Субтитры - сезон 2, серия 3

1
00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:01,937
Previously on Californication...

2
00:00:02,248 --> 00:00:04,049
- Why the vasectomy?
- Hate the rubbers.

3
00:00:05,710 --> 00:00:08,011
What happened back there
could have happened to anybody.

4
00:00:08,171 --> 00:00:09,888
Wrong place, wrong time...

5
00:00:10,253 --> 00:00:11,514
wrong vagina!

6
00:00:11,674 --> 00:00:13,808
It's time I go have
a little chat with our president.

7
00:00:18,973 --> 00:00:21,334
That's it!
Runkle is ankling!

8
00:00:22,008 --> 00:00:23,818
Sure you don't want me
to step outside?

9
00:00:23,978 --> 00:00:27,489
I've had grosser dudes than you staring
into the business end of my cooter.

10
00:00:27,749 --> 00:00:28,573
Porn!

11
00:00:28,855 --> 00:00:31,743
- Julian's a writer, too.
- Really? My condolences.

12
00:00:31,903 --> 00:00:33,571
What I write about
is, uh...

13
00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:35,371
accessing the artist

14
00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:38,041
that exists
within every single one of us.

15
00:00:38,676 --> 00:00:40,794
So, let me get this straight.
Your name is

16
00:00:40,954 --> 00:00:41,878
Trixie,

17
00:00:42,038 --> 00:00:43,463
and you are a whore?

18
00:00:43,623 --> 00:00:45,674
- Lew Ashby.
- Hank Moody.

19
00:00:45,834 --> 00:00:46,675
The writer?

20
00:00:46,835 --> 00:00:49,004
I got this, book deal.

21
00:00:50,248 --> 00:00:53,014
They want to write about
why everything I touch turns to gold.

22
00:00:53,174 --> 00:00:54,224
You write it.

23
00:00:58,137 --> 00:01:03,203
Subtitles:
www.sub-way.fr (1.00)

24
00:01:06,807 --> 00:01:09,342
Hey, great. You're up.
I made some coffee.

25
00:01:10,795 --> 00:01:12,571
Hey, Becca, let's go!

26
00:01:14,113 --> 00:01:16,699
You know the house...
The job that we're bidding on?

27
00:01:16,819 --> 00:01:20,542
It's over in the valley, so I thought
I could just get Sonja to drop me

28
00:01:21,737 --> 00:01:24,204
at Lew Ashby's house tonight,
and maybe we could go

29
00:01:24,324 --> 00:01:26,076
get dinner someplace in Hollywood.

30
00:01:27,071 --> 00:01:28,841
- What do you think?
- I'm listening.

31
00:01:28,961 --> 00:01:31,729
- What, with your hands?
- I'm like a blind man.

32
00:01:33,506 --> 00:01:36,121
Some of us have jobs to go to,

33
00:01:36,241 --> 00:01:40,394
- you know, like, responsibilities?
- So do I, but I balance that shit.

34
00:01:40,923 --> 00:01:43,157
I don't let the crushing pressures
of the workday world

35
00:01:43,277 --> 00:01:45,422
interfere with
of my life as a sexual being.

36
00:01:45,542 --> 00:01:46,484
I noticed that.

37
00:01:46,644 --> 00:01:49,594
But I don't know
if getting paid six-figure sums

38
00:01:49,714 --> 00:01:53,158
to hang out with rock stars
all day really constitutes work,

39
00:01:53,318 --> 00:01:54,997
- but, you know...
- Of course it does.

40
00:01:55,117 --> 00:01:58,182
Don't you want to send me off to
the salt mines with a smile on my face?

41
00:01:58,302 --> 00:02:00,874
You're not giving up, right?
Okay.

42
00:02:02,871 --> 00:02:04,362
My god. That's...

43
00:02:04,482 --> 00:02:06,664
That's the mailman.
That's the wrong number.

44
00:02:07,263 --> 00:02:09,304
It's Mia. She's here.

45
00:02:11,173 --> 00:02:13,261
- Nobody's home!
- Knock, knock, foster family.

46
00:02:17,524 --> 00:02:18,516
Becca, come on.

47
00:02:19,017 --> 00:02:22,312
You don't want to be late on your first
day. You can sulk later.

48
00:02:22,472 --> 00:02:25,304
- Did you have breakfast?
- Did I mention I hate you?

49
00:02:25,808 --> 00:02:29,387
Yes, you did. I know. I'm evil,
but just get out here now.

50
00:02:29,623 --> 00:02:30,631
Please?

51
00:02:30,751 --> 00:02:33,490
- You promise you won't make fun?
- Yes.

52
00:02:35,957 --> 00:02:38,203
Come on. We're kidding.
No one's gonna make the fun.

53
00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:41,204
I'm sure you never looked lovelier.

54
00:02:41,798 --> 00:02:43,938
Parents who truly love
their children

55
00:02:44,058 --> 00:02:46,663
make sacrifices to homeschool them.

56
00:02:46,783 --> 00:02:48,546
Let's go. Come on.
Get your stuff.

57
00:02:50,911 --> 00:02:51,993
And, you...

58
00:02:53,286 --> 00:02:57,055
- good luck today.
- You too. Kick some architectural ass.

59
00:02:57,215 --> 00:02:59,599
And may the force be with you,
my preppy-goth princess.

60
00:03:00,969 --> 00:03:02,435
And whatever you do,

61
00:03:02,595 --> 00:03:04,771
don't be another brick in the wall!

62
00:04:25,117 --> 00:04:26,817
The chorus is the verse.

63
00:04:29,024 --> 00:04:30,481
What the fuck does that mean?

64
00:04:33,215 --> 00:04:35,237
Work it out, grasshoppers.

65
00:04:36,169 --> 00:04:37,328
Smoke?

66
00:04:37,448 --> 00:04:38,671
No, thanks. I quit.

67
00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:45,163
So you know you just...
You just listened to that song one time?

