Субтитры - сезон 1, серия 2

1
00:00:01,089 --> 00:00:03,123
- So, Hank.
- Meredith.

2
00:00:03,383 --> 00:00:05,151
- You're a writer.
- A great writer.

3
00:00:05,347 --> 00:00:07,478
You know what the worst thing is?
You're not writing.

4
00:00:07,625 --> 00:00:10,703
- Are you familiar with Hell-A Magazine?
- Hell, no.

5
00:00:10,843 --> 00:00:13,342
They would like you to blog for them.

6
00:00:13,563 --> 00:00:14,675
Do you have a gun?

7
00:00:14,836 --> 00:00:17,693
You're out there sticking your dick
in anything that moves.

8
00:00:18,815 --> 00:00:20,812
- My name is Hank.
- I know.

9
00:00:25,631 --> 00:00:27,475
- Who did she go with?
- Bill's daughter.

10
00:00:27,606 --> 00:00:28,817
I didn't know he had one.

11
00:00:28,939 --> 00:00:30,238
- How old is she?
- 16.

12
00:00:30,410 --> 00:00:31,927
This is Mia, Bill's daughter.

13
00:00:32,067 --> 00:00:33,618
And this is Hank.

14
00:00:34,019 --> 00:00:36,272
- You two know each other?
- No.

15
00:00:36,625 --> 00:00:37,825
- I need you, baby.
- No.

16
00:00:38,745 --> 00:00:40,369
Hank, I'm getting married.

17
00:00:42,213 --> 00:00:44,326
Don't marry him. Marry me.

18
00:00:50,610 --> 00:00:51,728
I hate you.

19
00:00:53,075 --> 00:00:57,845
Subtitles : swsub.com (1.00)

20
00:01:09,666 --> 00:01:11,422
What are you thinking about?

21
00:01:12,552 --> 00:01:15,529
I'm thinking about how much
I absolutely fucking loathe this city.

22
00:01:17,413 --> 00:01:21,118
Just as I was thinking about
how much I absolutely love it.

23
00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:24,955
Meanwhile, I haven't written
a goddamn word since we got here.

24
00:01:25,515 --> 00:01:26,748
You need to relax.

25
00:01:27,993 --> 00:01:29,751
I just miss New York, honey.

26
00:01:30,567 --> 00:01:34,548
You know, and I miss you,
because you're still there,

27
00:01:34,808 --> 00:01:36,773
in that big, thick head of yours.

28
00:01:37,672 --> 00:01:39,034
Come back to us, Hank.

29
00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:41,279
Your girls miss you.

30
00:01:51,753 --> 00:01:52,941
Who are you talking to?

31
00:01:54,336 --> 00:01:55,402
Nobody.

32
00:01:55,662 --> 00:01:57,654
- Professional hazard.
- What do you do?

33
00:01:59,183 --> 00:02:00,282
I'm a writer.

34
00:02:01,145 --> 00:02:02,451
Non practicing.

35
00:02:03,803 --> 00:02:05,245
I've got something you could read.

36
00:02:16,414 --> 00:02:18,217
I think you have potential.

37
00:03:22,893 --> 00:03:24,533
- Hank.
- Bob.

38
00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:26,200
- Bill.
- Really?

39
00:03:26,670 --> 00:03:29,231
- Becca doesn't want to see you.
- You looking for a cock punch?

40
00:03:29,389 --> 00:03:31,410
- Let me talk to her.
- Trust me, as the father

41
00:03:31,570 --> 00:03:32,674
of a teenage daughter,

42
00:03:32,815 --> 00:03:34,883
just give her some space.
She'll come around.

43
00:03:35,884 --> 00:03:38,790
- You know something, Bill, is it?
- Yep. Still Bill.

44
00:03:38,930 --> 00:03:41,266
Well, I appreciate
the parenting advice, but maybe,

45
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:44,205
just maybe, giving them too much space
is not such a good idea.

46
00:03:44,346 --> 00:03:46,893
Maybe too much space
is actually the root of the problem.

47
00:03:47,033 --> 00:03:48,974
Hank, please... My daughter is 16,

48
00:03:49,234 --> 00:03:52,060
and she's an angel.
Clearly I'm doing something right.

49
00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:54,021
- You poor bastard.
- Excuse me?

50
00:03:54,281 --> 00:03:55,530
- Homo says what?
- What?

51
00:03:55,670 --> 00:03:56,796
Gotcha.

52
00:03:59,033 --> 00:04:00,543
What the fuck is that?

53
00:04:01,361 --> 00:04:03,338
You like it?
I could've bought a car instead.

54
00:04:03,478 --> 00:04:05,071
I think you should still buy the car

55
00:04:05,235 --> 00:04:07,075
and then run over
whoever created that turd.

