Субтитры - сезон 1, серия 3

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Previously on Californication...

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So, Hank.

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- Meredith.
- Do I know any of your books ?

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Well, that depends on whether
or not you read, Meredith.

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The good people Hell-A
are very interested

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in your thoughts.
They would like you to blog for them.

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Jesus H. Christ.

8
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- I am 16, you know.
- So I've been told.

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- Hi, daddy !
- Honey, put some clothes on.

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- We have company.
- Are you serious about marrying Bill?

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- Yes. Why?
- What about Hank?

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Game on, broheme.

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You want to get fucked up ?

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Oh, God...

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- Must be weird, though.
- What ?

16
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Becoming the employee of a man

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- you hate.
- What are you talking about ?

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My father, he owns Hell-A Magazine.

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Subtitles: swsub.com (1.00)

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Once upon a time, I wrote a book.

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People seemed to dig it,
so I wrote another and one after that.

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That's when Hollywood came knocking
at my back door.

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As soon as I cashed that check,

24
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I wrapped my lips around the mighty
erection that is the film industry

25
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and sucked hard,
just like a good whore should.

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Unfortunately, I had to be taught
not to orphan the balls.

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- Moody!
- Ladies and gentlemen, Todd Carr

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the caramel-coated, chrome-domed auteur

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who took my precious little novel,
wiped his ass, and transformed it

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into the craptastic crowd-pleaser
also known as

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Crazy Little Thing Called Love.

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My people.

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Still bitching about
being a whore to Hollywood?

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Only when my pimp's not around.

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You're no goddamn fucking Faulkner,
you know.

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And you're no Brett fucking Ratner.

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But that could be a compliment,
and in that case, I didn't mean to.

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I'm sick of you talking shit about me
in the press.

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That's why you're here?

40
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I thought you came after finding out
I fucked your wife

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in almost
every room of your house.

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Every room of your house.
And I'm sorry about the rug.

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I didn't realize the old lady
was a squirter.

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Where's Karen ?

45
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Home, with Becca.

46
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She's funny, that one.

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Becca ? Yeah, she is a real character.

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Karen. She knows how to push
all my buttons.

49
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I don't think she's trying
to push your buttons, Hank.

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Bill, I'm not really interested in what
you think, but thank you for sharing.

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I wanted to come.

52
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You did?

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I'm not the bad guy.

54
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You're not the bad guy?

55
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Life is complicated, man.

56
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"Life is complicated, man."
That's what you got ?

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- Way to dip into the platitudes.
- I guess that's why you're the writer.

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Oh, fuck.

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I didn't ask you to fucking come bail me
out. I didn't ask for a fucking job.

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Who the fuck do you think you are?

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You think I love
to be in business with you ?

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Some rude, disrespectful jackass
who can't get out of his own way ?

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You looking for a dick punch ?

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Do you want to punch me in the dick ?

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I kind of do, but standing here
talking about it

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- is beginning to sound kind of gay.
- Go ahead. Take a shot.

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But think,

68
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would you want Becca to see this ?

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I'll settle for a titty twister.

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God. You're 11.

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Fuck...

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Keep the job, Hank.
Get back on your feet.

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Get on with your life.

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And forget about the woman
you didn't want to marry.

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Don't make me get up and kick your ass
all over again, Bill !

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Hi. Remember me ?

77
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How could I forget ?
Best blind date of my life, asshole.

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We don't have much time.

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Your suitor will be returning
from the shitter.

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I'd like to offer my sincere apologies.

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My behavior the other night

82
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was beyond appalling,
despicable, reprehensible.

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I was a mess. I have no words.

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For a guy with no words,
that was a lot of words.

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That's funny.

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I wouldn't have expected that from you.

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Because you had me so nailed.

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Well, let me make it up to you.
Can I... take you out sometime?

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I'm out right now,
with a guy who's not an asshole.

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Right. Well, do you see yourself
marrying this fella ?

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- You never know.
- Girls know at once

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whether they want to fuck,
marry, or kill a guy.

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Which begs the question,
how am I doing ?

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Bye now.

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Be good to her, my friend.

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I had a shot with her once,
but I blew it.

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Hang out with your wang out,
but remember

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-- no gloving, no loving.