68
00:04:46,047 --> 00:04:48,470
I hear. I speak.
I move on. That's my job.

69
00:04:48,590 --> 00:04:51,382
Right. So you just operate
on pure instinct?

70
00:04:51,502 --> 00:04:54,288
- What the fuck else is there?
- I don't know. Intellect, technique,

71
00:04:54,408 --> 00:04:56,738
somebody like Warren Zevon,
for instance.

72
00:04:56,858 --> 00:05:00,128
Warren Zevon could sit down
and talk 12-tone theory

73
00:05:00,248 --> 00:05:01,471
with, Stravinsky.

74
00:05:01,631 --> 00:05:05,624
Half the cockbags that come through here
barely play their fucking instruments.

75
00:05:07,415 --> 00:05:10,358
Yesterday the lead singer's girlfriend
comes by withthese sprinkles cupcakes,

76
00:05:10,478 --> 00:05:12,329
and one of those
little screamo fags in there

77
00:05:12,449 --> 00:05:14,371
pulls out this little knife,
cuts one in half,

78
00:05:14,491 --> 00:05:16,569
shares it
with the other Johnny cupcake.

79
00:05:17,216 --> 00:05:20,494
Elton John going down on George Michael
in a public washroom:

80
00:05:20,614 --> 00:05:22,637
- less gay.
- It would've been more gay

81
00:05:22,757 --> 00:05:25,495
if he shoves a cupcake up
the other guy's ass and then ate it,

82
00:05:25,655 --> 00:05:28,539
but thank you for putting that in my
head, because I love me some Elton John.

83
00:05:28,958 --> 00:05:30,739
You love me some Elton John?

84
00:05:32,628 --> 00:05:33,963
What are you...

85
00:05:34,083 --> 00:05:37,048
- Get off of my ass.
- Looks like we're just in time.

86
00:05:38,073 --> 00:05:39,634
Take-out has arrived.

87
00:05:40,210 --> 00:05:42,071
- How you doing?
- Good.

88
00:05:43,840 --> 00:05:46,425
- Hank Moody.
- Beatrice Trixie.

89
00:05:47,385 --> 00:05:48,601
You two know each other?

90
00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:53,272
I seem to recall
an exchange of currency, yes.

91
00:05:53,432 --> 00:05:55,532
Well, cool. Then you take
Trixie, I'll take Amber,

92
00:05:55,652 --> 00:05:58,319
unless you want to go together?
Swap midstream?

93
00:06:00,436 --> 00:06:01,877
Catch you on the flip side.

94
00:06:01,997 --> 00:06:02,949
Amber!

95
00:06:04,207 --> 00:06:05,281
So...

96
00:06:05,848 --> 00:06:06,975
how's Trix?

97
00:06:07,572 --> 00:06:09,134
Charlie Runkle from...

98
00:06:09,816 --> 00:06:11,207
Just Charlie Runkle.

99
00:06:11,762 --> 00:06:14,836
Where? From planet Earth.
That's where I'm calling from, okay?

100
00:06:15,530 --> 00:06:18,084
Meanwhile, how about
we just get a lunch on...

101
00:06:18,522 --> 00:06:19,522
the books.

102
00:06:20,543 --> 00:06:21,594
Nice.

103
00:06:28,651 --> 00:06:32,101
Hey, I know you. How you doing?
You don't remember me?

104
00:06:32,221 --> 00:06:34,981
We met at my wife's salon.
Yeah, you were having your lady needs

105
00:06:35,141 --> 00:06:37,531
- tended to, and I was...
- Marcy's dude.

106
00:06:37,651 --> 00:06:39,200
- Yes. Charlie Runkle.
- Daisy.

107
00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:42,056
Daisy. That's right. Daisy.
So, the lovely daisy.

108
00:06:42,176 --> 00:06:45,033
- Where are you off to this afternoon?
- You know, just work.

109
00:06:45,193 --> 00:06:48,077
Work? Well, that's great.
That means you scored a part.

110
00:06:49,363 --> 00:06:50,413
You're not psyched.

111
00:06:50,984 --> 00:06:54,459
These guys are just total amateurs,
And I hate working for them.

112
00:06:55,118 --> 00:06:58,337
I understand basic impulse
To want to stick your dick in something.

113
00:06:58,457 --> 00:06:59,589
Like, I get that.

114
00:06:59,749 --> 00:07:03,199
I'm just not one of these chicks
that's down with objects.

115
00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:05,887
- Objects?
- You know, like bottles of booze,

116
00:07:06,151 --> 00:07:07,972
cellphones, and whatnot.

117
00:07:08,132 --> 00:07:10,683
Toys, sure.
Food... Maybe. Food's organic.

118
00:07:11,282 --> 00:07:14,383
Well, some of it is. I mean,
you got to read the labels.

119
00:07:14,503 --> 00:07:17,542
But once you become that chick,
you're in a box, right?

120
00:07:17,662 --> 00:07:20,485
Forever and ever, you're the girl
that sticks stuff up there.

121
00:07:20,784 --> 00:07:24,530
And I just didn't get into this business
to become some kind of freak show.

122
00:07:24,690 --> 00:07:27,825
No, that's why you got to stand up
for yourself with those people.

123
00:07:27,985 --> 00:07:30,535
You got to tell them
what you just told me.

124
00:07:30,696 --> 00:07:33,664
Like they want to hear that from some
chick just off the bus from Hicks ville.

125
00:07:33,824 --> 00:07:36,209
How are you gonna get
what you want if you don't ask for it?

126
00:07:36,369 --> 00:07:39,127
I'll tell you what we're gonna do.
Let me talk to them for you.

127
00:07:39,288 --> 00:07:41,547
- That sounds nice...
- I'm gonna go with you to the set,

128
00:07:42,013 --> 00:07:44,158
- Actually...
- I'll put in a few well-chosen words.