56
00:04:07,768 --> 00:04:09,694
Everything okay here, boys?

57
00:04:10,171 --> 00:04:12,131
- It's all good.
- It's all good?

58
00:04:12,319 --> 00:04:13,573
That's kind of a hip lingo.

59
00:04:14,049 --> 00:04:15,083
"It's all good.

60
00:04:15,463 --> 00:04:16,463
"It's all good."

61
00:04:16,807 --> 00:04:18,953
Yeah, that's what they say, the kids.

62
00:04:19,103 --> 00:04:20,172
I still hate you.

63
00:04:20,589 --> 00:04:21,622
Naturally.

64
00:04:21,775 --> 00:04:23,342
But I do want to see your movie.

65
00:04:24,728 --> 00:04:26,613
It's my book. It's not my movie.

66
00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:27,888
Not my problem.

67
00:04:28,148 --> 00:04:29,412
I like your movie.

68
00:04:29,574 --> 00:04:31,513
How is that even possible, honey?

69
00:04:31,941 --> 00:04:34,519
Because it proves you're not
the asshole they say you are.

70
00:04:38,199 --> 00:04:39,650
Cursing will cost you.

71
00:04:45,001 --> 00:04:46,615
Now who says I'm an asshole?

72
00:04:46,822 --> 00:04:48,276
Can we swap nights this weekend?

73
00:04:48,435 --> 00:04:50,166
We're having some people over
on Saturday,

74
00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:51,652
and I want Becca to be there.

75
00:04:51,838 --> 00:04:54,664
- Uncle Charlie and aunt Marcy.
- Thank you, sweetie.

76
00:04:54,924 --> 00:04:56,958
- Dad should come.
- They're his friends, too.

77
00:04:58,043 --> 00:05:01,380
And uncle Charlie's his agent.
Maybe he has an offer for him.

78
00:05:02,423 --> 00:05:04,216
You're welcome to come, Hank.

79
00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:07,302
Absolutely. Bring a date.

80
00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:11,440
Ear buds.

81
00:05:14,328 --> 00:05:15,352
First of all,

82
00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:18,700
you could not handle me hitting it off
with somebody right in front of you.

83
00:05:18,905 --> 00:05:21,483
You're right. It could be very painful.

84
00:05:21,653 --> 00:05:24,319
- But I think I'll get through it.
- Okay, so I take this

85
00:05:24,579 --> 00:05:26,923
to mean the answer is no,
you're not going to marry me.

86
00:05:27,063 --> 00:05:28,371
Hank, I'm standing right here.

87
00:05:28,604 --> 00:05:30,814
Did you ever stop
and think that it might be nice

88
00:05:30,954 --> 00:05:32,837
for Becca to see us all
get along for a change?

89
00:05:33,004 --> 00:05:34,346
Yes, and it might be nice

90
00:05:34,505 --> 00:05:37,053
if I could fellate myself
while farting the white album,

91
00:05:37,209 --> 00:05:39,184
but I haven't been able
to quite master that yet.

92
00:05:39,344 --> 00:05:41,063
- So...
- Is he coming?

93
00:05:41,203 --> 00:05:42,353
Absolutely.

94
00:05:42,514 --> 00:05:44,589
What can I bring, Bob? Bill.

95
00:05:45,199 --> 00:05:46,883
Whatever the fuck;

96
00:05:47,143 --> 00:05:48,462
that's not a "fuck," Becca.

97
00:05:56,308 --> 00:05:59,943
Your assistant makes me want
to touch myself in a bad place.

98
00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:04,901
That's nice. My assistant makes me want
to hang myself.

99
00:06:05,161 --> 00:06:06,413
While masturbating?

100
00:06:06,746 --> 00:06:08,253
Are you retarded or something?

101
00:06:08,438 --> 00:06:12,238
Funky back tat on the small of the back.
You know what that means.

102
00:06:12,669 --> 00:06:14,035
She likes it in the pooper.

103
00:06:15,613 --> 00:06:16,613
Really?

104
00:06:16,814 --> 00:06:19,116
I have no idea. I just wanted
to say "pooper". I’ve found

105
00:06:19,263 --> 00:06:22,073
that the back tat is a watermark
of the promiscuous, though.

106
00:06:22,364 --> 00:06:24,600
Still, she's the world's
worst assistant.

107
00:06:25,143 --> 00:06:26,949
She drops calls, she loses manuscripts,

108
00:06:27,089 --> 00:06:29,134
she can't even get
my fucking macchiato right.

109
00:06:29,877 --> 00:06:32,283
But she does seem to have a nipple ring.

110
00:06:32,423 --> 00:06:35,348
Quite possibly two. There is something
very cool going on in that area.

111
00:06:37,333 --> 00:06:40,312
Enough about my assistant's nipples.
You want to talk some business?