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Au revoir, mes enfants.
Au revoir.

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So... you were brought up
on the east coast.

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Jersey maybe.

102
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No, Long Island.

103
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Dad had a chip on his shoulder,
blue on his collar.

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Mom was a little beat down by it all,
but she's the one

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who encouraged you to dream big.

106
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They fought like cats and dogs,

107
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but they stayed together
through good times and bad.

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You had sisters.
You learned about girls.

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You were good with them,
maybe a little too good.

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You read books, and you didn't want
to die 5 miles from where you were born.

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So you escaped into the city
you romanticized

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and reinvented yourself
as a poor man's McInerney.

113
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How am I doing ?

114
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Pretty good,
a lot more gracious than mine.

115
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I blacked out there in the middle,

116
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when you were really strumming my pain
with your fingers, but...

117
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well done.

118
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How long you been working on that ?

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A couple of weeks.

120
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It's a good story.

121
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Any idea how it ends ?

122
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- Hey, where are you going ?
- I have to get to work.

123
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A job ? What do you do ?

124
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Well, don't you remember ?
I'm a poor gal's Martha Stewart.

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Don't you remember I'm an asshole ?

126
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Right. I'm an attorney.

127
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Then we're both assholes.

128
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- What's your thing ?
- Divorce.

129
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You must be a busy girl.

130
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That I am,
which is why I have to skedaddle.

131
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I can't believe you tried
to slink out of here

132
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- without saying goodbye to me.
- Hank. Please.

133
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I assume this was a one-time thing.

134
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Why would you assume
something like that ?

135
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Sorry, but you don't seem like a guy

136
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who likes a lot of repeat business.

137
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I'm offended. How about tonight ?

138
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- Are you sure?
- Yeah,

139
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a proper date. Dinner.

140
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20th-century style.

141
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I'd be just as happy to come back here.

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No. Dinner.

143
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A girl's got to eat.

144
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That she does.

145
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Are you gonna flush?

146
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What the fuck are you doing here?

147
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The redhead let me in.

148
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Question: does the carpet
match the drapes, Hanky-panky?

149
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You scared the shit outta me.

150
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I know.
You screamed just like a little girl.

151
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- Kind of a turnoff, actually.
- What the fuck do you want?

152
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I'm late...

153
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What? That's not possible.

154
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I... wore a condom.

155
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That's... That would be like
the Immaculate Conception.

156
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And you, you're the one who...
and then you left.

157
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I'm late for school.

158
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Well, then, what do you want from me,
besides the obvious?

159
00:10:00,981 --> 00:10:02,608
Don't flatter yourself, champ.

160
00:10:02,775 --> 00:10:04,560
I have a creative-writing course,

161
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and I need
to turn something in today, so....

162
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Okay, what's the problem?
It's creative writing.

163
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Be creative.
Write something.

164
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This from a guy who hasn't written
a word in five years?

165
00:10:16,245 --> 00:10:17,590
Nobody likes a smartass.

166
00:10:17,768 --> 00:10:20,309
Come on, you must have
some piece-of-shit short story

167
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- you never published around, somewhere.
- No, nothing.

168
00:10:25,939 --> 00:10:27,125
Don't. Stop that!

169
00:10:27,364 --> 00:10:28,399
And don't move.

170
00:10:28,694 --> 00:10:30,178
Don't fuck around.

171
00:10:30,496 --> 00:10:31,857
Do not fuck around!

172
00:10:32,982 --> 00:10:34,159
It's not funny.

173
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Look who's here.

174
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You don't call, thanks,
you don't write.

175
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You look like shit.

176
00:10:44,586 --> 00:10:47,211
And you look beautiful...
Far too beautiful for these 4 walls.

177
00:10:47,353 --> 00:10:48,887
Let's get some breakfast.
Come on.

178
00:10:49,070 --> 00:10:50,920
- I'm getting coffee.
- No, we'll go out.

179
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- We'll get it.
- Get dressed.

180
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Fuck!

181
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I just wanted...

182
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What, no points for safety?

183
00:11:05,633 --> 00:11:08,007
Yes, but Magnums?

184
00:11:08,147 --> 00:11:10,416
- Well, you know.
- Did you have a growth spurt?