129
00:07:44,278 --> 00:07:46,552
- That sounds really great but...
- What's up, sweetheart?

130
00:07:47,262 --> 00:07:49,504
You and, uh,
uncle Fester need a lift?

131
00:07:50,143 --> 00:07:54,130
Mister, you've been really nice,
but that's my ride, so I have to go.

132
00:07:54,250 --> 00:07:56,687
Not so fast. Are you going to the set?
I'll come with.

133
00:07:57,072 --> 00:07:59,738
How you doing, pal?
Okay, shove over,

134
00:08:00,007 --> 00:08:03,278
make room. One real
Hollywood agent at your service.

135
00:08:04,021 --> 00:08:07,990
In case they don't want to do that,
I've prepared a couple of options.

136
00:08:08,150 --> 00:08:10,272
But, so we've got... the safe...

137
00:08:11,100 --> 00:08:12,995
approach, which is that.

138
00:08:13,155 --> 00:08:16,124
And then we've got
the more radical approach --

139
00:08:16,494 --> 00:08:17,708
Honey, honey.

140
00:08:17,868 --> 00:08:20,715
I think you're throwing Karen off.
Jesus.

141
00:08:21,038 --> 00:08:23,506
It's fine.
I'm the one that's intruding.

142
00:08:23,666 --> 00:08:26,884
I just wanted to check in with you
before we meet the clients

143
00:08:27,044 --> 00:08:28,358
and go through...

144
00:08:28,946 --> 00:08:31,302
it's not really
your forte, is it...

145
00:08:31,580 --> 00:08:32,765
selling yourself?

146
00:08:33,719 --> 00:08:36,657
Well, I'm not selling myself.
I'm selling my works.

147
00:08:37,464 --> 00:08:38,813
Hey, give me your wrist.

148
00:08:39,140 --> 00:08:40,944
I don't really want
to give you my wrist.

149
00:08:41,484 --> 00:08:44,360
Go with it, okay? Trust me.
The man knows his shit.

150
00:08:44,871 --> 00:08:46,330
Of course, I just...

151
00:08:47,356 --> 00:08:50,283
- My God. Here's my wrist.
- Thank you.

152
00:08:53,325 --> 00:08:54,580
Close your eyes.

153
00:08:55,614 --> 00:08:56,956
Close your eyes.

154
00:08:57,873 --> 00:08:59,157
Don't be scared.

155
00:08:59,595 --> 00:09:03,337
Good. Now, we all have this pressure
point in our wrists right about

156
00:09:03,949 --> 00:09:04,913
here,

157
00:09:05,033 --> 00:09:06,879
that reduces nervousness.

158
00:09:09,728 --> 00:09:11,367
Your heart is racing.

159
00:09:11,873 --> 00:09:12,950
Why is that?

160
00:09:15,490 --> 00:09:17,587
Because you're feeling judged.

161
00:09:19,308 --> 00:09:21,437
The artist within feels threatened.

162
00:09:22,630 --> 00:09:23,691
Under attack.

163
00:09:23,851 --> 00:09:25,554
Now, those are very primal emotions.

164
00:09:25,674 --> 00:09:28,057
You don't have to be ashamed.
Now, listen to me, Karen.

165
00:09:28,177 --> 00:09:29,322
I'm here to tell you

166
00:09:29,482 --> 00:09:33,087
if you're operating from a place
of inner strength and conviction,

167
00:09:33,402 --> 00:09:34,953
Anything is possible.

168
00:09:37,301 --> 00:09:38,369
And no dream

169
00:09:38,728 --> 00:09:40,323
that you dare to dream

170
00:09:41,188 --> 00:09:43,424
can be beyond your grasp.

171
00:09:45,778 --> 00:09:46,778
Thank you.

172
00:09:47,625 --> 00:09:48,701
Believe it.

173
00:09:55,286 --> 00:09:56,265
Thanks.

174
00:09:56,731 --> 00:09:58,832
This is totally uncool, Daisy.
What the fuck?

175
00:09:58,952 --> 00:10:01,520
- You had to bring your boyfriend?
- He's not my boyfriend.

176
00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:03,561
I'm just along for the ride, fellas.

177
00:10:03,936 --> 00:10:06,791
- Where we shooting today anyway?
- Do you know what a hassle this is?

178
00:10:06,911 --> 00:10:08,954
We're just gonna have
to fuzz him out.

179
00:10:09,074 --> 00:10:10,488
Fuzz me out of what?

180
00:10:10,648 --> 00:10:12,782
Listen, brother, if you wanna ride
in the slam van,

181
00:10:12,902 --> 00:10:16,336
- you gotta sign a release.
- I'm sorry. "The slam van"?

182
00:10:17,321 --> 00:10:18,663
Fuzz me out of what?

183
00:10:18,823 --> 00:10:21,505
Look, I don't even understand
what the problem is, alright?

184
00:10:21,625 --> 00:10:23,209
I'm catching a ride to the set.

185
00:10:23,369 --> 00:10:25,349
I'm gonna say hello once
to the director...

186
00:10:25,469 --> 00:10:27,428
The set? This is the set.

187
00:10:27,748 --> 00:10:29,762
And I, hello, am the director.

188
00:10:30,702 --> 00:10:31,968
You're the director?

189
00:10:32,128 --> 00:10:33,886
- Yeah.
- Charlie runkle, UTK.

190
00:10:34,046 --> 00:10:35,500
Or formerly UTK.

191
00:10:35,620 --> 00:10:36,609
Listen,

192
00:10:36,729 --> 00:10:38,891
I'm not familiar with your work,
per se,

193
00:10:39,051 --> 00:10:40,935
alright?
But I think it safe to say we're both

194
00:10:41,095 --> 00:10:44,563
- big fans of Daisy, here, right?
- Yeah, yeah. You know what?

195
00:10:44,723 --> 00:10:48,192
I'd be an even bigger fan of Daisy
if she would start schlobbing some knob.