112
00:06:40,663 --> 00:06:44,056
- How's the new book coming?
- Now, that's a hostile question.

113
00:06:44,546 --> 00:06:47,753
You have owed your publisher
a book since Becca was breast-feeding.

114
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,400
I remember because I used to like
to watch Karen do that.

115
00:06:50,713 --> 00:06:52,157
Kiss my black ass.

116
00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:55,673
You need a fucking job.

117
00:06:56,329 --> 00:06:58,385
What? Okay. What do you got?

118
00:07:00,037 --> 00:07:01,063
Listen.

119
00:07:01,207 --> 00:07:02,733
- You hear that?
- What?

120
00:07:02,873 --> 00:07:05,295
That's the sound of my phone
not ringing for you.

121
00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,547
You have burned every bridge

122
00:07:07,807 --> 00:07:09,432
I built for you with my bare hands.

123
00:07:09,601 --> 00:07:11,972
- Except, of course Hell-A Magazine.
- No, don't say it....

124
00:07:12,145 --> 00:07:15,722
They want you to blog for them.
Just take the fucking meeting already!

125
00:07:16,733 --> 00:07:18,308
Let's ask Dani California.

126
00:07:19,326 --> 00:07:21,232
Hell-A Magazine. Thoughts?

127
00:07:22,152 --> 00:07:23,973
You'd be perfect for them.

128
00:07:24,910 --> 00:07:26,995
Nipple ring? Two?

129
00:07:28,870 --> 00:07:30,129
Anywhere else?

130
00:07:31,934 --> 00:07:33,062
She's got a nose ring, too.

131
00:07:33,202 --> 00:07:35,419
- You know what that means.
- She likes it in the nose?

132
00:07:35,627 --> 00:07:36,627
That is sick.

133
00:07:36,836 --> 00:07:40,118
Look around. L.A. needs you.

134
00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:41,748
Now more than ever.

135
00:07:42,334 --> 00:07:46,486
Your voice is a shotgun blast
to all the pretentious fucks

136
00:07:46,685 --> 00:07:48,838
who pollute
this once-great city of yours.

137
00:07:49,098 --> 00:07:52,259
Just so you know,
it's not and never will be my city.

138
00:07:52,728 --> 00:07:55,003
Use the blog, Hank.

139
00:07:55,245 --> 00:07:56,813
Channel your rage.

140
00:07:59,796 --> 00:08:03,523
You're a dying breed.
You're a real writer, a real man.

141
00:08:04,114 --> 00:08:06,703
You've got heart, balls, and swagger.

142
00:08:07,122 --> 00:08:09,023
Either way.

143
00:08:09,785 --> 00:08:12,073
Come over to the dark side, Hank.

144
00:08:12,572 --> 00:08:15,305
Join us at Hell-A Magazine.

145
00:08:15,773 --> 00:08:18,019
I appreciate the enthusiasm. I do.

146
00:08:18,159 --> 00:08:20,948
- But I don't have much to say.
- Think about it.

147
00:08:22,382 --> 00:08:24,389
Where you going?
I thought I was the real deal.

148
00:08:24,910 --> 00:08:26,793
It's a shame I'm in a relationship.

149
00:08:28,275 --> 00:08:29,970
Write me something, Hank.

150
00:08:34,589 --> 00:08:36,269
- Good night.
- Good night.

151
00:08:46,531 --> 00:08:47,598
The airplane.

152
00:09:02,246 --> 00:09:04,777
- So, what do you think?
- Very little of substance.

153
00:09:08,290 --> 00:09:09,419
My tits.

154
00:09:09,954 --> 00:09:10,962
Seriously.

155
00:09:13,556 --> 00:09:16,259
They seem pretty fucking groovy to me.

156
00:09:16,570 --> 00:09:18,887
- Think they're too small?
- Too small for what?

157
00:09:19,064 --> 00:09:20,761
I want to make them bigger.

158
00:09:20,924 --> 00:09:24,662
They're absolutely almost perfect,
in every conceivable titty way.

159
00:09:25,587 --> 00:09:26,991
What about my lips?

160
00:09:29,203 --> 00:09:30,543
Highly kissable.

161
00:09:33,060 --> 00:09:34,455
Not those lips.

162
00:09:35,812 --> 00:09:36,844
These.

163
00:09:44,124 --> 00:09:45,490
What about them?

164
00:09:45,863 --> 00:09:47,499
Do you think they're too floppy?

165
00:09:47,759 --> 00:09:49,668
- What?
- Floppy?

166
00:09:50,933 --> 00:09:52,416
I think of getting them fixed.

167
00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:55,683
Vaginal rejuvenation.
You heard about it?

168
00:09:55,863 --> 00:09:57,593
Get them trimmed up a little.