185
00:11:10,663 --> 00:11:12,607
Well, no, I been... working out.

186
00:11:13,474 --> 00:11:15,319
Just a lot of vitamins.
I got whole...

187
00:11:15,944 --> 00:11:16,996
I got a regimen.

188
00:11:17,727 --> 00:11:20,690
Hank, do not quit this job.

189
00:11:21,047 --> 00:11:22,540
It's hardly a job, Karen.

190
00:11:22,953 --> 00:11:23,981
It's a blog.

191
00:11:24,121 --> 00:11:26,486
It's the best thing
that's happened to you in a long time

192
00:11:26,628 --> 00:11:29,605
- and you're good at it.
- Well, I just can't work for Bill.

193
00:11:29,755 --> 00:11:30,786
Why not?

194
00:11:31,415 --> 00:11:32,927
Well, for one, he's a dick.

195
00:11:33,362 --> 00:11:35,355
Could you just swallow your...

196
00:11:35,631 --> 00:11:37,613
stupid pride and keep the job,

197
00:11:37,842 --> 00:11:40,709
keep writing, keep doing
what you were put on this planet to do?

198
00:11:40,849 --> 00:11:44,275
What else is there for you... besides
drowning in a sea of pointless pussy?

199
00:11:49,438 --> 00:11:50,701
It's the neighbors.

200
00:11:52,422 --> 00:11:54,566
Do you know what?
I should go in there.

201
00:11:54,706 --> 00:11:55,950
I'm gonna go in there.

202
00:11:56,092 --> 00:11:59,492
I'm gonna go in there and tell her
what to expect and how to treat it.

203
00:11:59,632 --> 00:12:01,795
- It's only fair.
- There are some...

204
00:12:02,086 --> 00:12:05,439
images you don't want floating around
your pretty little head.

205
00:12:05,678 --> 00:12:07,514
Trust me, it's like a...

206
00:12:07,819 --> 00:12:10,669
It's like a Mapplethorpe shoot in there,
except with less cock.

207
00:12:11,072 --> 00:12:12,650
Shut up, okay?

208
00:12:12,953 --> 00:12:14,295
Shut up.

209
00:12:18,868 --> 00:12:20,362
Keep the job, hank.

210
00:12:20,709 --> 00:12:22,164
Do it for becca's sake.

211
00:12:22,621 --> 00:12:24,621
Give her something to look up to.

212
00:12:30,524 --> 00:12:31,940
Thanks for stopping by.

213
00:12:50,001 --> 00:12:53,044
Just suppose you're a guy,
you're getting a massage from another guy,

214
00:12:53,184 --> 00:12:55,010
and it's nice, it's relaxing.

215
00:12:55,365 --> 00:12:57,552
Then all of a sudden,
you get a little tingle,

216
00:12:57,875 --> 00:12:59,427
a little unintentional stim.

217
00:12:59,567 --> 00:13:03,200
What do you call that,
where you get a little turgidity?

218
00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:05,541
You get a rollover going there.

219
00:13:05,681 --> 00:13:07,260
That was Nora from Hell-A Magazine.

220
00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:09,290
She wanna know
when she'll get the next piece.

221
00:13:09,432 --> 00:13:11,289
What would you call that phenomenon?

222
00:13:11,717 --> 00:13:13,745
Hank, the whole idea behind the blog

223
00:13:14,007 --> 00:13:16,513
is an ongoing narrative.
You understand?

224
00:13:16,653 --> 00:13:19,542
A series of events
that follows another series of events.

225
00:13:19,807 --> 00:13:21,337
I get that. I really do.

226
00:13:21,477 --> 00:13:23,821
I just can't whore myself out to the tall man anymore.

227
00:13:24,100 --> 00:13:26,624
Ongoing or not, I can't do it.
Capisce?

228
00:13:27,051 --> 00:13:28,843
With all due respect, Hank,

229
00:13:29,641 --> 00:13:31,182
grow the fuck up already. Would you?

230
00:13:31,324 --> 00:13:33,351
Come on! You're the lying cocksucker
that got me

231
00:13:33,492 --> 00:13:35,662
into this in the first place.
You set me up.

