Субтитры - сезон 2, серия 4

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Previously on "californication"...

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Sonja. hey.

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Awkward.

4
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Nice to see you again.

5
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I am pregnant. you didn't notice my bump?

6
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Julian's a writer, too.

7
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Really? my condolences.

8
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I like to think of myself as more of a creative midwife.

9
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What, you're officially back together?

10
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-Until we fuck it up. -could be any second now.

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Hank!

12
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I got this, uh, book deal.

13
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They want to write about

14
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why everything I touch turns to gold.

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You write it.

16
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-Beatrice trixie. -hank moody.

17
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One girl, two cocks. ultimate showdown!

18
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I've had both of them, but what they seem to

19
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forget is that they both paid for the sex.

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Have we met?

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You always have some fucking excuse!

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Dude, this fucking perv just tried to mouth-rape me.

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I accidentally went down on her.

24
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I fucking hate you!

25
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If you sit here, people are gonna think you're weird.

26
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And here I was, planning to run for prom queen.

27
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Back to work, assholes!

28
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We're making rock history here!

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Oh, woman!

30
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What are you doing? I'm rocking "medium" now.

31
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86th percentile. don't shut the "freebird" down.

32
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What happened to the clearing up?

33
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Well, I kind of focused on the patio.

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And then I was summoned by the gods of rock.

35
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One must take heed of that shit.

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Right.

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We're having a dinner party.

38
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So why would you focus on the patio?

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God! when you say it out loud like that, it sounds awful.

40
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Is it too late to call off?

41
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Stop it. it's gonna be fun, right?

42
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Really?

43
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'cause I think it's gonna be like

44
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having a q-tip jammed up my urethra.

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For three hours.

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Without lube.

47
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Which could be fun if you do it...to me.

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-Wanna? -hank...

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Come on. let's get going.

50
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But I think you should check out the patio.

51
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-No, no, no. I got... -I think you'll be pleased.

52
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Judas priest, hank.

53
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What are you up to?

54
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I was hoping you'd finally make an honest woman of me.

55
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What is that?

56
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Is it not jaw-droppingly beautiful?

57
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Does it not to make the love juices to flow?

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Hank...

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I-i thought you gave that to a homeless woman.

60
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Who gives diamonds to the homeless?

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Not i, rabbi.

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I...i don't know what to say...

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Okay, well then, let me relieve

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you of your root vegetables...

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And allow me.

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I love you, karen.

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And I want to spend the rest of my life

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annoying the shit out of you.

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And I want the rest of my life to start right now.

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I'm sick and tired of fighting about the past.

71
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We're not going anywhere. I get that now.

72
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This is our home.

73
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Because home is wherever you and becca are.

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I love L.A.

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Seriously. i...i love it.

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I can't get enough of it.

77
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You are so full of shit.

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Will you marry me, karen?

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Queen of my dreams...

80
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Mother of my child...

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Lady of the valley...

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Any more?

83
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Fuck, now I'm out.

84
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I'm so wet right now. are you?

85
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It must be like niagara falls down there, huh?

86
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You could always check it out for yourself.

87
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88
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89
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90
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Why am I here?

92
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The question that plagues us all, mia.

93
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Why are you here?

94
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She's here because the poor little

95
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Wunderkind is spending too much time alone.

96
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Oh, "wunderkind"?

97
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Are we just tossing that term around now? really?

98
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I may be alone, but I am far from lonely.

99
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You wouldn't believe how many

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facebook fucktards want to be my friends.

101
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Hey, mia, could you use your big-girl words right now?

102
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Historically, bill was always fine with

103
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the creative use of profanity.

104
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So I recall.

105
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But I guess you weren't.

106
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Maybe that's why things didn't work out between you two.

107
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You see, I don't understand why we invite her.

108
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We already have one sullen

109
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disrespectful she-devil in our midst.

110
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Hank!

111
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How is that any better than the last?

112
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You said to change, I changed.

113
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Change again.

114
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You're making me mad, mother.

115
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Becca...

116
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Huh? hank, enough!

117
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I am making you mad?

118
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Allow me to defuse.

119
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-No. -Mrs. moody?

120
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Ms...

121
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Moody.

122
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Mr. moody.

123
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-Not so fast. -what?

124
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Did you hear me say "yes" at any point?

125
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You didn't have to. your eyes said it for you.

126
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As did the arching of your back and the soft

127
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gentle swell of your flower,

128
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The urgent release of...

129
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You smell like cigarettes.

130
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-What? -yeah.

131
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No. it's, um, mia. oh.

132
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Mia's been smoking. as for becca...

133
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I wouldn't worry. she'll be back to her sweet, little,

134
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Unicorn-loving self in no time.

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10 or 12 years, tops.