169
00:09:57,781 --> 00:10:00,250
That way they don't look like
day-old deli meat.

170
00:10:02,478 --> 00:10:06,149
I think I just lost my manhood.
And got hungry at the same time.

171
00:10:07,721 --> 00:10:09,056
I can help you find that.

172
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,113
You can try.

173
00:10:24,671 --> 00:10:27,548
- Hey, this is you.
- I thought you recognized me.

174
00:10:27,689 --> 00:10:29,332
I'm not a big porn guy, actually.

175
00:10:30,113 --> 00:10:31,382
And who might that be?

176
00:10:32,178 --> 00:10:33,178
My daughter.

177
00:10:33,874 --> 00:10:36,089
Do you need to go... see to her?

178
00:10:36,349 --> 00:10:38,442
It's okay. She'll quiet down.
Don't worry about it.

179
00:10:43,421 --> 00:10:44,532
Go be with your daughter.

180
00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:50,583
I'm gonna have to confiscate
this thing for further study.

181
00:11:09,052 --> 00:11:10,052
Piece of shit!

182
00:11:15,203 --> 00:11:17,505
Hell-A Magazine blog number one.

183
00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:19,140
Hank hates you all.

184
00:11:20,409 --> 00:11:22,049
A few things I've learned in my travels

185
00:11:22,212 --> 00:11:24,587
through this crazy little thing
called life.

186
00:11:24,970 --> 00:11:29,100
One: a morning of awkwardness is
far better than a night of loneliness.

187
00:11:30,166 --> 00:11:33,020
Two:
I probably won't go down in history,

188
00:11:33,274 --> 00:11:34,823
but I will go down on your sister.

189
00:11:35,463 --> 00:11:37,149
And three: while I'm down there,

190
00:11:37,597 --> 00:11:40,073
it might be nice to see a hint of pubis.

191
00:11:40,580 --> 00:11:43,598
I'm not talking about
a huge'70s playboy bush or anything,

192
00:11:43,718 --> 00:11:45,540
just something that reminds me

193
00:11:45,687 --> 00:11:47,868
that I'm performing cunnilingus
on an adult.

194
00:11:49,338 --> 00:11:51,215
But I guess the larger question is,

195
00:11:51,424 --> 00:11:54,167
why is the city of angels so hell-bent

196
00:11:54,427 --> 00:11:56,378
on destroying its female population?

197
00:12:18,491 --> 00:12:20,235
Jesus H. Christ.

198
00:12:23,553 --> 00:12:24,736
Nope.

199
00:12:25,093 --> 00:12:26,533
Just little old me.

200
00:12:27,303 --> 00:12:28,368
Are you okay?

201
00:12:28,703 --> 00:12:30,036
You look a little pale.

202
00:12:30,683 --> 00:12:32,375
Are you gonna have a heart attack?

203
00:12:32,703 --> 00:12:33,915
You are getting on in years.

204
00:12:34,175 --> 00:12:37,460
Just because I'm older than you
doesn't necessarily make me old.

205
00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:39,546
Well, I am 16, you know.

206
00:12:39,843 --> 00:12:42,937
- So I've been told.
- What's the word for that again?

207
00:12:44,394 --> 00:12:46,136
It's statutory rape.

208
00:12:46,505 --> 00:12:47,762
That's two words.

209
00:12:48,293 --> 00:12:49,597
Hi, daddy.

210
00:12:50,434 --> 00:12:53,453
Honey, put some clothes on, okay?
We have company.

211
00:12:54,153 --> 00:12:56,229
I'm sure it's nothing
he hasn't seen before.

212
00:13:00,810 --> 00:13:02,833
- Thanks for coming.
- Thanks for having me.

213
00:13:02,953 --> 00:13:04,028
It's my pleasure.

214
00:13:04,483 --> 00:13:06,030
The pleasure is all mine.

215
00:13:06,585 --> 00:13:07,900
I think this is...

216
00:13:09,457 --> 00:13:11,843
an important first step
we're taking here.

217
00:13:12,551 --> 00:13:13,830
Really? What step is that?

218
00:13:14,215 --> 00:13:15,874
The one where I sit back and watch

219
00:13:16,134 --> 00:13:18,259
as you try to steal my family
out from under me?

220
00:13:18,969 --> 00:13:20,255
It's not gonna happen.

221
00:13:20,989 --> 00:13:22,422
Game on, broheme.

222
00:13:23,433 --> 00:13:24,747
Hey. You didn't have to do that.

223
00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:26,575
Well, I didn't. It's for me.

224
00:13:27,508 --> 00:13:28,733
Sorry about that.

225
00:13:29,527 --> 00:13:31,757
Hank, Sonja.

226
00:13:32,952 --> 00:13:34,366
- Sonja, Hank.
- Hi.