232
00:13:35,860 --> 00:13:37,296
If by set you up, you mean

233
00:13:37,572 --> 00:13:40,034
contrive a situation
in which you might actually start

234
00:13:40,174 --> 00:13:42,845
to produce words again,
then, yes, okay, guilty as charged.

235
00:13:42,985 --> 00:13:45,484
You should've told me
what you were up to in the first place.

236
00:13:45,624 --> 00:13:47,925
- That was bullshit.
- You wouldn't have done it!

237
00:13:48,065 --> 00:13:50,198
Okay, you see what I'm getting at here?

238
00:13:50,464 --> 00:13:52,078
Oh, fuck you.
You're fired.

239
00:13:53,919 --> 00:13:55,338
You know that you've fired me

240
00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:57,412
roughly every 90 days
since we worked together.

241
00:13:57,552 --> 00:13:59,974
Yeah, because
I'm a consistent motherfucker.

242
00:14:00,795 --> 00:14:03,218
Don't do this, hank, okay?
Not now.

243
00:14:03,450 --> 00:14:06,314
No other agent in their right mind
would take you on, now.

244
00:14:06,454 --> 00:14:09,558
And the ones who would wouldn't be able
to get you a job writing kiddy porn.

245
00:14:09,762 --> 00:14:11,894
Yeah, we'll see about that.
It's a broner.

246
00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:14,562
It's a broner...
The word I'm looking for.

247
00:14:14,811 --> 00:14:17,409
Unintentionally man-inspired boner...
Broner.

248
00:14:17,549 --> 00:14:18,904
Duly noted.

249
00:14:23,758 --> 00:14:24,788
Broner!

250
00:14:24,928 --> 00:14:26,530
What is so fucking difficult

251
00:14:26,670 --> 00:14:29,028
about distinguishing
diet from regular, huh?

252
00:14:29,290 --> 00:14:30,571
Here. Just go.

253
00:14:30,833 --> 00:14:33,181
You're fired, all right?
Get out. Go!

254
00:14:33,461 --> 00:14:35,204
Fucking get outta here.

255
00:14:43,065 --> 00:14:44,483
You okay there, tiger?

256
00:14:46,851 --> 00:14:50,145
Did you ever have one of those days
where you feel like a tired, old whore

257
00:14:50,307 --> 00:14:51,807
whose uterus is about to fall out?

258
00:14:53,201 --> 00:14:55,106
I think I'm in touch with that emotion.

259
00:14:56,195 --> 00:14:58,533
Really? I was just being dramatic.
Do tell.

260
00:14:59,767 --> 00:15:01,612
That guy you saw me with last night?

261
00:15:01,978 --> 00:15:03,032
He's married.

262
00:15:03,172 --> 00:15:05,307
Oh, you dirty cheater, you.

263
00:15:05,885 --> 00:15:06,885
Five years.

264
00:15:07,271 --> 00:15:09,544
Been fucking a married guy
for five years?

265
00:15:09,854 --> 00:15:10,854
Classy, huh?

266
00:15:12,150 --> 00:15:13,883
I tend to think of myself

267
00:15:14,023 --> 00:15:16,828
as a whatever-makes-you-happy
kind of a guy, but...

268
00:15:17,178 --> 00:15:19,748
I have to ask...
What's in it for you, lady?

269
00:15:20,988 --> 00:15:22,021
I love him.

270
00:15:23,076 --> 00:15:25,348
And I tend to believe him
when he says he loves me.

271
00:15:26,114 --> 00:15:28,504
That sounds like
a charming little romcom,

272
00:15:29,234 --> 00:15:31,591
except for the part
where he won't leave his wife.

273
00:15:32,294 --> 00:15:35,152
The guy's richer than god.
He doesn't want to cut it in half.

274
00:15:35,464 --> 00:15:36,915
I haven't known you very long,

275
00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:39,734
and this probably means precious little
coming from a guy

276
00:15:39,898 --> 00:15:42,658
who treated you like
a piece of prison ass on a blind date,

277
00:15:43,839 --> 00:15:46,059
but I think you deserve
a hell of a lot more.

278
00:15:50,275 --> 00:15:51,581
My baby.

279
00:15:52,862 --> 00:15:55,717
You have a baby with the married guy?
Holy fuck.