196
00:10:48,352 --> 00:10:51,313
Now, Daisy, can you hurry, please?
We are losing daylight, sweetheart.

197
00:10:51,433 --> 00:10:53,843
- Alright.
- You know what? Fuck it.

198
00:10:54,692 --> 00:10:57,880
We're just gonna put Popeye
in this scene here anyway, man.

199
00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,652
You know what? You be her daddy
or something in this one.

200
00:11:00,772 --> 00:11:02,593
Or maybe a creepy uncle, okay?

201
00:11:02,876 --> 00:11:05,180
Daisy, you're going
to get some ice cream.

202
00:11:05,300 --> 00:11:08,294
Your car breaks down, shit like that.
Let's just start sucking.

203
00:11:08,414 --> 00:11:10,798
All right. On my go!
And...

204
00:11:11,138 --> 00:11:12,138
action!

205
00:11:12,532 --> 00:11:15,337
It was so cool of you
to help me out like this.

206
00:11:16,148 --> 00:11:18,921
I just wish there was some way

207
00:11:19,041 --> 00:11:20,770
I could thank you.

208
00:11:23,961 --> 00:11:25,042
What the f...

209
00:11:26,672 --> 00:11:27,672
Shit!

210
00:11:28,250 --> 00:11:29,424
Daddy no likey.

211
00:11:29,810 --> 00:11:32,070
Daisy, what are you do...
Oh, geez!

212
00:11:32,563 --> 00:11:34,170
Come on, little girl.

213
00:11:34,290 --> 00:11:37,074
Make Daddy proud.
Little girl, make Daddy proud.

214
00:11:37,931 --> 00:11:39,322
Okay, there you go.

215
00:11:39,442 --> 00:11:41,491
See, it's your friend.
It's your friend.

216
00:11:41,888 --> 00:11:44,707
It's getting bigger and meaner.
Fight back!

217
00:11:47,464 --> 00:11:50,542
Then she jumped into the car,
and we drove off into the sunset.

218
00:11:50,915 --> 00:11:53,188
Well, no,
it was actually dark already.

219
00:11:53,468 --> 00:11:56,376
- But you get the idea, huh?
- Awesome. Good for you.

220
00:11:56,496 --> 00:11:59,102
And we've been living
happily ever after ever since.

221
00:11:59,222 --> 00:12:00,139
Pretty much.

222
00:12:01,117 --> 00:12:02,224
"Pretty much"?

223
00:12:04,929 --> 00:12:06,653
It's a long story, but...

224
00:12:07,921 --> 00:12:10,983
One night, I ended up
becoming the accidental oralist

225
00:12:11,143 --> 00:12:12,985
to this very naked, very young girl.

226
00:12:13,537 --> 00:12:15,785
- It's been a sticking point.
- I don't know what it means,

227
00:12:15,905 --> 00:12:17,220
but it sounds bad.

228
00:12:19,943 --> 00:12:21,327
Do you want a tug job?

229
00:12:22,341 --> 00:12:23,621
Is that with the foot?

230
00:12:25,032 --> 00:12:26,910
- No, what?
- A little hand release?

231
00:12:27,696 --> 00:12:30,602
No, thanks. I'm not a big fan
of hand work in general.

232
00:12:30,722 --> 00:12:33,672
I don't think it would be appropriate,
given the story I just told you.

233
00:12:33,832 --> 00:12:36,613
I was just asking.
I am on the clock.

234
00:12:36,822 --> 00:12:38,052
Record company's dime.

235
00:12:38,212 --> 00:12:40,902
Not that you're not doing
a great job on my toes.

236
00:12:44,051 --> 00:12:46,165
I just thought
I'd put it out there.

237
00:12:47,103 --> 00:12:48,519
It's hardly cheating.

238
00:12:48,847 --> 00:12:50,189
I'm pretty sure it is.

239
00:12:51,377 --> 00:12:54,927
Maybe you're right. Sometimes,
my whore logic gets all fucked up.

240
00:12:55,523 --> 00:12:58,631
But I can tell you that there's a lot
of husbands and boyfriends out there

241
00:12:58,751 --> 00:13:00,913
who would not file that
under "cheating."

242
00:13:01,304 --> 00:13:02,955
Call me an old fuddy-Duddy,

243
00:13:03,075 --> 00:13:05,953
but I think anytime the tumescent head
makes an appearance,

244
00:13:06,073 --> 00:13:07,039
it's cheating.

245
00:13:07,524 --> 00:13:10,414
Is that good dirty talk?
Like, if I said to a client,

246
00:13:10,534 --> 00:13:13,141
"You're so fucking tumescent right now,"
would that be hot?

247
00:13:13,261 --> 00:13:16,689
Makes my wiener feel a little weird,
but that's just me. I like words.

248
00:13:19,106 --> 00:13:22,533
- How come you never called me?
- I was a little strapped for cash.

249
00:13:22,653 --> 00:13:25,243
You could have called
to ask me out on a proper date.

250
00:13:25,541 --> 00:13:27,560
I did give you my card,
didn't I?

251
00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:29,728
I just figured you give it
to all the fellas.

252
00:13:33,197 --> 00:13:35,686
You really got under my skin,
Hank Moody.

253
00:13:35,806 --> 00:13:37,653
I just couldn't shake you off.

254
00:13:37,813 --> 00:13:40,114
Like, I'd be blowing
some gross Persian dude

255
00:13:40,274 --> 00:13:42,241
at the Whore Seasons
and I'd be thinking,

256
00:13:43,387 --> 00:13:45,035
"I wonder how Hank's doing?"

257
00:13:45,492 --> 00:13:47,020
Fuck, that's romantic.

258
00:13:52,202 --> 00:13:53,794
Are you guys gonna bang or what?

259
00:13:53,954 --> 00:13:56,025
- What's it to you, Bo Bice?
- I don't know.