227
00:13:34,506 --> 00:13:35,814
Uh, I love your writing.

228
00:13:35,954 --> 00:13:37,544
And I love you.

229
00:13:38,406 --> 00:13:41,463
I read your adaptation way back
when Soderbergh was gonna do it.

230
00:13:41,603 --> 00:13:44,012
- I fucking loved it.
- Hey, my salad days.

231
00:13:44,663 --> 00:13:46,480
You and I are gonna
get along just fine.

232
00:13:46,747 --> 00:13:47,788
I'm sorry. Honey?

233
00:13:47,928 --> 00:13:50,243
- Can I borrow the missus for a moment?
- Yeah.

234
00:13:50,386 --> 00:13:52,198
Can I talk to you?

235
00:13:52,468 --> 00:13:53,785
What the fuck are you doing?

236
00:13:54,618 --> 00:13:55,618
What do you mean?

237
00:13:55,758 --> 00:13:57,518
You're trying to set me up
with this woman.

238
00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:02,290
I thought it'd be nice for you to have
a play date with someone your own age.

239
00:14:02,430 --> 00:14:03,843
And if we get along swimmingly?

240
00:14:05,038 --> 00:14:06,137
Hankie.

241
00:14:06,315 --> 00:14:08,601
I had to leave you, remember?

242
00:14:08,892 --> 00:14:10,583
I'm not holding a torch here.

243
00:14:10,723 --> 00:14:12,882
And you need to get on
with your life.

244
00:14:13,303 --> 00:14:16,351
And you need to get in touch
with your emotions, woman.

245
00:14:21,074 --> 00:14:23,152
He says he's not used to dating.

246
00:14:33,391 --> 00:14:34,448
Nobody likes you.

247
00:14:34,588 --> 00:14:37,269
You're ugly and
your mother dresses you funny.

248
00:14:37,729 --> 00:14:40,011
Now smile, you fucking douche.

249
00:15:08,563 --> 00:15:09,570
Dad?

250
00:15:10,493 --> 00:15:11,891
- Dad?
- Yes.

251
00:15:12,167 --> 00:15:13,949
- Can I get a dog?
- Absolutely.

252
00:15:14,210 --> 00:15:16,118
Yes. As long as it poops here.

253
00:15:16,587 --> 00:15:17,725
We'll talk about it.

254
00:15:20,026 --> 00:15:21,026
I'm sorry, Hank.

255
00:15:21,217 --> 00:15:22,752
- My apologies.
- That's fine, Bill.

256
00:15:22,946 --> 00:15:23,997
She's very sweet.

257
00:15:24,262 --> 00:15:25,812
Well, I'd like to propose a toast.

258
00:15:27,084 --> 00:15:28,088
To friends...

259
00:15:30,142 --> 00:15:31,142
family...

260
00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:32,854
a new beginning...

261
00:15:33,646 --> 00:15:34,646
And a happy ending!

262
00:15:35,027 --> 00:15:36,035
Well said, honey.

263
00:15:36,175 --> 00:15:38,256
- I'll drink to that.
- Cheers, cheers!

264
00:15:42,395 --> 00:15:44,022
So, how did you and Bill meet?

265
00:15:45,523 --> 00:15:47,617
I don't think this is
the right setting for that...

266
00:15:47,757 --> 00:15:50,994
I think this is the perfect setting
for that story.

267
00:15:51,842 --> 00:15:54,602
Bill hired Karen
to redo his place...
This place.

268
00:15:54,831 --> 00:15:57,883
And along the way, they talked
Zen and the art of the mid-life crisis

269
00:15:58,023 --> 00:16:00,454
and... eventually

270
00:16:00,716 --> 00:16:02,402
fell head over heels in love.

271
00:16:02,883 --> 00:16:04,284
In Karen's case, heels over head.

272
00:16:05,023 --> 00:16:07,753
And Bill got another trophy
for his mantel, and...

273
00:16:08,014 --> 00:16:10,757
Karen got to move into
her own Barbie dream house.

274
00:16:12,553 --> 00:16:14,722
Talk about being the architect
of your very own...

275
00:16:14,864 --> 00:16:16,113
Happy ending!

276
00:16:16,552 --> 00:16:19,427
- Got it.
- That's a bit of an oversimplification.

277
00:16:19,734 --> 00:16:21,998
- But I'm not surprised.
- Floor is all yours, Bill.

278
00:16:22,278 --> 00:16:24,224
- I'll pass.
- That doesn't surprise me.

279
00:16:25,119 --> 00:16:26,535
How did you and Karen meet?

280
00:16:26,798 --> 00:16:29,042
- Some other time, sweetie.
- Mia, I don't think...

281
00:16:29,235 --> 00:16:31,193
What? I'm curious.
Come on!