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-Дг±ЈЦ¤? -ОТ±ЈЦ¤
-You promise? -I promise.

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In the meantime, let's focus on the good.

138
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We's gettin' hitched, woman.

139
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And just a few short hours ago, you had a big, fat orgasm.

140
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This is heady stuff.

141
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Yours was pretty rockin', as well.

142
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Oh. yes, I was concerned for your safety.

143
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-You were? -yeah.

144
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How come?

145
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I was afraid that the sheer force of my

146
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Ejaculate might do some internal damage.

147
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You okay down there? don't flatter yourself.

148
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That's him.

149
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-Him who? -the boy.

150
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What boy? you didn't say anything about a boy.

151
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No, because I didn't want to do this for days.

152
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Um, go get the door. and be nice.

153
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I'm nice. I'm always nice. I love gentlemen callers.

154
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Okay.

155
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Fucking kid better watch his ass...

156
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Mia? load my shotgun.

157
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Come on! lipstick!

158
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Who are you?

159
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Damien.

160
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What do you want?

161
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Uh, I'm here to see becca moody.

162
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Do you like the rap music?

163
00:07:12,824 --> 00:07:14,924
-Um...yeah. -yeah?

164
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G's up, huh?

165
00:07:19,290 --> 00:07:21,557
What about roe v. wade?

166
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Um, i-i mean, I think it's the woman's choice.

167
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Why should I let you in?

168
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Well, 'cause I'd kind of really like to get away from...them.

169
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Yeah, I don't blame you. w-w-why are they doing that?

170
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I don't know.

171
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It's really creeping me out.

172
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All right. get inside, quick. go play some guitar hero.

173
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I'm on "medium" now -- 86th percentile.

174
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Hey, assholes...

175
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Hey! break it up.

176
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We dropped some "e".

177
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You guys are fuckin' retarded!

178
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you're worse than sid and nancy.

179
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Yeah, that's right. I never did it before.

180
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Me likey!

181
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Oh! just wait till we get naked.

182
00:08:01,824 --> 00:08:03,958
That's, uh, something I'm looking forward to.

183
00:08:04,130 --> 00:08:06,508
Here's a novel idea -- why don't you get naked and

184
00:08:06,508 --> 00:08:09,123
Fuck yourselves goofy in the privacy of your own home?

185
00:08:09,157 --> 00:08:11,757
No way. we're starving. let's eat.

186
00:08:11,791 --> 00:08:14,457
Oh, that's a very nice...

187
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Shirt.

188
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Where are all the white bitches at?

189
00:08:19,691 --> 00:08:21,290
Ha ha ha! there she is.

190
00:08:21,324 --> 00:08:22,858
I love you so much.

191
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You do?

192
00:08:23,891 --> 00:08:24,858
Mia...

193
00:08:24,891 --> 00:08:27,023
How are you? nice to see you.

194
00:08:27,057 --> 00:08:28,524
Ew! gross! is that a hard-on?

195
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Mia!

196
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Something poked me!

197
00:08:31,891 --> 00:08:33,290
Hey, what's going on? where are they?

198
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Oh, in her room.

199
00:08:34,390 --> 00:08:35,724
What is up with you, woman?

200
00:08:35,757 --> 00:08:37,924
She could be in her first trimester by now.

201
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Hank!

202
00:08:39,257 --> 00:08:40,958
-Becca. -dad?

203
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Door open at all times.

204
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Get it? got it? good.

205
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Damien...

206
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If that is your real name, and I'm not convinced...

207
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...i'm watching you.

208
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I'm not joking.

209
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I'm sorry. okay?

210
00:08:53,924 --> 00:08:56,290
Your hair is so gorgeous, mia.

211
00:08:56,324 --> 00:08:59,491
I want to chop it off and sleep in it, man.

212
00:09:02,657 --> 00:09:06,190
Oh, my god! I didn't even have time to get changed.

213
00:09:06,224 --> 00:09:07,190
Well, hello, dali!

214
00:09:07,224 --> 00:09:08,390
-You look gorgeous! -thank you!

215
00:09:08,424 --> 00:09:09,924
Hey! you look gorgeous, too.

216
00:09:09,958 --> 00:09:11,224
-Oh, my god. -sorry.

217
00:09:11,257 --> 00:09:12,224
Very friendly.

218
00:09:12,257 --> 00:09:13,591
You look gorgeous.

219
00:09:13,624 --> 00:09:15,224
Can I get you...

220
00:09:15,257 --> 00:09:17,257
Hi, man, how are ya?

221
00:09:18,390 --> 00:09:20,457
-What the fuck was that? -what?

222
00:09:20,491 --> 00:09:22,157
You just kissed me on the lips.

223
00:09:22,190 --> 00:09:23,457
Oh, sorry, friend.