260
00:13:56,145 --> 00:13:58,149
I was just thinking
about how rad it would be

261
00:13:58,269 --> 00:14:00,134
to bend you over that balcony
and scream,

262
00:14:00,294 --> 00:14:03,204
"I'm the king of the world!"
as I'm about to pop, huh?

263
00:14:03,714 --> 00:14:05,389
How about in a bed with a condom?

264
00:14:05,549 --> 00:14:07,262
- Whatever, dude.
- Sure about this?

265
00:14:07,382 --> 00:14:08,742
All in a day's work.

266
00:14:09,183 --> 00:14:11,103
Man, you want to watch
for your book?

267
00:14:11,667 --> 00:14:13,140
Thanks, but I'll pass.

268
00:14:13,528 --> 00:14:14,773
Be good to the lady.

269
00:14:15,133 --> 00:14:16,661
Don't fuck up her toes.

270
00:14:47,963 --> 00:14:49,975
You might not want to sit there.

271
00:14:50,330 --> 00:14:52,978
Why? Have you got
the herp or something?

272
00:14:56,351 --> 00:14:57,450
Then I'm good.

273
00:15:00,097 --> 00:15:01,673
Look, but seriously.

274
00:15:01,793 --> 00:15:04,073
If you sit here,
people are gonna think you're weird.

275
00:15:06,027 --> 00:15:07,159
How unfortunate.

276
00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:10,360
And here I was
planning to run for prom queen.

277
00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:15,703
You're weird.

278
00:15:16,933 --> 00:15:19,713
At least I'm not the only boy
at an all-Girls school.

279
00:15:20,771 --> 00:15:22,299
Yeah... well...

280
00:15:23,026 --> 00:15:25,549
for your information,
I don't actually go here.

281
00:15:25,869 --> 00:15:29,557
I got suspended from my real school.
Some bullshit I didn't even do.

282
00:15:29,717 --> 00:15:32,255
And my mom was like,
"there's no f'ing way

283
00:15:32,375 --> 00:15:34,975
you're sitting on the couch all day,
playing Guitar Hero."

284
00:15:35,095 --> 00:15:36,586
She's a teacher here.

285
00:15:37,368 --> 00:15:39,108
English, I presume.

286
00:15:41,486 --> 00:15:42,828
Mrs. Patterson.

287
00:15:44,381 --> 00:15:46,198
What, do you have her or something?

288
00:15:46,551 --> 00:15:47,604
3rd period.

289
00:15:48,545 --> 00:15:50,411
But Ethan Frome gave you away.

290
00:15:52,374 --> 00:15:53,205
Right.

291
00:15:53,713 --> 00:15:56,000
She's making me read
this entire stupid book.

292
00:15:57,214 --> 00:15:58,794
Some sort of punishment.

293
00:16:00,330 --> 00:16:01,803
I'm sorry. I talk a lot.

294
00:16:02,213 --> 00:16:03,213
You do.

295
00:16:03,425 --> 00:16:05,903
And you forgot
the most important part...

296
00:16:06,686 --> 00:16:07,761
are you any good?

297
00:16:09,590 --> 00:16:11,307
You know, Guitar Hero.

298
00:16:29,004 --> 00:16:31,597
Man, I think I just found
the keys to my chi.

299
00:16:31,717 --> 00:16:32,578
How's Trix?

300
00:16:32,738 --> 00:16:34,941
She was fantastic.
She's a real dame.

301
00:16:35,237 --> 00:16:37,339
We didn't do anything, though.
We just hung out.

302
00:16:37,459 --> 00:16:40,461
If I knew you were just gonna hang out,
talk about your feelings and shit,

303
00:16:40,621 --> 00:16:43,700
I would've gone with Trixie.
She's my favorite, my best.

304
00:16:44,068 --> 00:16:45,049
Totally gets me.

305
00:16:45,209 --> 00:16:47,922
I know you reside in a whole
other solar system and shit,

306
00:16:48,042 --> 00:16:49,845
but in mine,
I don't cheat on my girl.

307
00:16:51,507 --> 00:16:52,723
Ladies and gentlemen,

308
00:16:53,449 --> 00:16:55,204
Hank Moody, debauched moralist.

309
00:16:55,595 --> 00:16:56,794
Why don't you...

310
00:16:57,666 --> 00:16:59,604
Why don't you tell me more
about your girl?

311
00:16:59,724 --> 00:17:01,552
- What girl?
- The one that got away,

312
00:17:01,672 --> 00:17:04,198
with the house in Beverly Hills.
Your Daisy Buchanan.

313
00:17:04,318 --> 00:17:05,819
That's not cool, Moody,

314
00:17:05,979 --> 00:17:09,418
calling back that shit. I was gorked.
I don't talk about it in broad daylight.

315
00:17:09,550 --> 00:17:11,651
Have you got the memo?
I'm writting your biography.

316
00:17:11,783 --> 00:17:14,620
Might want to start getting comfortable
talking about this in broad daylight.

317
00:17:14,780 --> 00:17:16,212
This is it, Lew. I am done.

318
00:17:16,332 --> 00:17:19,059
No more of you and your fucking
white-trash lottery winners!

319
00:17:19,179 --> 00:17:21,929
- What's wrong, sweetheart?
- That fucking asshole got rough with me

320
00:17:22,049 --> 00:17:23,785
and he went way off
the fucking menu!

321
00:17:23,905 --> 00:17:27,505
- What'd he do, honey? You all right?
- I'm fine! Luckily, he's a quick comer.

322
00:17:27,665 --> 00:17:29,176
Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry, Trix.

323
00:17:29,336 --> 00:17:31,252
They're animals.
They don't know any better.

324
00:17:31,372 --> 00:17:33,622
Someone's gonna have to deal
with the cleveland steamer

325
00:17:33,742 --> 00:17:35,140
he left on your coffee table.

326
00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:36,757
- Really?
- Really.

327
00:17:38,277 --> 00:17:39,144
Consuela!