280
00:15:57,518 --> 00:15:58,758
A dog.

281
00:15:59,793 --> 00:16:00,844
Cat Stevens.

282
00:16:01,713 --> 00:16:03,947
You have a dog named Cat Stevens?

283
00:16:04,375 --> 00:16:05,830
Holy fuck!

284
00:16:09,194 --> 00:16:10,772
A gift from married guy.

285
00:16:12,143 --> 00:16:14,222
I know it sounds incredibly lame,

286
00:16:14,914 --> 00:16:16,303
but he was like our baby.

287
00:16:17,478 --> 00:16:19,853
The one thing that was ours...
Just ours.

288
00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:22,744
So, his wife goes out of town,

289
00:16:22,886 --> 00:16:25,273
and I bring Cat Stevens
over to the house.

290
00:16:25,878 --> 00:16:27,957
Naturally, the bitch comes home early.

291
00:16:28,533 --> 00:16:31,735
I barely have enough time to put on
my clothes and sneak out the back.

292
00:16:32,410 --> 00:16:34,518
And then I realized I left him behind.

293
00:16:35,889 --> 00:16:39,805
That fucking bitch thought sweet
little Cat Stevens was a gift for her.

294
00:16:40,573 --> 00:16:42,620
Married guy doesn't say anything?

295
00:16:43,181 --> 00:16:44,473
How could he?

296
00:16:44,746 --> 00:16:46,232
Hmm, that is sick.

297
00:16:46,552 --> 00:16:47,552
Come on.

298
00:16:48,069 --> 00:16:49,330
Where are we going?

299
00:16:49,934 --> 00:16:51,292
We're gonna fix this.

300
00:18:19,812 --> 00:18:21,182
Hey, honey.

301
00:18:32,723 --> 00:18:33,996
You're insane.

302
00:18:34,838 --> 00:18:36,926
You've been fucking
a married guy for 5 years,

303
00:18:37,086 --> 00:18:39,482
you've got a dog named Cat Stevens,
and I'm insane?

304
00:18:39,622 --> 00:18:40,622
Point taken.

305
00:18:40,767 --> 00:18:44,272
I got to figure out a way to get
in there without breaking a window.

306
00:18:44,708 --> 00:18:46,097
How about this?

307
00:18:59,141 --> 00:19:00,141
Cat?

308
00:19:04,245 --> 00:19:06,529
And you'll never have dried-up meat
in the fridge.

309
00:19:08,407 --> 00:19:09,839
Cat Stevens!

310
00:19:10,538 --> 00:19:11,803
Come here, Cat!

311
00:19:11,945 --> 00:19:13,701
Roast beef, lamb, turkey.

312
00:19:13,892 --> 00:19:16,314
This knife is like a hot knife
going right through butter.

313
00:19:16,873 --> 00:19:18,375
It has a fork with the end,

314
00:19:18,604 --> 00:19:21,047
so you pick up the meat,
dip it into the gravy.

315
00:19:21,187 --> 00:19:23,524
Remember, here's a grapefruit.
Look at this.

316
00:19:24,123 --> 00:19:26,108
Not a seed, not a drop of juice
comes out.

317
00:19:26,754 --> 00:19:28,022
Come here.

318
00:19:28,718 --> 00:19:30,340
I'll take you away from all this!

319
00:19:33,249 --> 00:19:35,012
Cat! Yusuf Islam!

320
00:19:37,256 --> 00:19:38,923
Be Straight is a good song.

321
00:19:39,063 --> 00:19:42,213
Come here, Cat.
Come here!
Come on!

322
00:20:11,060 --> 00:20:13,109
Don't worry, I'll be gone
in a few minutes.

323
00:20:13,704 --> 00:20:15,660
Actually, I was... I was...

324
00:20:17,644 --> 00:20:20,479
- I was gonna call you.
- You could've e-mailed.

325
00:20:22,726 --> 00:20:24,857
I think I overreacted yesterday,

326
00:20:25,073 --> 00:20:27,073
and I'm sorry about that,

327
00:20:27,500 --> 00:20:28,549
So,

328
00:20:29,413 --> 00:20:33,019
the job is yours if...
you still want it.