224
00:09:23,491 --> 00:09:25,390
I didn't mean to stir up any feelings you couldn't handle.

225
00:09:25,424 --> 00:09:26,624
Oh, no, I can handle it.

226
00:09:26,657 --> 00:09:28,412
I just think it's well within my rights

227
00:09:28,412 --> 00:09:30,257
To not want the taste of you on my lips.

228
00:09:30,290 --> 00:09:31,924
Or my lady's lips, for that matter.

229
00:09:31,958 --> 00:09:34,023
But thanks for the vino. make yourself at home.

230
00:09:34,057 --> 00:09:37,424
That's beautiful.

231
00:09:37,457 --> 00:09:39,891
My father gave her a ring once, too.

232
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Didn't take.

233
00:09:40,924 --> 00:09:42,691
Uh, thank you, sweetie.

234
00:09:42,724 --> 00:09:44,824
So, karen, when's the wedding?

235
00:09:44,858 --> 00:09:46,190
Oh, my god.

236
00:09:46,224 --> 00:09:48,757
He just, like, proposed to me a couple of hours ago.

237
00:09:48,791 --> 00:09:51,891
You know what? if you want, julian can marry you.

238
00:09:51,924 --> 00:09:53,591
He's an ordained minister.

239
00:09:53,624 --> 00:09:56,057
Why doesn't that surprise me at all?

240
00:09:56,090 --> 00:09:57,858
It's called church of the silentdawn.

241
00:09:57,891 --> 00:09:59,724
And, uh, he's married so many couples.

242
00:09:59,757 --> 00:10:01,700
Which is odd 'cause,

243
00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:04,057
of course, he sure won't, you know, marry me.

244
00:10:04,090 --> 00:10:06,624
Maybe the baby is gonna change his mind.

245
00:10:06,657 --> 00:10:09,390
Or maybe he's just not that into you.

246
00:10:12,557 --> 00:10:14,257
Mia, that's rude.

247
00:10:14,290 --> 00:10:16,691
Don't shoot the messenger.

248
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Star power!

249
00:10:21,924 --> 00:10:24,424
You should come to, uh, one of my workshops.

250
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Free of charge.

251
00:10:25,457 --> 00:10:26,791
You do workshops now?

252
00:10:26,824 --> 00:10:28,057
I am down with that shit.

253
00:10:28,090 --> 00:10:29,390
See what it's about.

254
00:10:29,424 --> 00:10:31,990
Maybe it'll help you with your writing.

255
00:10:32,023 --> 00:10:33,362
does he cut you a check, too?

256
00:10:33,372 --> 00:10:34,791
When you extract the artist within

257
00:10:34,824 --> 00:10:37,431
Well, I suppose you could mock it if you want,

258
00:10:37,431 --> 00:10:40,791
But it does seem to be striking a minor chord out there.

259
00:10:41,824 --> 00:10:44,057
He's being very modest.

260
00:10:44,090 --> 00:10:47,657
The thing's selling like michael jackson's "thriller" album.

261
00:10:47,691 --> 00:10:50,224
It's a great record. definitely one of my top 10.

262
00:10:52,924 --> 00:10:56,257
You're just printing money over there, aren't you?

263
00:10:59,557 --> 00:11:02,190
That's a very nice material. what is that?

264
00:11:02,224 --> 00:11:03,257
I don't know.

265
00:11:03,290 --> 00:11:05,724
-Is that a linen or... -no idea.

266
00:11:08,624 --> 00:11:10,257
You done?

267
00:11:11,457 --> 00:11:13,400
You know, I'm not surprised that

268
00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:15,310
you attained best-seller status,

269
00:11:15,310 --> 00:11:19,524
Because I think you tapped into one of the biggest markets there is.

270
00:11:19,557 --> 00:11:21,457
Everybody wants to feel special.

271
00:11:21,491 --> 00:11:22,491
They are.

272
00:11:22,524 --> 00:11:24,858
Even you -- hank moody.

273
00:11:24,891 --> 00:11:27,057
Wow! first a kiss, now the sweet-talk.

274
00:11:27,090 --> 00:11:29,090
What's next, a little hand release?

275
00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:35,190
Will you excuse me a moment?

276
00:11:38,123 --> 00:11:41,491
Hey, guys, move that over. it's a little tight.

277
00:11:43,990 --> 00:11:46,657
All right, that's good.

278
00:11:48,257 --> 00:11:49,390
-Ashby! -moody!

279
00:11:49,424 --> 00:11:51,257
What took you so long, man?

280
00:11:51,290 --> 00:11:53,624
Uh, stopped to pick up some dessert.

281
00:11:53,657 --> 00:11:55,057
You'll thank me later.

282
00:11:55,090 --> 00:11:56,657
Music people time.