328
00:17:39,977 --> 00:17:40,938
Consuela!

329
00:17:42,599 --> 00:17:44,817
- You're a fucking prick! You know that?
- Thank you.

330
00:17:44,977 --> 00:17:47,778
- Show some respect.
- What, to a fucking whore? Come on.

331
00:17:52,787 --> 00:17:54,985
What the fuck are you doing, Moody?!

332
00:17:55,362 --> 00:17:58,080
Slash traded me that Les Paul
for an eightball! Fuck!

333
00:17:58,937 --> 00:17:59,951
Get him!

334
00:18:03,996 --> 00:18:06,130
I swear to god,
I'll kill you!

335
00:18:10,857 --> 00:18:12,511
Back to work, assholes.

336
00:18:12,671 --> 00:18:14,513
We're making rock history here.

337
00:18:15,434 --> 00:18:16,807
Act accordingly.

338
00:18:20,310 --> 00:18:22,000
Look how great your tits are!

339
00:18:22,472 --> 00:18:23,625
Celebrate them!

340
00:18:24,151 --> 00:18:26,108
That's it, Daisy! Moan!

341
00:18:26,493 --> 00:18:27,976
Moan like it hurts a little.

342
00:18:28,300 --> 00:18:29,611
Not like an operation,

343
00:18:29,771 --> 00:18:32,281
More like... Like a dentist visit.
Come on, baby!

344
00:18:32,777 --> 00:18:34,116
Slam her, flex!

345
00:18:34,276 --> 00:18:36,003
How long does this
generally go on for,

346
00:18:36,123 --> 00:18:38,954
these cinema vйritй
masterpieces of yours?

347
00:18:39,114 --> 00:18:41,165
Asshole, shut the fuck up!

348
00:18:42,095 --> 00:18:43,597
I'll mind my business.

349
00:18:44,620 --> 00:18:47,804
I'm just a passenger
on the slam van.

350
00:18:48,882 --> 00:18:52,302
Just along for the ride.
Although I got to say, Daisy,

351
00:18:52,422 --> 00:18:54,518
I'm a little bit surprised
to see you like this.

352
00:18:54,687 --> 00:18:56,597
What are you talking about?
You knew I did porn.

353
00:18:56,757 --> 00:18:58,620
I did but the girl
I met back at hot lips

354
00:18:58,780 --> 00:19:00,267
had bigger plans for herself, huh?

355
00:19:00,427 --> 00:19:03,309
She had goals, she had dreams,
she had ambition.

356
00:19:03,429 --> 00:19:06,855
She did not... And I quote...
"Want to end up the ass-licker."

357
00:19:07,184 --> 00:19:09,841
Well, I'm not. You see
any other girls in this van?

358
00:19:10,033 --> 00:19:11,820
I'm totally the star
of this production.

359
00:19:11,980 --> 00:19:14,198
This production is one notch
above snuff film.

360
00:19:14,358 --> 00:19:16,641
Easy, brother.
Two more payments, and I own this van.

361
00:19:16,761 --> 00:19:19,270
Did you negotiate
before you got on this van, Daisy?

362
00:19:19,390 --> 00:19:21,955
Did you lay clear rules
for what you will and will not do?

363
00:19:22,529 --> 00:19:24,041
Then how you gonna get respect?

364
00:19:24,201 --> 00:19:26,734
How you gonna get paid accordingly?
What's the industry standard here?

365
00:19:26,854 --> 00:19:28,170
Double for anal? Am I right?

366
00:19:28,330 --> 00:19:30,088
Dumb shit,
we're shooting in a van.

367
00:19:30,248 --> 00:19:32,668
So what? Does fairness
not exist in a van, huh?

368
00:19:32,799 --> 00:19:35,260
Just because we're not on a sound stage,
does this young lady

369
00:19:35,420 --> 00:19:37,649
not deserve the same dignity,
the same respect

370
00:19:37,769 --> 00:19:39,866
as someone on a sitcom
or a broadway play?

371
00:19:39,986 --> 00:19:42,226
Look, Mr. Runkle, it's fine, really.

372
00:19:42,386 --> 00:19:45,234
No, no, Daisy, it is not fine.
There's a limit to how much

373
00:19:45,375 --> 00:19:47,731
someone can get fucked in the ass
without getting paid for it.

374
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:51,151
And you, young lady, today,
have reached that limit!

375
00:19:51,311 --> 00:19:52,986
That's it!
Bigs, stop the van!

376
00:19:53,146 --> 00:19:55,447
- What?
- Ovitz! Hit the bricks!

377
00:19:55,723 --> 00:19:56,865
Get the fuck out!

378
00:19:57,549 --> 00:19:58,826
With pleasure!

379
00:20:00,244 --> 00:20:01,787
- Daisy?
- I'm good.

380
00:20:01,947 --> 00:20:03,879
Little girl,
you're going too, sweetheart.

381
00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:06,348
- Go make your dreams come true.
- I didn't do anything!

382
00:20:06,470 --> 00:20:08,293
O-U-G-H-T... Out!

383
00:20:08,453 --> 00:20:11,104
She's real scared of you.
Let me tell you something, Al Goldstein.

384
00:20:11,224 --> 00:20:12,673
Talent runs this town!

385
00:20:12,833 --> 00:20:14,299
See you at the oscars, pal.

386
00:20:14,859 --> 00:20:15,877
Let's go!

387
00:20:16,239 --> 00:20:18,005
Let's just shoot it solo, baby.

388
00:20:20,407 --> 00:20:21,750
You left your shirt.

389
00:20:22,529 --> 00:20:23,642
No problem.

390
00:20:26,596 --> 00:20:28,547
- Here you go.
- Thank you.

391
00:20:31,308 --> 00:20:32,322
Looks good.

392
00:20:35,271 --> 00:20:37,140
Where the fuck are we?

393
00:20:38,472 --> 00:20:40,087
It's basic instinct, really.

