you right now,

400
00:24:21,589 --> 00:24:23,634
but only one is coming to the forefront.

401
00:24:23,785 --> 00:24:25,001
And that is...

402
00:24:26,689 --> 00:24:29,421
- Fuck, we had the sex, Karen.
- Shut the fuck up!

403
00:24:29,681 --> 00:24:31,985
Shutting me up is not
gonna make it any less true.

404
00:24:32,239 --> 00:24:34,871
You know what?
That was a onetime thing, okay?

405
00:24:35,147 --> 00:24:37,443
It's done. I mean, I don't regret it.

406
00:24:37,873 --> 00:24:40,348
Why would you?
You came, like, three times?

407
00:24:41,173 --> 00:24:42,954
Hank, now I regret it, okay?

408
00:24:43,241 --> 00:24:44,745
Now I do regret it.

409
00:24:53,855 --> 00:24:56,206
Hank, the fact that you wrote this
is fucking incredible

410
00:24:56,357 --> 00:24:57,895
I'm so proud of you.

411
00:24:58,228 --> 00:25:02,286
And I'm so glad that you have finally
opened a new chapter in your life.

412
00:25:02,429 --> 00:25:06,354
And it's here, and it's great.
You have to do it on your own, okay?

413
00:25:11,522 --> 00:25:13,107
What if I don't want to?

414
00:25:16,914 --> 00:25:20,358
What if I want to go back
and do it all over again?

415
00:25:22,104 --> 00:25:23,293
Only this time...

416
00:25:24,817 --> 00:25:26,959
Not make the same mistakes.
This time...

417
00:25:27,162 --> 00:25:28,063
do it better.

418
00:25:30,577 --> 00:25:32,224
This time, do it right.

419
00:25:33,776 --> 00:25:34,664
With...

420
00:25:35,303 --> 00:25:36,148
jewelry.

421
00:25:38,690 --> 00:25:41,075
I don't love you anymore.

422
00:25:42,519 --> 00:25:43,646
I love Bill.

423
00:25:44,668 --> 00:25:46,239
I'm gonna marry Bill.

424
00:25:46,576 --> 00:25:48,699
And I really need you
to respect that.

425
00:25:53,973 --> 00:25:55,558
I'm a fucking asshole.

426
00:26:05,643 --> 00:26:07,429
I'm a motherfucking asshole.

427
00:26:23,878 --> 00:26:26,621
Do you know how
to get to the 45 from here?

428
00:26:26,881 --> 00:26:27,926
On foot?

429
00:26:30,626 --> 00:26:32,416
You could walk over to Lincoln.

430
00:26:32,613 --> 00:26:36,361
Get the fuck out of the car,
motherfucker! Get out of the car!

431
00:26:38,316 --> 00:26:41,161
- Get out of the car!
- Get the fuck out now!

432
00:26:42,583 --> 00:26:44,542
Come on! Get in, let's go!

433
00:26:45,574 --> 00:26:46,585
Shut the fuck up!


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