283
00:11:58,667 --> 00:12:01,000
Destiny, Moody. Moody, Destiny.

284
00:12:01,033 --> 00:12:03,400
Yes, we haven't been formally introduced...

285
00:12:03,434 --> 00:12:05,901
You brought me to the mouth-rapist's house?

286
00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:07,834
Oh, shit, from the party.

287
00:12:07,868 --> 00:12:10,200
I'm a fucking idiot.

288
00:12:12,133 --> 00:12:13,734
-Should I leave? -Yeah.

289
00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:15,501
No, really. come on, don't be silly.

290
00:12:15,534 --> 00:12:17,000
What's your old lady's name again?

291
00:12:17,033 --> 00:12:18,200
-Karen. -Karen.

292
00:12:18,234 --> 00:12:20,934
Got it. Karen, Karen, Karen, Karen, Karen.

293
00:12:20,968 --> 00:12:23,367
You ready? come on, let's go deep.

294
00:12:33,434 --> 00:12:36,901
Wh-why don't, uh... does somebody want to say grace?

295
00:12:36,934 --> 00:12:39,067
Anybody? Damien? no grace from you?

296
00:12:39,100 --> 00:12:40,934
I'll say grace.

297
00:12:40,968 --> 00:12:43,734
Fantastic. take it away, daughter.

298
00:12:43,767 --> 00:12:47,400
Um, can you choose your words really carefully? okay?

299
00:12:49,567 --> 00:12:52,093
I would like to thank the lord below

300
00:12:52,093 --> 00:12:55,567
for giving me the strength to make it through this dinner.

301
00:12:55,601 --> 00:12:57,234
Praise hail satan.

302
00:12:57,267 --> 00:12:58,767
Oh, that was cool.

303
00:12:58,801 --> 00:12:59,767
And scary.

304
00:12:59,801 --> 00:13:02,167
Seriously. I have chills.

305
00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:04,267
Can you scratch my back, baby?

306
00:13:04,300 --> 00:13:05,501
That's interesting.

307
00:13:05,534 --> 00:13:07,734
Oh! that feels amazing. you're like a wizard.

308
00:13:07,767 --> 00:13:11,901
Becca's going through a bit of a phase right now.

309
00:13:11,934 --> 00:13:13,767
-It's not a phase, mother. it's my religion. -I know.

310
00:13:13,801 --> 00:13:15,501
Also she's willing to suffer for it.

311
00:13:15,534 --> 00:13:17,705
She was sent to the principal's office

312
00:13:17,705 --> 00:13:20,334
The other day for possessing a satanic bible.

313
00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:21,800
Nothing like sending your kid

314
00:13:21,900 --> 00:13:23,039
to a "progressive" private school

315
00:13:23,039 --> 00:13:25,934
That wants to burn your kid's books.

316
00:13:25,968 --> 00:13:27,401
Yeah, but, then again

317
00:13:27,402 --> 00:13:29,902
They might be right to raise an eyebrow.

318
00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:31,801
After all, where does it end?

319
00:13:31,834 --> 00:13:33,133
What do you mean?

320
00:13:33,167 --> 00:13:36,054
Well, it's all well and good to indulge your children,

321
00:13:36,054 --> 00:13:38,500
But to endorse a point of view

322
00:13:38,500 --> 00:13:40,000
That profanes every sacrosanct concept

323
00:13:40,100 --> 00:13:41,501
in our culture is wrong, no?

324
00:13:41,534 --> 00:13:43,400
Okay, I think it's time to put

325
00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:45,467
sir Walter Raleigh back in the can.

326
00:13:46,567 --> 00:13:48,934
Honey, it's none of our business.

327
00:13:48,968 --> 00:13:51,701
Chapter four -- lose your filter, find your way.

328
00:13:51,734 --> 00:13:54,167
-How could I forget? -Gefilte? did somebody say "Gefilte"?

329
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:55,667
Have you read it?

330
00:13:56,734 --> 00:13:57,701
Excuse me?

331
00:13:57,734 --> 00:13:59,601
Have you read the book?

332
00:13:59,634 --> 00:14:02,300
I don't think I need to, honey.

333
00:14:02,334 --> 00:14:04,467
Don't "honey" me, mister.

334
00:14:04,501 --> 00:14:08,334
The satanic bible is actually the ultimate self-help book.

335
00:14:08,367 --> 00:14:10,801
It's not about worshipping the devil.

336
00:14:10,834 --> 00:14:13,020
It's about believing in yourself first and foremost

337
00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:15,934
And not wasting your time on psychic vampires.

338
00:14:15,968 --> 00:14:16,693
If you read it, You might learn a thing or two

339
00:14:16,693 --> 00:14:21,301
Because it actually makes a hell of a lot more sense than

340
00:14:21,301 --> 00:14:23,800
The gobbledygook you're passing off on the average

341
00:14:23,900 --> 00:14:26,067
everyday barnes & noble bottom-feeder.