394
00:20:40,284 --> 00:20:42,239
When I see a girl in trouble,
I just react.

395
00:20:42,359 --> 00:20:44,162
I don't think. I just do.

396
00:20:45,786 --> 00:20:48,208
Hank Moody, my hero.

397
00:20:48,878 --> 00:20:51,491
Just say the word if you want
to be properly rewarded.

398
00:20:51,660 --> 00:20:52,796
My treat, of course.

399
00:20:53,361 --> 00:20:54,967
Seriously, you'd comp him?

400
00:20:55,449 --> 00:20:58,385
Sure, why not? I've sampled
the merchandise. I know it's fresh.

401
00:20:58,545 --> 00:21:01,722
I do remember you telling me that you
never came that hard with a John before.

402
00:21:01,882 --> 00:21:03,825
I thought it was a line,
but as you walked away,

403
00:21:03,945 --> 00:21:06,295
your knees were a little wobbly,
so I thought, "maybe, yeah..."

404
00:21:06,415 --> 00:21:07,525
Hold on. Slow down.

405
00:21:07,645 --> 00:21:10,314
Are you saying...
he's fucking better than me?

406
00:21:10,474 --> 00:21:13,358
Fucking better at the fucking, yes.
I believe that's what she's getting at.

407
00:21:13,518 --> 00:21:15,193
No, that is not what I'm getting at.

408
00:21:15,353 --> 00:21:18,405
Please. What a stupid question.
Are the Stones better than the Beatles?

409
00:21:18,565 --> 00:21:21,116
- Fucking "A" they are.
- I must agree with the man.

410
00:21:21,276 --> 00:21:23,590
Okay, there's only one way
to settle this.

411
00:21:24,051 --> 00:21:26,496
- We both have to have her.
- We both have had her.

412
00:21:26,656 --> 00:21:28,057
Now. Right here.

413
00:21:28,177 --> 00:21:29,750
No.
Trixie, you know i'm a fan.

414
00:21:29,910 --> 00:21:32,224
- You got mad skills and all...
- Whip it out, Moody!

415
00:21:32,403 --> 00:21:33,545
One girl, two cocks...

416
00:21:33,705 --> 00:21:35,714
- Ultimate showdown.
- So, so tempting.

417
00:21:35,874 --> 00:21:38,050
- I'm still gonna have to pass.
- What's that word again?

418
00:21:38,210 --> 00:21:39,535
- "Pussy."
- Thank you.

419
00:21:39,655 --> 00:21:42,429
But any scenario involving two cocks
I'm generally not down with.

420
00:21:42,922 --> 00:21:44,229
Unless they're my own.

421
00:21:44,349 --> 00:21:46,224
Don't you sometimes
wish you had 2 cocks?

422
00:21:46,580 --> 00:21:47,601
I know I do.

423
00:21:48,426 --> 00:21:49,515
I guess not.

424
00:21:49,635 --> 00:21:51,019
For the sake of business,

425
00:21:51,139 --> 00:21:53,357
that little prick should
think I'm kicking your ass.

426
00:21:53,517 --> 00:21:55,596
Feel free to fight back anytime.

427
00:22:09,536 --> 00:22:10,849
What's going on?

428
00:22:11,875 --> 00:22:13,705
Typical male-ego bullshit.

429
00:22:16,384 --> 00:22:18,795
I've had both of them,
but what they seem to forget

430
00:22:18,915 --> 00:22:22,761
is that they both paid for the sex.
It is my job to make them feel good.

431
00:22:26,188 --> 00:22:29,535
Though I must say that
the brown-haired one, Hank,

432
00:22:30,314 --> 00:22:32,854
He's pretty damn good
in the sack department.

433
00:22:35,225 --> 00:22:36,819
- Have we met?
- No.

434
00:22:37,580 --> 00:22:38,580
I'm Trixie.

435
00:22:39,122 --> 00:22:39,945
Karen.

436
00:22:40,824 --> 00:22:41,989
You're Karen.

437
00:22:42,691 --> 00:22:44,658
- Hank's Karen.
- That's right.

438
00:22:44,818 --> 00:22:46,408
You jumped in the car!

439
00:22:47,143 --> 00:22:49,371
Happily ever after. That's awesome!

440
00:22:49,531 --> 00:22:51,248
- Good for you!
- Thanks.

441
00:22:57,719 --> 00:22:58,713
Karen!

442
00:23:00,783 --> 00:23:01,591
Sweetie!

443
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:06,086
- Hey, did you get the job?
- Yeah.

444
00:23:06,917 --> 00:23:07,889
Fantastic.

445
00:23:10,871 --> 00:23:12,254
So, you want to...

446
00:23:13,220 --> 00:23:14,796
get something to eat?

447
00:23:15,936 --> 00:23:17,460
Moroccan? Ethiopian?

448
00:23:18,690 --> 00:23:19,690
Italian.

449
00:23:20,501 --> 00:23:21,718
Indian!

450
00:23:26,444 --> 00:23:27,632
Hey, sweetie.

451
00:23:29,196 --> 00:23:32,256
Are you tucking me in
or avoiding mom?

452
00:23:33,266 --> 00:23:35,561
What, I can't do two things at once?

453
00:23:37,783 --> 00:23:39,066
Was it worth it?

454
00:23:39,414 --> 00:23:40,414
What?

455
00:23:40,738 --> 00:23:42,895
Whatever you did to piss her off.

456
00:23:46,889 --> 00:23:47,929
How was school?

457
00:23:50,110 --> 00:23:51,504
- Fine.
- "Fine"?

458
00:23:52,192 --> 00:23:54,186
Already your vocabulary
has decreased.

459
00:23:55,772 --> 00:23:58,356
I met someone
with frontal-lobe capacity.

460
00:23:58,516 --> 00:23:59,775
- Name?
- Damien.

461
00:24:00,441 --> 00:24:02,292
They have girls named Damien now?