282
00:16:31,455 --> 00:16:33,061
Karen's not a big fan
of memory lane.

283
00:16:33,332 --> 00:16:34,572
- I'll tell it.
- Rebecca.

284
00:16:35,667 --> 00:16:38,584
Mom was going to art school and playing
bass in this downtown noise band.

285
00:16:39,601 --> 00:16:41,695
Dad had just published his first novel.

286
00:16:42,173 --> 00:16:44,259
They met cute at...
What was it called again?

287
00:16:44,559 --> 00:16:46,229
- CBGB's.
- Right.

288
00:16:46,369 --> 00:16:48,077
He thought she was pretentious,

289
00:16:48,227 --> 00:16:50,903
and she thought he was way
too pleased with himself.

290
00:16:51,340 --> 00:16:52,668
But they had sex anyway.

291
00:16:53,476 --> 00:16:55,485
In the morning,
he made her breakfast,

292
00:16:55,767 --> 00:16:57,869
and she talked about her plan
to move to Seattle

293
00:16:58,009 --> 00:16:59,346
so she could stalk and marry...

294
00:16:59,627 --> 00:17:00,970
Chris Cornell.

295
00:17:01,355 --> 00:17:02,360
Right.

296
00:17:02,783 --> 00:17:04,407
But then she read dad's writing.

297
00:17:05,303 --> 00:17:06,410
And that was it.

298
00:17:07,789 --> 00:17:09,554
Nine months later, I was born.

299
00:17:10,610 --> 00:17:12,498
They never got married, of course.

300
00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:15,343
But they stayed together a long time.

301
00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:19,072
A lot longer than most people do.

302
00:17:25,457 --> 00:17:28,235
Oh, my boyfriend's here.
I got to go. Bye, daddy.

303
00:17:32,227 --> 00:17:33,296
Good night!

304
00:17:33,559 --> 00:17:35,626
- Bye, honey. So long.
- I wish I could tell

305
00:17:35,766 --> 00:17:38,008
an interesting
story about me and my ex,

306
00:17:38,148 --> 00:17:41,271
but it's really just
L.A. clichй number 4b.

307
00:17:41,430 --> 00:17:42,933
He was sleeping with his assistant.

308
00:17:43,110 --> 00:17:45,350
Oh, shit. That happens.

309
00:17:45,612 --> 00:17:47,459
- His name was Ted.
- Your husband?

310
00:17:47,725 --> 00:17:48,804
His assistant.

311
00:17:51,194 --> 00:17:52,858
- Could be worse.
- Really? How so?

312
00:17:53,120 --> 00:17:55,515
Well, instead of finding out
that your husband was gay,

313
00:17:55,655 --> 00:17:58,272
you could've found out
that he was a...

314
00:18:00,341 --> 00:18:02,689
scientologist or something like that.

315
00:18:03,914 --> 00:18:05,675
I'm a scientologist, Hank.

316
00:18:08,812 --> 00:18:09,976
Or a Nazi.

317
00:18:11,846 --> 00:18:13,153
Or Al Qaeda.

318
00:18:14,327 --> 00:18:16,048
- Keep trying.
- See, this is what I love

319
00:18:16,349 --> 00:18:19,176
- about L.A. is the diversity.
- My bet you do.

320
00:18:21,039 --> 00:18:22,232
The Eagles!

321
00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:25,551
Eagles of Death Metal.

322
00:18:25,777 --> 00:18:27,607
Cool. Right on.

323
00:18:28,089 --> 00:18:30,024
I liked having you here tonight.

324
00:18:30,211 --> 00:18:32,690
Well, I liked being here tonight.

325
00:18:33,157 --> 00:18:34,169
Bullshit.

326
00:18:34,358 --> 00:18:36,736
Oh, it's a pleasure
doing business with you.

327
00:18:39,214 --> 00:18:41,156
I hate to burst your bubble,
sweetie, but...

328
00:18:41,296 --> 00:18:43,667
that movie has nothing to do
with your old man.

329
00:18:43,979 --> 00:18:47,771
Of course it does. Your novel,
while very much
an exercise in nihilism,

330
00:18:48,182 --> 00:18:49,938
is firmly rooted in romanticism.

331
00:18:50,608 --> 00:18:51,847
You read the novel?

332
00:18:53,065 --> 00:18:54,507
Jesus fuck.

333
00:19:01,381 --> 00:19:03,474
You shouldn't take
the Lord's name in vain.

334
00:19:03,803 --> 00:19:06,141
- Where'd you get that old chestnut?
- Bill.

335
00:19:06,599 --> 00:19:08,351
I was wearing
my Cradle of Filth t-shirt.

336
00:19:09,001 --> 00:19:10,953
The one with "Jesus was a C-word"
on the back.