342
00:14:26,100 --> 00:14:28,634
That's right -- I've read your book.

343
00:14:28,667 --> 00:14:30,734
I want my money back.

344
00:14:30,767 --> 00:14:32,267
O-tay!

345
00:14:32,300 --> 00:14:35,000
I don't know about you guys

346
00:14:35,100 --> 00:14:37,567
but I think that deserves a slow handclap.

347
00:14:37,601 --> 00:14:39,400
Hank.

348
00:14:39,434 --> 00:14:41,133
-That's rude. -Bravo!

349
00:14:41,167 --> 00:14:43,701
Hank, no. no, no. stop.

350
00:14:43,734 --> 00:14:46,234
That girl's magic.

351
00:14:46,267 --> 00:14:47,334
W-what's her name?

352
00:14:47,367 --> 00:14:48,400
-Becca. -Becca.

353
00:14:48,434 --> 00:14:51,167
So when are you due, sweetie?

354
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:52,667
You are pregnant, right?

355
00:14:52,701 --> 00:14:54,701
Oh, no. yeah. I am, uh, I am pregnant.

356
00:14:54,734 --> 00:14:55,701
Yes, I am.

357
00:14:55,734 --> 00:14:56,834
-Congratulations! -Thank you.

358
00:14:56,868 --> 00:14:58,834
And my due date is not far enough away.

359
00:14:58,868 --> 00:15:01,157
Did you guys have a lot of fun trying,

360
00:15:01,157 --> 00:15:04,868
Or did you have to beat off into a test tube or something?

361
00:15:04,901 --> 00:15:06,434
I'm just asking.

362
00:15:06,467 --> 00:15:09,601
I mean, people do that shit -- stuff -- a lot nowadays.

363
00:15:09,634 --> 00:15:13,033
No, well, this happened the old-fashioned way.

364
00:15:13,067 --> 00:15:14,467
Oh, okay.

365
00:15:14,501 --> 00:15:17,934
You gave her a little bit of the old artist within, didn't you?

366
00:15:17,968 --> 00:15:19,133
Salty dog.

367
00:15:19,167 --> 00:15:21,033
Actually, I'm not the father.

368
00:15:21,067 --> 00:15:22,767
Not the father?

369
00:15:22,801 --> 00:15:24,300
Oh, my god.

370
00:15:24,334 --> 00:15:26,467
I-i-i had no idea. I'm sorry.

371
00:15:26,501 --> 00:15:28,133
No, no, no. I have no secrets.

372
00:15:28,167 --> 00:15:30,200
There is no shame.

373
00:15:30,234 --> 00:15:35,267
But, uh, when we met, sonja was already pregnant.

374
00:15:35,300 --> 00:15:37,434
I could smell it on her.

375
00:15:37,467 --> 00:15:38,434
Smell it?

376
00:15:39,667 --> 00:15:41,434
Yeah, yeah.

377
00:15:41,467 --> 00:15:44,067
Really, he is, uh, serious. I didn't know.

378
00:15:44,100 --> 00:15:45,968
That's...possible.

379
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,968
Yeah, yeah. I know, right?

380
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:51,567
It was quite a weird first date, it was.

381
00:15:51,601 --> 00:15:57,267
I'll raise the child as my own. and I'll love it as my own.

382
00:15:57,300 --> 00:15:59,601
I think that is awesome.

383
00:15:59,634 --> 00:16:01,965
This is a grown man willing to stand up

384
00:16:01,965 --> 00:16:04,834
And take responsibility for another man's seed.

385
00:16:04,868 --> 00:16:06,534
-Big ups... -Thank you.

386
00:16:06,567 --> 00:16:08,801
Mad love... much respect.

387
00:16:08,834 --> 00:16:10,934
What is she doing?

388
00:16:10,968 --> 00:16:13,567
So you have no idea who the father is?

389
00:16:13,601 --> 00:16:15,934
I'm not that big a slut, karen.

390
00:16:15,968 --> 00:16:17,434
No! I...

391
00:16:17,467 --> 00:16:18,701
Hey, hey, hey, hey. no one's judging.

392
00:16:18,734 --> 00:16:19,968
No one's judging, baby girl.

393
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,567
Some of my favorite humans are sluts.

394
00:16:21,601 --> 00:16:23,501
My wife is a slut.

395
00:16:23,534 --> 00:16:25,300
I, personally, don't believe in that word.

396
00:16:25,334 --> 00:16:27,217
I think that a woman who indulges herself

397
00:16:27,217 --> 00:16:29,467
Sexually should be celebrated and not condemned.

