But I thought in my head, "At least black women value black men. It's becoming rare to see the reverse. My boyfriend had said lightheartedly, "I hope our son has my hair. But my heart sank. What did he mean? I am known for being sensitive, so I asked. He said, "Courtney, I see you struggle with your hair, and I think it would be nice if he had my curly hair. You wouldn't want him to have coarse hair if you could help it. It would be easier to manage if his hair was curly was all I'm saying.
What was he trying to say about my hair? Everywhere from pop culture to the hood, men are either consciously or subconsciously telling black women they aren't "wanted. Why are rap songs all about white women? If you think I'm wrong, listen to your music and get back to me. Granted, I think everyone is entitled to a personal preference regarding whom they like. But when, as a black man, you start saying things such as, "I don't date black women; I don't find them attractive," I think we have an issue.
Even Psychology Today published an article about black women being unattractive. It's since been taken down. Black men, your mom is black. Your sisters are black. Your favorite aunt is black. Do you think they're all unattractive? As I've gotten older, I've met many men who will openly say they don't want a baby with a black woman. They want a baby with "light skin or light eyes and good hair. Black men, if you don't support us, how do you expect us to be able to support you?
Do you even want us to anymore? I never understood why it makes a certain type of black man feel good to have a white woman on his arm. It would be one thing if it were true love, but some are just doing it because they see it as a prize. Even on social media, my heart will sink as I see black women I've known from high school or elementary school now say they're "black and Filipino," "black and Puerto Rican," "black and [whatever race]" -- just don't say you're fully black!
It seems these women have been conditioned to think they're not worthy if they're "just black. From the way I spoke on the phone to the way I "act," I have been dubbed the "whitest black girl" everywhere from my hometown to a city close to the Canadian border Syracuse, what, what! The point of this is that I don't have an attitude problem, nor am I ghetto.
I will get an attitude over normal things, like any woman would. I have friends of many backgrounds, and I've seen Asian women, Caucasian women and Latina women all get an attitude mind-blowing, right? My dad would make arroz con pollo on Monday night. But he made escargot for the appetizer, and on Tuesday nights he linguine in a white wine clam sauce. In high school, I had blue in my hair and listened to punk and jazz. I was called a gringa.
I was never Puerto Rican enough. I never understood why so many of my Puerto Rican peers not to be confused with friends While some people cling to their culture in a death grip so tight they stifle themselves, there white woman dating a puerto rican man others who are always curious about what's out there. Those are the guys I like. The guys that can make a stir-fry food one day, hamburgers the next day, and New England clam chowder the day after that.
The guys like an ex of mine from Michigan, who, 10 years after we dated, still calls me to tell me he made some Puerto Rican or Cuban dish I taught him how to make back when we were 19 and in college. A Chinese-Jamaican friend of mine once said to me, "It didn't occur to me until I was older that when I was a little girl and someone would tell me a story, the default person I pictured in my head was white, never Chinese or even Jamaican.
I get that white woman dating a puerto rican man mom worries I'll lose best single parents dating sites heritage in being with a white man, and I get that the downtown community where my friend of the family lives worries he'll lose list of asian dating site heritage in being with a Puerto Rican woman.
But, ultimately, if we're ever going to really see color lines erased, we need to let go of our pride and our culture just a little, not just to experience that of others, but to share our culture with others, too. Don't let anyone ever tell you can't date someone because they're outside your race, heritage, or culture. Like what you like. Culture is supposed to enhance us, not hold us back. In the U. Supreme Court ruled that laws barring white woman dating a puerto rican man between blacks and whites were unconstitutional.
According to Loving v. Virginia, The Changing Nature of Interracial Marriage in Georgia: A Research Note"there was a percent increase in the number of interracial marriages from 21 in to in Four percent of Americans approved of black-white marriages.
Why I (usually) date white guys
George Lopez Follow Up: Should Black Women Date Latino Men?
I learned something from that………. He sat behind me white woman dating a puerto rican man nearly our entire grammar school career. He was tall and soft spoken. It was easy enough to get over Jessie, we had our ways of communicating with each other when we needed or wanted to, while Black boys would deny they knew you let alone gave a dam about you. I floated on that cloud for a long dam time. But not before I made him my first kiss. Eighth grade graduation parties are way more interesting when Spin the Bottle is played. Brown, and I attempted to cheer him up by taking my braids and tying them under my chin into a bow and crossing my eyes at him, fussed, my heart swoled up in my chest and popped. I knew we were doomed back in first grade, though, others arrived for kindergarten and had been friends even longer, support and friendship and throwing candy across the room when the teacher turned her back was what made school interesting and bearable? But not before I made him my first kiss.