337
00:19:11,524 --> 00:19:12,917
That's my girl.

338
00:19:14,579 --> 00:19:16,100
But I do pray sometimes.

339
00:19:16,814 --> 00:19:17,817
Sort of.

340
00:19:18,155 --> 00:19:19,525
What do you pray for?

341
00:19:20,363 --> 00:19:23,424
That you and mom work out your shit
and we move back to New York.

342
00:19:26,467 --> 00:19:29,293
No, honey. You don't owe me
anything for that one.

343
00:19:31,668 --> 00:19:33,386
Dad?

344
00:19:33,574 --> 00:19:34,898
Are you okay?

345
00:19:41,918 --> 00:19:43,409
But I'm working on it.

346
00:19:45,887 --> 00:19:47,192
Can I get a dog?

347
00:19:49,130 --> 00:19:50,467
Oh, you're good.

348
00:19:51,109 --> 00:19:52,410
You're good.

349
00:20:01,050 --> 00:20:02,290
Son-ja.

350
00:20:02,772 --> 00:20:04,591
Hey, look, I'm sorry about before...

351
00:20:04,816 --> 00:20:07,768
What I said. I don't know what the fuck
I'm talking about half the time.

352
00:20:07,908 --> 00:20:10,469
- Ask anybody. They'll tell you.
- No worries. No worries.

353
00:20:12,628 --> 00:20:14,834
You want to...
You want to get fucked up?

354
00:20:23,022 --> 00:20:24,440
Why are you so smiley?

355
00:20:24,656 --> 00:20:27,550
There's nothing quite like
getting stoned on the very bed

356
00:20:27,815 --> 00:20:30,599
that your ex-domestic partner
shares with her fiancй?

357
00:20:32,195 --> 00:20:33,771
It's the little things.

358
00:20:36,462 --> 00:20:37,789
Could you do me a favor?

359
00:20:38,184 --> 00:20:39,339
Absolutely.

360
00:20:45,622 --> 00:20:46,664
Tell me what you think.

361
00:20:51,971 --> 00:20:52,980
Honestly?

362
00:20:53,994 --> 00:20:55,290
Yeah. Honestly.

363
00:20:55,959 --> 00:20:58,002
I'm, forty-something years old.

364
00:20:58,729 --> 00:21:01,294
I don't have time to play games.
I need to know the truth.

365
00:21:06,645 --> 00:21:08,579
Your breasts are obviously real.

366
00:21:10,336 --> 00:21:12,542
And, um, you have...

367
00:21:12,918 --> 00:21:14,664
an abundance of pubic hair,

368
00:21:15,416 --> 00:21:16,436
which is really nice.

369
00:21:18,057 --> 00:21:19,168
And, um...

370
00:21:19,492 --> 00:21:21,752
there's no evidence
of vaginal rejuvenation.

371
00:21:23,825 --> 00:21:26,309
I'd say aside from the fact
that you worship a space alien,

372
00:21:26,449 --> 00:21:30,459
you just might be the most beautiful
woman I've seen in a long long time...

373
00:21:32,901 --> 00:21:33,924
Thank you.

374
00:21:34,882 --> 00:21:36,121
It's my pleasure.

375
00:21:39,098 --> 00:21:40,685
Would you do mean other favor?

376
00:21:42,591 --> 00:21:43,728
Would you fuck me?

377
00:21:44,664 --> 00:21:47,288
My husband recently left me
for a guy named Ted,

378
00:21:47,791 --> 00:21:49,784
and right now all I wanna do
is get fucked stupid

379
00:21:49,914 --> 00:21:51,417
by a guy who actually likes women.

380
00:21:52,322 --> 00:21:53,478
If that's okay with you.

381
00:21:54,732 --> 00:21:56,542
I'd be lying if I said
I never wondered

382
00:21:56,862 --> 00:21:58,926
what it might be like
to violate a scientologist.

383
00:22:01,915 --> 00:22:04,694
You must be looking like
Art Garfunkel down there lately.

384
00:22:06,191 --> 00:22:07,943
Oh, my god. You're obsessed.

385
00:22:09,286 --> 00:22:11,492
You haven't been in
for a wax in months.

386
00:22:11,672 --> 00:22:14,409
So either you're taking
your lady business elsewhere

387
00:22:14,549 --> 00:22:16,790
or you're sporting
a ginormous hippie bush.

388
00:22:16,930 --> 00:22:19,843
You know what? I hate that shit.
I just came to keep you in business.

389
00:22:22,499 --> 00:22:25,423
And I just want you to be happy
and hair-free.

390
00:22:25,803 --> 00:22:28,113
Well, I am happy.

391
00:22:28,620 --> 00:22:30,239
Thank you very much.