398
00:16:29,501 --> 00:16:31,801
Hey, chapter seven -- "let a ho be a ho," right?

399
00:16:31,834 --> 00:16:32,801
That's right!

400
00:16:32,834 --> 00:16:34,000
Amen to that.

401
00:16:34,033 --> 00:16:36,801
That's exactly what the satanic bible would say.

402
00:16:36,834 --> 00:16:38,000
Hail satan!

403
00:16:38,033 --> 00:16:39,767
There was only one guy, according to Sonja.

404
00:16:39,801 --> 00:16:43,100
And, um, you know, she was, um, lonely.

405
00:16:43,133 --> 00:16:45,167
He was there.

406
00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:48,200
You needed a little positive reinforcement, didn't you?

407
00:16:48,234 --> 00:16:49,434
And he gave you that.

408
00:16:49,467 --> 00:16:52,200
So, there is nothing to be ashamed of.

409
00:16:52,234 --> 00:16:53,534
We all do it.

410
00:16:53,567 --> 00:16:57,234
The point is to rise above it and to love ourselves.

411
00:16:57,267 --> 00:16:59,033
Totally, totally.

412
00:16:59,067 --> 00:17:00,956
You just come up with that shit or

413
00:17:00,956 --> 00:17:03,234
Do you have cue cards written somewhere?

414
00:17:03,267 --> 00:17:05,667
Okay...

415
00:17:05,701 --> 00:17:09,535
So I'm just doing a little mental math over here,

416
00:17:09,535 --> 00:17:11,969
And I think what you're saying,

417
00:17:11,969 --> 00:17:15,000
Sonja -- and correct me if I'm wrong

418
00:17:15,001 --> 00:17:20,001
But that Hank could very well be the father of the child.

419
00:17:20,033 --> 00:17:22,000
Because you guys definitely bumped uglies

420
00:17:22,100 --> 00:17:24,527
that one night at my father's,

421
00:17:24,527 --> 00:17:25,033
Right?

422
00:17:26,601 --> 00:17:27,968
You wear a cock bag?

423
00:17:29,033 --> 00:17:31,567
Nope. he hates rubbers.

424
00:17:31,601 --> 00:17:33,634
Yeah. me too. I can't feel a damn thing.

425
00:17:33,667 --> 00:17:35,000
I love rubbers.

426
00:17:35,033 --> 00:17:37,234
-Keeps him in the game. -keeps me in the game.

427
00:17:39,968 --> 00:17:43,100
God, I'm sorry. I didn't...

428
00:17:43,133 --> 00:17:44,901
I didn't want it to come out like this.

429
00:17:48,767 --> 00:17:50,520
I've been trying to find a way to tell you.

430
00:17:50,530 --> 00:17:50,944
But it doesn't matter.

431
00:17:50,954 --> 00:17:51,155
But it doesn't matter.

432
00:17:51,165 --> 00:17:51,367
But it doesn't matter.

433
00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:53,445
You know, I mean, I want this baby no matter what.

434
00:17:53,456 --> 00:17:54,473
You know, I mean, I want this baby no matter what.

435
00:17:54,483 --> 00:17:55,501
You know, I mean, I want this baby no matter what.

436
00:17:56,634 --> 00:17:59,800
Dude, this is my favorite dinner party ever.

437
00:17:59,900 --> 00:18:01,367
I'm so glad I came.

438
00:18:01,567 --> 00:18:04,200
Well, I don't know about you guys

439
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:06,200
but I think a cheers is in order, huh?

440
00:18:06,234 --> 00:18:10,033
To yet another fine mess. good job!

441
00:18:10,067 --> 00:18:11,901
I'll drink to that.

442
00:18:13,900 --> 00:18:14,934
Well done.

443
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,101
Let's go.

444
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:25,967
To fine messes... and new daddies.

445
00:18:44,834 --> 00:18:46,801
What the fuck?!

446
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:48,400
This is my daughter's bedroom!

447
00:18:48,434 --> 00:18:50,067
I know. chick's got great taste.

448
00:18:50,100 --> 00:18:53,100
Have you no sense of shame? get the fuck out of here!

449
00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:54,300
You know better.

450
00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:56,567
-Marcy... -jesus christ, charlie.

451
00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:22,868
Motherfucker left a floater.

452
00:19:24,467 --> 00:19:26,767
Game on, broheim. oh, I get it.

453
00:19:26,801 --> 00:19:28,734
I read you, brother.

454
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,267
I hear you talking to me.

455
00:19:35,968 --> 00:19:38,033
No.

456
00:19:43,734 --> 00:19:45,834
Hey, you know what?

457
00:19:45,868 --> 00:19:50,367
The fucking "artist within" left us a turd within our toilet.

458
00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:52,734
Can you believe that shit? literally?