329
00:20:33,936 --> 00:20:35,137
I want it.

330
00:20:36,064 --> 00:20:37,143
Good.

331
00:20:38,814 --> 00:20:39,814
But...

332
00:20:40,562 --> 00:20:41,562
But?

333
00:20:43,064 --> 00:20:46,653
From now on, if I make a mistake
or I screw something up,

334
00:20:47,624 --> 00:20:51,551
you should feel free to discipline
me in whatever way you see fit.

335
00:20:52,315 --> 00:20:53,665
You're the boss.

336
00:20:59,136 --> 00:21:01,202
And, Hank called.

337
00:21:02,065 --> 00:21:04,422
He said you could still be his agent
if you want.

338
00:21:23,266 --> 00:21:24,908
I thought that was you.

339
00:21:25,850 --> 00:21:28,110
I would have focused
on a different area altogether.

340
00:21:28,250 --> 00:21:29,917
Get your ass back in bed then.

341
00:21:30,315 --> 00:21:31,580
I got to go to work.

342
00:21:31,919 --> 00:21:35,455
Ah, yes, I don't think I've ever dated
a woman who had a job before.

343
00:21:37,315 --> 00:21:39,775
Is that what we're doing? Dating?

344
00:21:41,161 --> 00:21:43,529
It does feel that way, kind of,

345
00:21:44,137 --> 00:21:47,029
sort of, maybe, a little bit.

346
00:21:48,933 --> 00:21:51,327
Yeah. I guess it kind of does.

347
00:21:52,158 --> 00:21:53,665
Too many tongues!

348
00:21:56,876 --> 00:21:58,172
Take your fucking dog!

349
00:21:59,251 --> 00:22:02,690
I didn't have the heart to tell you,
but that's not Cat Stevens.

350
00:22:02,950 --> 00:22:03,950
What?

351
00:22:04,251 --> 00:22:07,843
You took the wrong dog. So not
your fault, the bitch has a lot of them.

352
00:22:08,229 --> 00:22:09,626
Look on the bright side.

353
00:22:10,143 --> 00:22:11,484
He seems to really like you.

354
00:22:19,391 --> 00:22:20,569
Thank you.

355
00:22:23,843 --> 00:22:25,970
This is not a macchiato!

356
00:22:26,308 --> 00:22:27,848
A macchiato...

357
00:22:34,534 --> 00:22:35,905
What...

358
00:22:36,259 --> 00:22:37,912
am I going to do with you?

359
00:22:39,324 --> 00:22:41,127
Whatever you want, boss.

360
00:22:52,543 --> 00:22:53,950
Look what a mess I've made.

361
00:23:29,995 --> 00:23:31,046
Guess who.

362
00:23:31,668 --> 00:23:34,842
Something's familiar.
Did you switch to Camel lights?

363
00:23:34,982 --> 00:23:36,089
That's cute!

364
00:23:36,231 --> 00:23:37,613
What you reading?

365
00:23:37,753 --> 00:23:41,337
Oh, you're not gonna go through
with that barbaric ritual, are you?

366
00:23:41,671 --> 00:23:43,427
I was thinking about it.

367
00:23:43,667 --> 00:23:45,028
You don't sound too excited.

368
00:23:45,170 --> 00:23:46,170
I am.

369
00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:47,830
It's just weird.

370
00:23:48,356 --> 00:23:50,467
I never thought I'd get married.

371
00:23:50,607 --> 00:23:53,030
You had me convinced
it was all a bullshit fairy tale.

372
00:23:53,218 --> 00:23:55,803
- And it's not?
- Not if you meet the right person.

373
00:23:56,170 --> 00:23:58,216
You say it's about meeting Mr. Right.

374
00:23:58,356 --> 00:24:00,767
I think you're settling
for Mr. Right in front of you.

375
00:24:01,671 --> 00:24:05,124
I'm asking you to consider
Mr. Lurking right above you.

376
00:24:08,444 --> 00:24:12,570
I wouldn't want to erase the fact that,
once upon a time, I used to love you.

377
00:24:16,302 --> 00:24:18,764
William. I have something for you.

378
00:24:20,860 --> 00:24:23,715
Hank! You didn't have to do this!