392
00:22:32,711 --> 00:22:34,305
Are you sure you're not making

393
00:22:34,567 --> 00:22:37,057
a deal with the devil
that your ass can't cash?

394
00:22:37,498 --> 00:22:39,098
What does that even mean?

395
00:22:41,687 --> 00:22:42,739
What?

396
00:22:45,343 --> 00:22:46,489
What?

397
00:22:46,799 --> 00:22:49,296
Are you totally serious
about marrying this guy?

398
00:22:49,601 --> 00:22:51,489
Yes. Why?

399
00:22:52,147 --> 00:22:54,175
I love him. He loves me.

400
00:22:54,335 --> 00:22:55,659
He's great with Becca.

401
00:22:56,010 --> 00:22:57,288
I mean, what else is there?

402
00:22:57,758 --> 00:22:58,904
What about Hank?

403
00:22:59,646 --> 00:23:01,007
What about him?

404
00:23:01,614 --> 00:23:04,562
He loves you.
He's trying to get his shit together.

405
00:23:04,931 --> 00:23:07,150
He has been trying
to get his shit together

406
00:23:07,290 --> 00:23:09,015
since the day we first met.

407
00:23:10,804 --> 00:23:14,430
And the sex with Bill?
Is it good?

408
00:23:17,144 --> 00:23:19,031
Yeah. It's different, you know?

409
00:23:21,242 --> 00:23:22,294
Come on.

410
00:23:24,548 --> 00:23:25,962
I want to show you my house.

411
00:23:26,102 --> 00:23:27,534
Oh, my God.

412
00:23:28,978 --> 00:23:30,856
My house is my art.

413
00:23:33,955 --> 00:23:36,946
I don't think Tom and Katie would
approve of what we're doing right now.

414
00:23:37,086 --> 00:23:38,631
Oh, God.
Shut up and fuck me already.

415
00:23:38,771 --> 00:23:39,960
Are you clear yet?

416
00:23:40,100 --> 00:23:42,213
Shut up and fuck me.

417
00:23:42,947 --> 00:23:45,059
You are one kinky thetan.

418
00:23:55,114 --> 00:23:56,119
Are you okay?

419
00:24:07,928 --> 00:24:08,933
Right.

420
00:24:22,301 --> 00:24:23,329
Oh, god.

421
00:24:33,337 --> 00:24:35,567
- My painting.
- It's all good.

422
00:24:36,115 --> 00:24:37,303
We got it under control.

423
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:42,682
It's all good.

424
00:24:45,193 --> 00:24:47,390
Okay. We're so high!

425
00:24:47,530 --> 00:24:48,986
I don't know what happened.

426
00:25:03,003 --> 00:25:04,336
You look like ass.

427
00:25:06,319 --> 00:25:07,710
Did we just have sex?

428
00:25:12,512 --> 00:25:13,751
What do you want from me?

429
00:25:14,559 --> 00:25:15,817
Isn't it obvious?

430
00:25:19,124 --> 00:25:22,617
What happened the other night
will never, ever happen again.

431
00:25:24,563 --> 00:25:25,878
And why is that?

432
00:25:26,241 --> 00:25:28,176
Because it's sick and wrong.

433
00:25:29,355 --> 00:25:31,932
Well, maybe I'm in the minority here,

434
00:25:32,072 --> 00:25:34,604
but I just don't think
there's anything sick

435
00:25:34,744 --> 00:25:38,213
and wrong about a little fucking
and punching between consenting adults.

436
00:25:38,552 --> 00:25:40,562
You're not an adult, for one.

437
00:25:42,116 --> 00:25:43,628
You dirty old man.

438
00:25:46,213 --> 00:25:47,959
Well, I guess I'll just have to...

439
00:25:48,194 --> 00:25:50,757
get out my vibrator
and read your blog.

440
00:25:51,155 --> 00:25:53,273
That's cool. Then it won't be
a total waste of time.

441
00:25:55,110 --> 00:25:56,462
I thought it was cool.

442
00:25:57,110 --> 00:25:58,399
I was like, "Hey...

443
00:25:59,079 --> 00:26:00,497
"I totally fucked that guy."

444
00:26:05,008 --> 00:26:07,336
- Must be weird, though.
- What?

445
00:26:07,841 --> 00:26:10,527
Becoming the employee of a man
you so clearly hate.

446
00:26:11,549 --> 00:26:12,958
What are you talking about?

447
00:26:14,900 --> 00:26:16,046
My father...

448
00:26:16,458 --> 00:26:18,083
He owns Hell-A Magazine.

449
00:26:19,085 --> 00:26:20,193
Mia, is that you?

450
00:26:21,758 --> 00:26:23,047
Coming, daddy.

451
00:26:37,791 --> 00:26:39,281
Always a pleasure.