459
00:19:52,767 --> 00:19:54,767
It's like he's taking a dump on top of my head.

460
00:19:54,801 --> 00:19:56,234
I'm reading him loud and clear.

461
00:19:56,267 --> 00:19:58,234
I mean, it's a thing between him and me.

462
00:19:58,267 --> 00:19:59,200
And I think it involves you.

463
00:19:59,267 --> 00:20:00,300
you've inflamed him in some way.

464
00:20:00,334 --> 00:20:02,334
Now it's like "jaws 3." it's personal.

465
00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:03,600
You want a bump?

466
00:20:03,601 --> 00:20:06,667
Are you ready to talk about it now?

467
00:20:06,834 --> 00:20:08,734
What was that?

468
00:20:12,234 --> 00:20:14,000
-What's he on? -the coke

469
00:20:14,100 --> 00:20:15,000
I know. what else?

470
00:20:15,033 --> 00:20:19,434
Nothing. he did a few lines, had a few drinks, that's it.

471
00:20:19,467 --> 00:20:20,701
Get the pen.

472
00:20:20,734 --> 00:20:22,990
The pen.

473
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:24,200
I got it.

474
00:20:24,234 --> 00:20:27,234
Get the pen! the pen! the pen!

475
00:20:28,534 --> 00:20:30,401
fuck!

476
00:20:30,434 --> 00:20:46,701
- Ugh! oh, my god! wh-what - oh, I hate when that happens.

477
00:20:50,734 --> 00:20:53,100
What the fuck was that?

478
00:20:53,133 --> 00:20:54,968
Food allergies.

479
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:57,901
Bane of my fucking existence.

480
00:20:57,968 --> 00:21:01,701
Did you eat any of that sashimi?

481
00:21:01,834 --> 00:21:04,133
And then you shoved your tongue down my throat.

482
00:21:04,167 --> 00:21:05,868
There you go.

483
00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:10,234
Thanks, pal. you saved my life.

484
00:21:10,501 --> 00:21:13,534
Hey, what'd you do with that coke?

485
00:21:14,601 --> 00:21:16,534
You know you can always crash at my house, right?

486
00:21:16,567 --> 00:21:19,300
Thank you, but I don't think that'll be necessary.

487
00:21:19,334 --> 00:21:20,467
I don't know, man.

488
00:21:20,501 --> 00:21:22,995
I know chicks -- this looks like some serious,

489
00:21:22,995 --> 00:21:25,934
Extreme doghouse shit right here.

490
00:21:25,968 --> 00:21:28,133
Ready, darlin'?

491
00:21:28,167 --> 00:21:29,234
Uh, yep.

492
00:21:29,267 --> 00:21:30,567
Where are you going?

493
00:21:30,601 --> 00:21:31,601
They're giving me a ride.

494
00:21:31,634 --> 00:21:33,500
Uh, maybe stop for a drink.

495
00:21:33,533 --> 00:21:35,667
Works for me. the other room?

496
00:21:35,701 --> 00:21:37,567
- Great. - okay.

497
00:21:37,601 --> 00:21:39,234
Good night, mia.

498
00:21:40,367 --> 00:21:42,367
Good night.

499
00:21:45,667 --> 00:21:46,667
Hey, come here.

500
00:21:46,701 --> 00:21:49,101
You be cool with her because she's, um...

501
00:21:49,134 --> 00:21:52,234
She doesn't seem like it, but she's kind of a fragile flower.

502
00:21:52,267 --> 00:21:53,801
All right? so play nice.

503
00:21:53,834 --> 00:21:55,167
Look, I have many vices, my friend,

504
00:21:55,250 --> 00:21:57,167
but jailbait ain't one of 'em.

505
00:21:57,200 --> 00:22:00,601
Well, I mean, there was that one time in salt lake city.

506
00:22:00,634 --> 00:22:03,634
But that was like a mormon mother/daughter thing.

507
00:22:03,667 --> 00:22:06,334
Pretty fucking hot.

508
00:22:06,367 --> 00:22:09,534
I pull that out of the spank bank every once in a while.

509
00:22:09,567 --> 00:22:11,968
Mind if I borrow it?

510
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,167
You know where I live.

511
00:22:16,334 --> 00:22:20,133
- Mr. moody. - that sounds weird.

512
00:22:20,167 --> 00:22:22,934
Call me "he who will kill you if you touch his daughter."

513
00:22:22,968 --> 00:22:24,267
Right.

514
00:22:24,300 --> 00:22:25,033
I get it.

515
00:22:25,067 --> 00:22:26,701
She's pretty awesome.

516
00:22:26,734 --> 00:22:30,300
She is. but thank you for saying that.

517
00:22:30,334 --> 00:22:32,568
Do you need a...do you need a ride home or something?