379
00:24:23,857 --> 00:24:27,103
Considering I got my precious
bodily fluids all over yours,

380
00:24:27,356 --> 00:24:29,069
I felt like, yeah, I kind of did.

381
00:24:29,495 --> 00:24:35,129
But that piece of... art
is worth a small fortune.

382
00:24:35,297 --> 00:24:38,153
Don't look a gift piece
of overpriced pop art in the mouth.

383
00:24:38,295 --> 00:24:40,808
I know people who know people.
Just enjoy it.

384
00:24:41,106 --> 00:24:43,822
Consider it a belated
engagement present.

385
00:24:44,171 --> 00:24:46,157
Hang it over your marital bed.

386
00:24:46,921 --> 00:24:48,160
What's up with you?

387
00:24:48,357 --> 00:24:50,607
- You seem kind of...
- Jaunty?

388
00:24:50,829 --> 00:24:52,219
- Yes.
- Devil-may-care?

389
00:24:52,420 --> 00:24:53,654
- Yes.
- Happy?

390
00:24:54,232 --> 00:24:56,234
- Even.
- Well, maybe I met a girl.

391
00:24:56,374 --> 00:24:57,819
- Hey, dad.
- Hey, honey.

392
00:24:58,376 --> 00:25:01,649
I've got something for you, too.
Just hold on. Stay right there.

393
00:25:05,586 --> 00:25:08,611
I'm partial to Yusuf Islam,
but you can call him whatever you want.

394
00:25:09,794 --> 00:25:11,879
And, Bill, don't worry.
He can stay with me.

395
00:25:12,181 --> 00:25:15,943
- That's so nice of you, Hank.
- Yes, Hank, that's very nice of you.

396
00:25:18,298 --> 00:25:20,405
Well, you guys look like one big happy.

397
00:25:20,545 --> 00:25:23,455
I am proud to report
that my daughter has just penned

398
00:25:23,607 --> 00:25:27,078
one of the most impressive short stories
I've ever had the pleasure of reading.

399
00:25:27,609 --> 00:25:30,714
Now, the prose was a bit
on the purple side,

400
00:25:30,859 --> 00:25:33,581
but still, I had no idea
she had it in her.

401
00:25:33,723 --> 00:25:35,245
The prose couldn't be that purple.

402
00:25:35,393 --> 00:25:38,719
No, it was, but still,
it was good stuff.

403
00:25:39,110 --> 00:25:40,784
That is something.

404
00:25:41,588 --> 00:25:42,903
Well, it's what I do.

405
00:25:43,100 --> 00:25:44,358
Speaking of which,

406
00:25:44,818 --> 00:25:46,489
dare I ask about the blog?

407
00:25:48,539 --> 00:25:50,435
Honey, to quote The Clash,

408
00:25:50,817 --> 00:25:53,451
should I stay
or should I rock the Kasbah?

409
00:25:54,037 --> 00:25:56,856
Do what you want, dad.
I love you no matter what.

410
00:26:01,352 --> 00:26:03,212
Good morning, Hell-A.

411
00:26:03,352 --> 00:26:06,575
In the land of the lotus-eaters,
time plays tricks on you.

412
00:26:07,225 --> 00:26:08,459
One day you're dreaming.

413
00:26:08,599 --> 00:26:11,105
The next, your dream
has become your reality.

414
00:26:13,098 --> 00:26:14,487
It was the best of times.

415
00:26:15,099 --> 00:26:17,149
If only someone had told me.

416
00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:22,501
Mistakes were made, hearts
were broken,
harsh lessons learned.

417
00:26:24,226 --> 00:26:25,910
My family goes on without me,

418
00:26:27,131 --> 00:26:30,591
while I drown
in a sea of pointless pussy.

419
00:26:32,989 --> 00:26:34,591
I don't know how I got here.

420
00:26:35,787 --> 00:26:40,216
But here I am, rotting away
in the warm California sun.

421
00:26:41,477 --> 00:26:45,274
There are things I need to figure out,
for her sake, at least.

422
00:26:46,609 --> 00:26:49,810
The clock is ticking.
The gap is widening.

423
00:26:52,943 --> 00:26:55,399
She won't always love me
"no matter what."