462
00:24:02,657 --> 00:24:03,979
We're IMing as we speak.

463
00:24:06,714 --> 00:24:08,158
Not anymore, honey.

464
00:24:08,700 --> 00:24:11,093
T.T.Y.L., Damien. T.T.Y.L.

465
00:24:11,904 --> 00:24:12,996
I heart you.

466
00:24:25,469 --> 00:24:27,427
Mu God, you reek of cigarettes.

467
00:24:27,764 --> 00:24:30,073
Yes, but they're not my cigarettes.

468
00:24:34,962 --> 00:24:35,811
Hank...

469
00:24:36,166 --> 00:24:37,354
What are you doing?

470
00:24:38,113 --> 00:24:39,915
I am charming you into our first

471
00:24:40,035 --> 00:24:42,697
Post-Snip, safe/unsafe
romance explosion.

472
00:24:42,817 --> 00:24:44,720
Are you as excited as I am?

473
00:24:45,405 --> 00:24:46,405
No.

474
00:24:47,257 --> 00:24:48,257
No?

475
00:24:48,598 --> 00:24:49,741
That's it? No?

476
00:24:50,302 --> 00:24:52,828
Nothing about you is really
turning me on right now.

477
00:24:53,187 --> 00:24:54,496
There's always angry sex.

478
00:24:56,524 --> 00:24:59,543
- You actually think this is funny?
- It's a little funny...

479
00:24:59,703 --> 00:25:02,218
You think sleeping with
prostitutes is fucking funny?

480
00:25:02,338 --> 00:25:05,674
One prostitute, And I didn't even know
she was a prostitute until after.

481
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:08,802
You mean until after you paid her
to have sex with you?

482
00:25:08,962 --> 00:25:11,304
- Technically, Charlie paid for the sex.
- That's disgusting.

483
00:25:11,464 --> 00:25:14,862
But you met her. She was nice, right?
She didn't seem like a prostitute.

484
00:25:14,982 --> 00:25:16,579
I have no idea, Hank.

485
00:25:16,699 --> 00:25:18,520
I mean, you're the expert.
You tell me.

486
00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:20,639
Is there like
a group-discount thing?

487
00:25:20,759 --> 00:25:22,663
Do you have a little
punch card that you use?

488
00:25:22,783 --> 00:25:24,961
One time. I was lonely.
She was nice.

489
00:25:25,081 --> 00:25:27,735
And I don't think it's any worse
than buying somebody a drink.

490
00:25:27,855 --> 00:25:30,574
It's more honest. There's no
bullshit element of seduction.

491
00:25:30,734 --> 00:25:32,742
- What right does the government have...
- Please!

492
00:25:32,902 --> 00:25:34,619
Shut the fuck up, Hank, okay?

493
00:25:34,779 --> 00:25:37,363
I mean, don't give me one of
your fucking bullshit lectures

494
00:25:37,483 --> 00:25:39,207
on libertarianism right now!

495
00:25:39,367 --> 00:25:41,933
But honey that makes me kind
of sad, because you used to love

496
00:25:42,053 --> 00:25:44,855
- my shitty lectures on libertarianism.
- You're still fucking joking.

497
00:25:44,975 --> 00:25:47,134
No, I mean, how could I be?
We weren't together.

498
00:25:47,254 --> 00:25:49,342
I'm not gonna be held accountable
for those sins.

499
00:25:49,502 --> 00:25:52,282
No, of course not.
You're not accountable for any of it.

500
00:25:52,402 --> 00:25:55,286
"Oops, I accidentally went down on her.
Not my fault."

501
00:25:55,406 --> 00:25:57,976
"Officer, you know,
that cop, he provoked me."

502
00:25:58,136 --> 00:26:01,391
I mean, Hank, you always
have some fucking excuse!

503
00:26:01,664 --> 00:26:04,065
And I'm just meant to stand here
and accept it

504
00:26:04,225 --> 00:26:05,943
over and over again
and I'm sick of it!

505
00:26:06,063 --> 00:26:09,157
Fuck, Karen, you wanna be mad
about that shit? Then go ahead,

506
00:26:09,277 --> 00:26:12,004
But just don't give me some bullshit
about how you forgive me

507
00:26:12,124 --> 00:26:15,118
and then dredge up shit from the past
that I can't possibly fix!

508
00:26:15,278 --> 00:26:16,745
That's not forgiveness!

509
00:26:16,905 --> 00:26:20,531
- That's not giving it another shot!
- I'm not talking about the past, okay?

510
00:26:20,651 --> 00:26:22,437
I'm talking about right now.

511
00:26:22,557 --> 00:26:24,943
I'm talking about trying
to make this work, Hank!

512
00:26:25,063 --> 00:26:27,370
Well, how am I different
from this morning?

513
00:26:27,490 --> 00:26:28,757
What's changed?

514
00:26:29,887 --> 00:26:31,718
Yeah, nothing's changed.
You're right.

515
00:26:31,878 --> 00:26:33,363
That's the fucking problem.

516
00:26:33,483 --> 00:26:36,697
No, I'll tell you the fucking problem is
That I won't sit here and be crucified

517
00:26:36,817 --> 00:26:38,642
For shit that I did
while we were apart.

518
00:26:38,802 --> 00:26:40,602
Did I fuck half of Venice? Yes.

519
00:26:40,762 --> 00:26:43,188
- I really don't need to hear that.
- No, not really,

520
00:26:43,348 --> 00:26:46,495
But for the sake of this argument, yes.
But I didn't move in with any of them.

521
00:26:46,615 --> 00:26:49,477
And I didn't set up house with Becca
And the fucking dial tone.

522
00:26:49,597 --> 00:26:52,891
OK, right. Well, you know, now,
who's crucifying who?

523
00:26:53,191 --> 00:26:55,617
I mean, that's not very forgiving,
Hank, is it?

524
00:26:55,777 --> 00:26:58,328
It's not very nice.
I fucking hate you!