518
00:22:32,568 --> 00:22:34,467
Uh, no, I walked.

519
00:22:34,501 --> 00:22:35,734
I live close-by.

520
00:22:35,767 --> 00:22:37,667
Oh, fantastic.

521
00:22:37,701 --> 00:22:40,367
Yeah, so I guess we'll be seeing a lot of each other.

522
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:41,901
Don't push it.

523
00:22:41,934 --> 00:22:43,501
Goodbye forever.

524
00:22:52,100 --> 00:22:55,234
I told you we should have called the whole thing off.

525
00:22:55,267 --> 00:22:58,989
Then we wouldn't have gotten the happy news

526
00:22:58,989 --> 00:23:02,934
The man with the fresh vasectomy is about to be a daddy.

527
00:23:04,767 --> 00:23:07,133
You caught me.

528
00:23:07,167 --> 00:23:08,601
Yeah.

529
00:23:11,701 --> 00:23:14,767
At least you can see the comedy in all of this.

530
00:23:14,801 --> 00:23:17,333
Oh, right. I either laugh or I cry, right?

531
00:23:17,367 --> 00:23:19,734
Or both.

532
00:23:19,734 --> 00:23:22,267
Maybe I'm pms'ing

533
00:23:22,767 --> 00:23:24,267
but I feel like I could use a good cry.

534
00:23:24,934 --> 00:23:29,033
I'm not -- I'm not mad at you.

535
00:23:30,033 --> 00:23:33,033
How is that even remotely possible?

536
00:23:35,067 --> 00:23:37,000
'cause this isn't about anything

537
00:23:37,100 --> 00:23:39,467
you did while we were apart.

538
00:23:39,501 --> 00:23:42,434
This is about what I did.

539
00:23:42,467 --> 00:23:46,100
I made a huge mistake.

540
00:23:46,133 --> 00:23:48,300
No. don't say that. you didn't.

541
00:23:48,334 --> 00:23:51,234
I did. I jumped in the car with you that night.

542
00:23:51,267 --> 00:23:55,067
Then we came back here and we had sex and then we

543
00:23:55,067 --> 00:24:00,100
Just -- we just tried to pick up where we left off.

544
00:24:00,133 --> 00:24:01,991
I mean, do you have any idea how...

545
00:24:01,994 --> 00:24:05,434
Fucking dysfunctional that is?

546
00:24:06,467 --> 00:24:09,300
You know, silly me, 'cause I'm...

547
00:24:09,334 --> 00:24:14,133
I'm sitting here thinking that it's like a dream come true.

548
00:24:14,167 --> 00:24:16,367
It was. it was a dream.

549
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:18,367
But we were crazy, hank.

550
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:21,688
Like,Thinking we could just wave a magic wand

551
00:24:21,688 --> 00:24:23,834
And -- and everything would be as it was.

552
00:24:23,868 --> 00:24:28,734
I mean, if it was ever as we think it was

553
00:24:28,868 --> 00:24:30,734
if you know what I mean.

554
00:24:30,767 --> 00:24:31,767
Right.

555
00:24:31,801 --> 00:24:35,601
Because we... we just imagined everything.

556
00:24:35,634 --> 00:24:38,601
We can't do this to her anymore.

557
00:24:38,634 --> 00:24:42,000
You know, we've been reckless with her heart.

558
00:24:42,033 --> 00:24:43,734
- Or I have. - no, no.

559
00:24:43,767 --> 00:24:45,467
I-i-i-i-i... it's my fault.

560
00:24:46,501 --> 00:24:46,712
I-i should've gone away.

561
00:24:46,712 --> 00:24:49,767
-I should have gotten my sh- -you are a wonderful mother.

562
00:24:49,801 --> 00:24:51,901
Always.

563
00:24:53,467 --> 00:24:56,334
I will never, ever regret

564
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:59,334
getting into the car with you that night.

565
00:24:59,367 --> 00:25:01,267
'cause it was so much fun.

566
00:25:02,501 --> 00:25:06,534
And marrying bill was definitely not the answer.

567
00:25:09,067 --> 00:25:12,968
I don't... know how to say this, but...

568
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:15,167
Don't.

569
00:25:18,801 --> 00:25:21,634
...neither is marrying you.

570
00:25:26,167 --> 00:25:30,300
-This isn't the answer either, you know? -no.

571
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:39,100
Angel, I love you so, so much.

572
00:25:42,834 --> 00:25:45,000
I can't stay.

573
00:25:45,033 --> 00:25:48,000
I'm not asking you to.

574
00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:55,367
I can't stay.

575
00:26:14,567 --> 00:26:16,367
I'm gonna go out for a little while.

576
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:19,467
It's okay, dad. you tried your best.

577
00:26:21,801 --> 00:26:24,934
It was nice while it lasted.